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1d · 12
Just how long
Did it take you to learn the reality
The sky doesn't turn black
The sun doesn't stop giving light
And it's you that's moving
Around the equator of life
It's just how nature will have it
Does that make it more acceptable?

As we travel the path of life
Dawn is assured
No matter how long
The dark of the night lingers
And no one person
Is a monopoly of
Good and bad days
It's just how nature will have it
I hate it here, she started
I hate it everywhere
I'd like to seize
To exist as a human - as if
We were ever given that option
I think to myself - I'd rather be
The clouds or the wind
She continues

Wind. I interject
I like the wind
Moving as I wish
Never a dull moment
Throwing down a few silly kids
Who don't give a **** anyway;
I add for comic relief.
I'd never imagine you as the wind
I say,
Why not? Ash asks - making a playful face - Well,
You look like you can handle your storms
and sunny days
Never the kind to be bothered

Haha, Ash laughs
I think the clouds have
A magical wonder to them
Sitting pretty
Chilling all day
Only stressed when it rains or thunderstorms
And still come out even prettier
When it all passes
But you, you will definitely pass for the wind.
Oct 18 · 32
Ugo Victor Oct 18
At night
I dread the empty space
On my bed
That you left
But Dawn
Comes with a reminder
Of the dread
That your existence
Oct 1 · 64
Don't Go
Ugo Victor Oct 1
I used to wake up sweating
On cold winter nights
From nightmares
Of demons past
Then you came
And my dreams returned
Of flowers and beautiful endings
You promised they would last
Then you left
And I fell apart
In a sea of questions
How did My saving grace
Become my sleepless nights?
How can you take away my nightmare
And replace it with another?
Sep 29 · 24
More than words
Ugo Victor Sep 29
My grandma
Always had a way
with words
She once said to me
Don't go proving love
With words
It is not a thing that's hidden
It is clear as day.
Love may be blind
But you aren't
And neither is she.
Sep 28 · 454
Forever is a moment
Ugo Victor Sep 28
... And when
They promise you forever
Don't overthink it.

Forever is a second,
an hour and a day.

Forever is until it ends.


Cherish every moment.
Sep 25 · 45
Ugo Victor Sep 25
I've never claimed
To be the kind of strong-
Who stands
In the face of someone
That has caused them pain
And asks, why?
Why do I hurt?
And why are you the source?
Closure will always be a complicated subject for me.
Sep 25 · 363
Ugo Victor Sep 25
Spent a lot of time at Dawn
staring at the mirror.
Sometimes that's all it takes
to attain self recognition,
at least enough to whisper to myself -
You are enough.
Broken, but enough still.
And so I say it
over and again
Until I begin to believe it too
Sep 21 · 52
Replace it
Ugo Victor Sep 21
Ever had
The kind of heartbreak
That makes you
Say a prayer
Dear God,
Stop my heart
Or replace it?
Sep 21 · 317
Ugo Victor Sep 21
As well watered soil
Is to growing plants
A broken heart
Is the perfect condition
For the best
Of my poetry.
Sep 21 · 54
Love, forever
Ugo Victor Sep 21
Love is a fickle thing
Forever is a myth
Love, forever
Is a promise birthed
To die
Sep 21 · 151
Ugo Victor Sep 21
There a couple of things
I'm torn about
And they hark on my senses
Like, all the time
Even now as I write

I'm allowed to fail
I am
And bad days are normal
They are

These aren't excuses
Not to try to succeed
They are facts
That we constantly have
To contend with

It's the sort of thing I need
On my bedroom wall
That to fail is normal
And bad days are allowed
Sep 20 · 28
Ugo Victor Sep 20
If you hear me speak of home,
It is of a place small and tidy:
A desk of half-a-dozen half-read books,
Of neutral colored sheets and cottons,
Of a barely drunk can of water,
Just beside empty cans of cider
Of a mostly empty bed,
My PlayStation and my workstation
A place where my comfort
Is not up for negotiation
Aug 22 · 82
Ugo Victor Aug 22
Everyone talks about
Love and its effects on them
For some, love has made blind
For others, it's the euphoria
For me, it's something unusual
It's made me eat more
And not in the stress eating kind of way
Loving you triggers my hunger hormones
But it's not just the food I want to eat
Ugo Victor Aug 10
On some days
You make me
Ever loving you

