For the first time
In a long time
I looked at the mirror
And saw myself
Or a reflection
Of what's left of my shadow
And I realized
Life is a soundless song
And I have forgotten
How to dance
To its tune

I'm always drawn to the ruins
Opting for the unlikely
For love where there's none
Life, where death hunts
Beauty in ashes
And for calm in the storm

But, Like attracts like
They say...

Eclipse
The only time I get your attention
For real, I try
Can't say I don't
Littering all over the ocean's bed
Light that wasn't even mine to give
Even as I take several shapes
To get your genuine attention
Not just because you are a werewolf
That's about to turn
Or cos the month's about to end
Or cos you are
getting fed up with the fast
But because for once I cover
Your precious sun
It doesn't yet make up
for those nights
where the sun denies me
and you of its light

I did think we were a match
Made in heaven
And like a match
Made in heaven
Only you can light up this fire
That burns deep in my soul

They say with written letters,
Your blood takes the color of the ink.

Makes me wonder
Why we don't write them anymore.

... She turned to me
with tears in her soulless eyes and asked

Do you know that feeling
That comes with trusting someone
With something so fragile
And they return it in pieces so broken
You tell them to keep it?

That's what you've done with my heart.

Keep it.

Yesterday I woke up without a heart
No worries, no pain
Somewhere beyond the lies

Yesterday I woke up with my future ahead of me
No delays, no denials
Somewhere beyond the highs

The past is in the past
Let it remain, the past
Therefore today,
I live for tomorrow

I was 9
House wasn't really home
Home was at grandmas
Tales by moonlight meant More
Than the world; all the world I knew

Gathered under the shed at night
Moon or not
Story night must go on
The other kids swarmed
In mini circles
Breaking kernel, not me though;
All I did was eat them

The tortoise was my favorite
Albeit a fictional cun,
the tales did justice
To his poise, and I started
To believe that slow was good
Slow and wise was the vogue
At the expense of the arrogant dog

The lion was my favorite villain
Loved him for his hair and voice
"The lion said to the tortoise" right?
Of cos he had a voice, how else
Would he have spoken?

All too often my thoughts go back
to those times
when 9 wasn't just my age
But a time for tales

Sometimes, love is about regret
About things you will never get to have
With the one you shouldn't have let go
Feelings unexplored
Because now, you are with someone else

Most times, its about choices
Bad choices to say the least
To walk away or to stay the pain
To trust your heart with someone else
Not unlike an ***** donation without
A test for compatibility

Every other time, it's about the little things
That make you laugh and cry
That make you smile so hard at odd lone times
That hurt you so much, you want to die

Ultimately, it's about all the things you cherish
But still can't understand
Or stand.

It's true
That
I don't know
What Love is

But I've felt it.

I think so much
About seasons
And night
And day

Like why
It's so hot out here
And cold where you are

And why
It's so dark up here
But the light is all I see below

But mostly why
You are all I feel
Yet you feel nothing

Dreams.

There's one and the other

The one I'm chasing and

The one I'm being chased in

I don't bother about sleep these days

My dreams wake me up anyway

And it's not the one I'm being chased in...

You
were
to
me
like
ice
turned
water
turned
gas
and
gone
with
the
wind.


Never
deserving
Of
My
Fire.

Do you see me at all
When I come home stressed
Wishing you could kiss away
the frown on my fore
And hug away the stress
I know you see the hunger in my eyes
If only you'd run me a hot bath
to calm my nerves
and squeeze my hands with a smile
I know you won't, but I wish you could

I know you hear me
When I talk about my fears and worries
If only you do listen with a smile
And let me know you've got my back
Hold my head to your chest as I vent
I know you won't, but I wish you could

You laugh when I laugh
Your voice resonates in songs
and your dance is infectious
You laugh uncontrollably
at my jokes and teasing
And hit me with the pillow
when I'm not looking
I know you want to let go
I know You won't, but I wish you could

You say you believe me
when I say
I love you; I need you
Sade means nothing,
and she really doesn't
You say you trust me
You should be saying
I love you too
But you won't, and I wish you could

Cos when I say I'm stressed,
you think I'm being manipulating
When I express my fears and worries,
you think I'm playing mind games
When I'm happy,
you think it's cos there's another
And when I talk
about my love for you,
you think it's cos
I'm hiding something else
Oftentimes It feels like
you want to let go
Every other time I see the futility
of trying to set you free
You could set yourself free,
but would you?

The legend of the elements
And their evidence in our living

The earth, our home
Of it we are made; To it we go back

The air that we breath
Without it we wouldn't live

The water in our throats
Life giver, life saver

The fire in our eyes
In our bones to keep us warm

You make me happy,

you make me better,

you make me feel all the things,

especially the good tingly ones,

you make me.