Every other day
It becomes clearer
That losing you
Would be my biggest

I know which one
I can live with
Aug 5 · 142
Love is loud
Ugo Victor Aug 5
Years and years
Of living
Through the many
Versions of love
Has taught me
That, Love,
If true,
Is light
And no one
That has it to give
Hides it under a bushel
Left to the imagination
Of the one
It was meant for

That love, is loud
It was created
To be seen,
As much as it is felt.
Aug 3 · 1.2k
Love is simple
Ugo Victor Aug 3
It's taken me years
Of writing and reading,
Giving and receiving,
To realise;
Love is simple
It's humans
That are complicated
Jul 26 · 58
I hate you, I miss you
Ugo Victor Jul 26
In this moment
I hate you
So much
Yet why
Do I miss you
So much more?
Jul 26 · 44
Love is a Verb
Ugo Victor Jul 26
Love is a verb
More than just
A thought
Best seen
In every day actions
Not in the gestures
Far and few between
A feeling
Best shown
Than said
No matter how much
Someone tells you
They love you
What do their actions say?
Jul 25 · 116
I surrender
Ugo Victor Jul 25
and all things face and pale
and places they have no business breeding
but no ones chasing
but the joke was missing
yet I'm blind, I wasn't even looking.

Makes me feel and see
The things that aren't there
And amplifies
the things that are

And I absolutely surrender
to it's utter violence.
Jul 24 · 44
Loss made me do it
Ugo Victor Jul 24
Don't invest
Don't invest
Like a pendulum
Why do we lose people
We have given everything for
Not going to happen again
I'm done giving value
To people
who only value themselves
My heart's dressed
In black, I imagine
Mourning all the time spent
Giving away much of me
To someone who would one day say,
thank you, but I didn't ask you to
That there's nothing abnormal about people leaving
It's when they stay
That's a miracle
People leave, people always leave
And those left behind
Are left to pick up the pieces
Of lessons learnt
Hearts, buried in Ice
A Normal response
To a normal life event
A growth process even

Never to invest, ever again
Loss made me do it
Loss made me this way
Ugo Victor Jul 21
I love you
And so
I miss you
But you?
You only love me
When you miss me
Jul 15 · 119
Rhythm to Life
Ugo Victor Jul 15
Music is my life map
to the past
and the future.

A song comes on,
its rhythm
taking me back
to several moments
and memories,
some; I wish gone,
most; I want to relive.

Another comes on
Filling me
with dreams
of the future,
I wish to make;
the things,
I hope to feel.

A rhythmic reminder
to live;
Life itself
Jul 12 · 105
Time has no friends
Ugo Victor Jul 12
Everyone says
Is on my side
And will heal my wounds.
No one bothers to say,
Has no face
And no friends
But denial and regret;
The faces I see on each shoulder
Everytime I look
In the mirror
Ugo Victor Jul 6
You know
Love is a crazy thing
Each time I'm roped in
I become a better version of myself
I've only been in love 3 times
The first taught me empathy
A deeper kind of feeling
An Understanding of oneself beyond pity
The second taught me patience
Not the enduring kind
But the type
that has made me who I am today
But with you
I've learnt to love myself
A feeling I thought of
as an inbuilt transient sensation
And one I now find most important
You see
It's saved my life countless times

I don't plan on falling
For someone different everytime
Just so I can learn
I just need to
keep on finding ways
To fall in love with you
Over and again

Who knows what else I will find
Jul 4 · 40
Love is Enough
Ugo Victor Jul 4
I had a really bad argument
with my other half today
And in the middle if it
she said,
I hope
"I know we love each other,
but love is not enough"

A statement which I found so strange

"Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy,
it does not boast,
it is not proud.
It is not rude,
it is not self-seeking,
it is not easily angered,
it keeps no record of wrongs."

Love is anything but not enough

Even the Holy book agrees
Jun 14 · 77
Dark Clouds
Ugo Victor Jun 14
When I was a child
I saw dark clouds gathering
For the first time in my life
On a hot afternoon
Shielding me
From the sun's unforgiving heat
I thought it so beautiful
And a miracle
Even though seconds later
The rains came
And the thunder too

Now an adult
The only dark cloud I see
Is you
A miracle even
But with as much rain
maybe; even more thunder
Jun 9 · 54
How Long
Ugo Victor Jun 9
How long did it take
For you to realise
The only demons
That were real
Were the ones
Within you.
Jun 8 · 35
Ghost of pains past
Ugo Victor Jun 8
I've never claimed
to be the kind of strong-
Who stands
in the face of someone
That has caused them pain
And asks, why?
Why do I hurt?
And why are you the source?

All my life,
I've only known
how to withdraw from pain
Like hand to fire
but not scorched
But hopefully not for long
And that's why I disappear
Found this in my diary from my first experience of ghosting someone at 17.
Ugo Victor May 12
Smiles exist in spectrums

Take for example
The loving smile of my baby girl
as she babbles beautifully
in gibber, ish

The knowing smile of my gran
as she speaks
in nods, ish

The former
because she's not seen anything yet
The Latter
because she's seen everything there is
May 12 · 44
To Love is to die
Ugo Victor May 12
When I was younger I thought
Love is like dying
The kind of feeling
That had me without control
Of what comes next

And so I let myself
fall for you
And others after you
Six feet and more

The best kind they say
is when you fall
Same depth
Common in our uncertainty
But is that ever the case?

No one tells you these things
But if experience is to go by
Each time
You resurrect
It's Less of who you were
And more
Of who you think
You should be

Less vulnerable
But wanting more of another
To complete
what's left of you

Love isn't death
I've learnt
Now a zombie
Still falling
But enough to stand again
Until I can stand no more
May 12 · 56
The only wish
Ugo Victor May 12

May 12 · 33
Ruminations at 5
Ugo Victor May 12
I spend
the greater part
of my sleepless nights
wondering why I persist
in trails
that promise me pain
and give up
at the slightest shove
on the road
to pleasurable experiences
May 12 · 61
I miss writing poems
Ugo Victor May 12
I miss writing poems
Painting pictures with my words
Condensing my whole page
of lives lived,
failed love trysts,
into sentences;

Pay witness
To memories rising
From words on a page
May 12 · 41
Same Page
Ugo Victor May 12
If this phase of life
Was a chapter in a book
You would have heard me say
That we aren't on the same page
But could you leave markings as you flip
So I can find my way to you?
May 12 · 48
My mum can fly
Ugo Victor May 12
I can fly
I can fly
Said little V
Arms spread apart
Mimicking a bird
As he stood on the railing
Just a light wind blast
From a fatal fall.

That day,
we established
that one of us could fly,
and it wasn't V
A mother's day shout
May 12 · 36
Ugo Victor May 12
That's the number
of bottles it takes
For me to remember
I hate just how you taste
That's how many
seconds it takes
for me to forget
And reach out for you
Never once
Stopping to think
"You are bad for me"
A tribute to the beauty in a bottle that's kept us all going in these very difficult times
Apr 5 · 67
Ugo Victor Apr 5
How my life has gone
From hating mondays
To not knowing what day is monday
Hating everyday
Because now
They all look the same
Feb 21 · 77
Not Alone
Ugo Victor Feb 21
It's okay
To be afraid of the dark.

And when I say
you are not alone
Don't worry,
it's not because of the demons
that may abound;
You just aren't alone in your fear
of the shadows
that hide behind the sun
as it sets.
Jan 18 · 28
Ugo Victor Jan 18
I've always been afraid I wouldn't see 30. It felt like a long trek to a promise, even though for much of it I felt lost, struggled, made mistakes, Continuously tried to take my life, and caused others pain and scars in the process.