I run from you to escape
the possibility that you might
run from me.
You swear you won't
but you should
So I run anyway

I can't get it out of my head
I think it's my fault
No one person can be this wrong
All of the time

The calls
unreturned
Messages in the morning
unreplied by evening
I love you has never sounded so strange;
so forced

Yet in all of this
Why is sorry
The only thing you can say to me

Woke up without my memories/thoughts dispersed, I'm scared/agitated

Woke up with you by my side/didn't know twas you

Didn't know twas true how I dreamt of having you there/but now I barely even know myself

Those who remember it thought we were perfect

Lost in my memories/lost without them I'm still

Not sure what to do/I should be lost without the love they claim we have, we had/but I don't remember, I may as well be dead, reborn, undead

Those who remember it thought it too good, unreal

And now my nightmare's caught up with me/I feel like I woke up in my bad dream, still dreaming I wake up how I slept

How could I forget a life so dreamy they say/I must have been playing hide not seek in my head, and now I can't figure out where my memories at

Yet I'm sure someplace within my mind, if it's any consolation/I'll always love you, even if I never remember

And maybe one day, maybe never, I will remember/and when such a day comes or not, please remind me never to forget again

My fatal fetallity

Note to self - never wake up

Met her a fortnight ago
Miss tall-light-skinned-real-brown-eyes-with-the-perfect-smile
To my Mister-egotistical-too-weirdly-damaged-for-you facade

Hit it off from the onset; really could've sworn twas all a script if I wasn't such a horrible actor.
Usually a glass-empty kinda guy; but you've got me half full; I'm opti-pessi-mistic
Nah. I'm just half-crazy, half-weird
With you being the crazy; you are a part of what I've become

You've got us falling so hard, we flying
A true beauty, but I promise I'm a beast in the making
For now though, I'm soaring beyond the usual clouds of nines and highs, and it's just so incredible
Cos, what is beauty without the attitude; Perfection

Note to self - Never wake up.

I'm jealous
Of everything associated
With you
That isn't me.
Like how the sun kisses you each morning
And I haven't even kissed you once
How the wind caresses your skin
Your hair dancing in careless rhythm
How do I have you all to myself?

Pictures of us on my wall
Remind me that you're gone
So, I take them down to burn
Now the empty Walls won't let me be
Now, they remind me of a time you were in
The picture on the wall and my future
And that I'm still stuck chasing
The shadow of your ghost.

It doesn't take a push to fall
When you've found an excuse
A reason to stumble

Just A Typical Night
Going through pictures of you
Still so beautiful
As always you are
But beauty isn't enough glue
To hold two
Together that weren't meant
To be

I remember when it all started
The unlikely couple of the year
Can't forget the day you said yes
And meant it
Under your umbrella
and the rain was unrelenting
Even as I tagged that rain
As a sign
for bringing us together
that night
Maybe the night was weeping
For our future that never would be

I remain thankful
For the good times
You made those happen
And
I'm sorry about the bad times
That was all me

We are the same
But different
Made up of the same parts
Yet unique
In our different pieces
And when we crumble
We crumble differently

You see?
There's something about women
I've seen water
Hard and soft, tasteless and with taste
Still can't do without water

They are like water.
Hard and soft
Sometimes blue and feeling it
Beautiful, with ripples of anger and laughter
Making up Most of the earth

And We definitely can't do without them.

The first day we met
Your bright smile
Made me want to say
All the cheesy things
Like
Hi Summer
I'm autumn
And I'm coming after you

Let me hold you

                        Till I can't breathe again

           Till your soul lets me in

                        One soul for another.

Don't pray for me mother
I'm already lost,
What good will that be

Don't cry for me mother
I already lost
What's good that I had left

Don't think of me mother
I've already lost
What life I had left

But dream of me mother

Just as I dream of you

You get me
But maybe that also means
You know just where
It hurts the most
And so you keep stabbing at it

Broken vases, broken glasses
The only thing that isn't shattered
Is my mind and it's lit
Up in flames, smoked; in hades
No shades, no streams
Of what my life could possibly be
If you didn't opt and leave
This world; no joy, remains
Of peace, of mind, with you
I was incomplete and just perfect.

I've always felt that time existed
In minutes of illusion
And in pocketful of moments
Moments we wish didn't turn into memories

I've always thought that I could
Live without anybody and so
Stuck within the space between my heart
And my head I reject everything
That looks like or sounds like the L-word
But here's the thing
I haven't yet still gotten over our time spent
Recycling time into seconds of memories
It wasn't an illusion but our memories
They seem like they are; we were
Two people broken and all over the place
But with each other found perfection
In being broken and the beauty in fallen pieces
We fit,
Yet we split
And even though now time
is back to being an illusion  
I can't seem to tick my way back to you.

How ironic
... That at night, my dreams keep me awake.

Baby
Your fears are valid
I acknowledge them
But they hurt me still
I know he hurt your mom
So now you
Take it all out on me
That because he left
You think me already gone
But I hope that one day
I can get through to you
That
You are not your mother
And
I am not your father.