I've always looked forward to 30. It felt like a time for me to stop and take stock of my journey in life; A time for me to look forward and forgive, and hope to be forgiven too. A moment of accountability to tick off all the goals I've reached and set new ones.

Far from perfect, I'm not even trying to be. Not fulfilled, not even close to it. But that's the thing about growth isn't it? It's a continuous process and the greatest gift to myself with this new year is to acknowledge that and keep going, keep learning and keep growing.
PS: it's my birthday today (19/01) and this is just a self tribute.
Jan 5 · 132
Ugo Victor Jan 5
The baricades on these bridges look so much shorter today
Jump maybe?
And the cars are going fast enough too
Jump don't you think?
The train station is empty
Surely you gotta jump?
It's the 6th floor and there's no one home
No, for real jump?
How scary is it to hear voices when no one's talking?
And when all they say is jump?
Ugo Victor Dec 2019
If I had to say something if I heard you were dead...
I would say...

I knew him... I think.
I'll like to think he was my friend.
The first day we met, I would never had guessed he was the founder of MANI - (I was having a ****** day and the hug he offered was needed and appreciated)

He was the kind of person I was afraid of talking to... Lol
Let me explain.
He was the kind of person that struck me as someone who you shouldnt talk to if you're not sure of what to say or made your research... And I'm the kind that will probably rather not say anything at all.

He was kind, and responsible and even with a lot of responsibilities, he was still very human... And that, that part, I really admired. I kinda always wanted to know if he was alright, it all seemed a lot for one person.

He founded MANI, and that organization changed my life in many ways than one and I'll always be grateful to him.

He inspired me in so many wierd ways and I'm glad that in my lifetime, I met such an amazing soul.

I'll miss him!

Have I mentioned his sarcasm.

He was a good one.
I once asked people what they would say if they heard I was dead, and this was one of the responses. Now, I've never felt like dying more.
Dec 2019 · 206
Nights, in my head
Ugo Victor Dec 2019
The majority of nights,
I spend on my bed,
and in my head.
Sleep then becomes
a luxury I can't afford,
even though I've worked all year.
Dec 2019 · 157
Eyes like the ocean
Ugo Victor Dec 2019
Your eyes are like the ocean
On a sunny day at the beach;
I'm drawn to them
But just close enough
So I don't drown in them
Nov 2019 · 87
Honeymoon Phase
Ugo Victor Nov 2019
The rain sounds nice doesn't it?
And all the usually pointless things
That begin to make sense
When I'm with you
Ugo Victor Nov 2019
I can't get it out of my head
I think it's my fault
No one person can be this wrong
All of the time

The calls
Messages in the morning
unreplied by evening
I love you has never sounded so strange;
so forced

Yet in all of this
Why is sorry
The only thing you can say to me
Aug 2019 · 100
Colour View
Ugo Victor Aug 2019
Colour view;
Only just
Found out how much
This sounds like
I love you
It's convenient isn't it
For our forbidden kind of love
That we find other ways to say
I love you

Colour view too
Mouthed and air kissed to you
For all the times you feel guilty
For loving me
But deep in love
too much with me
That you can't help
But try to say it
I get it
At least it reads like
I love you

Colour view always
It doesn't matter to me
Or you, how we say it
When you are in love
The only thing that matters
Is that the other person
Knows it too
of how it's said.

Colour view forever.
Aug 2019 · 290
Ugo Victor Aug 2019
For the first time
In a long time
I looked at the mirror
And saw myself
Or a reflection
Of what's left of my shadow
And I realized
Life is a soundless song
And I have forgotten
How to dance
To its tune
Jul 2019 · 229
Ugo Victor Jul 2019
One of the wildest things
About my latest heartbreak
Is the fact
That she chose
a failing marriage
Over me
Jul 2019 · 88
Lost songs
Ugo Victor Jul 2019
I think
That the least talked about
Thing about heartbreaks
But one of the most painful
Are all the songs lost in the process
Because they bring back
Memories best left
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