Everyone thinks

I have the perfect smile

But no one stops

To check

If it's real

So it must be true

Crooked Smiles

Tell it all.

Do you know how confounded i get
when i hear you say,
Get out of your comfort zone.
As if Comfort zones weren't meant for comforts, so why would I leave them?
Why should I open up my mind to love and it's complications? Why do I have to?
You persist and insist; you say "what are rules if not to be broken"
To which I reply "why make rules only to break them"
We will never agree not even to disagree
Until the day that I fall in love
And you finally get to say
I told you so
I hope I don't get my heart broken and have to say the same to you.

The loud chatter
Amidst the silence
The pounding of my heart
The whispering of the wind
The charade of my thoughts
The rustling of the leaves
All bubbling in dilemma

Been down this road before
The spectra of light
The magnificent ambience it creates
Piercing through the depths
To the core of chambray
Now filled with thorns of distaste
Glooming with total darkness
Gnawing at the standing hairs on my skin
I squeak at the emergence of my shadow
The horror holds no bounds

The piercing cries of my pain
In the distance
Screaming for mercy
I still hear
My heart bleeds profusely
Into the crepes of my soul
No
I can’t go back  
A River of tears
Flowing Past the bridge
Forming tributaries along its course
I have to let go

I got to set them free
Erase the blemishes of my sorrow;
The horror of the nights

I got to face the darkness
The fear of the unknown
Choking me to misery
With my shield made of thorns
This is the only way
Running through the storm
With the speed of the light within
Towards the edge of glory
That’s the only way
To be free from the cages
Holding me down

What does it feel like to be brokenhearted
A question for an answer I've never sought
Til' that night at your place for dinner
When you said it was over for real this time

The heart does need time to break
Endless nights of wondering
If this was meant to be, but hoping
Love's a conqueror when it's for real

I loved you, but what about me
That's why I will never get over
The way my stomach felt As I stood up to leave, The process didn't start tonight

I couldn't breathe; the back of my eyes were burning and I couldn't help but scream; nor would I ever know if it was deep inside or vocal
as my heart drowned in the sea of its tears as blood

What does it feel like to be brokenhearted; I won't say that I know still
As though the pain might let up; but the scars, they never go away

Now I just wonder, if she felt the same or worse
The she that I hurt before there wasn't you
Even as I drown in the sea of my own Karma

Please help with an answer...


... What does it mean for us
If my fear of losing her
Is more than my love for her?

14
And all I could think about
Were names and their invention
And application
Who told y'all about male
And female names
And why we always have
To complicate even the little things
Like meet my girlfriend
James; and my brother
Elsie; but humans
Forever stereotyping
Till we are six-feet no more

She was survived by a husband
two kids and a dog
Yes she lived with an animal
Check the first line for some clue

She was survived by her friends
Some who she lost
When she wouldn't go
And her family
Who made her stay
So that people don't say

She was survived by her Instagram page
And her pictures of a perfect home
Like things were so goal
And her pride never let her go

Here she lies in wait
But all she had to do was leave.

You are the perfect filter

For my life's picture

You are the reason I wake up

Beautiful;

You are.

Discover within yourself
The whole truth.
Because truth be told,
That half truth
Is nothing but a lie too

Sometimes I want
To be a Sheep;
Spend all day eating
And sleeping –
And "oh but they die"
Isn't a great retort
If you aren't immortal

Not sure who you've become or who
You claim to be
Stuck between your shadows
And your unraveling
Begging to be seen by all but
Yourself, life couldn't have been better
Looking in from outside.
Dressed in irony and brass hope
Crowning yourself with filters
Uncrowning your endowments for all to see
Steadily wishing away that part of you
That everyone sees but you
Your heart is all I'll long for
All I'll be looking to spend the eter' with.

One of the wildest things
About my latest heartbreak
Is the fact
That she chose
a failing marriage
Over me

One of the most consistent lessons
I've learnt
With life and living is that
There are a couple
More things that are
As certain
As constant
As change;

The sun will always come up
And people will always let you down

I want a house with walls, two windows and a door
Says the child who never lived in one before

I want to know what red feels like
Says the child who was born blind

I want to know what clean water tastes like
Says the child who has lived in drought

I just want a home, some food, water and some color
But another name for the universe is chaos
And we are expected to be content
Afterall, all it ever promised us, was life
And even that is never guaranteed.

I needed you

I never knew it too

But

Water's only sweet

When you're Thirsty too

Lost in sight; lost insight

Dust in sight; lost my sight

Life's serving aces

But the gods are overturning

Stuck standing in the middle

A trapdoor is the floor

Falling and falling

Got me thinking I was flying

More crows than doves

Picking on my many demons

Lone Angel; The only blight in all of the dark

Within

Overwhelmed