F Unting Charlie Kilo: Favorites

Arlo Disarray

i don’t always know
if it’s worth the fight
what is wrong
or right?
should i open my eyes
in the morning
or
do i continue the night?

i don’t want to know myself
as well as i do
and there is still so much
that i hide from
but what i know to be true
is awful
and there is nowhere to run
but further inward

which is becoming harder
and harder
to achieve

because
you see,
there are so many masks
layered on top
of me
keeping my eyes covered
and causing blindness
to what really needs
to be seen

but admitting
that you’re afraid
of yourself
is stupid
and who am i
to stand between
me
and myself
and all the
crazy things
that
i dream

#depression #anxiety

4d F Unting Charlie Kilo

Childhood

4d F Unting Charlie Kilo

preston

Childhood

Sparkles and stars,
there is a brilliance in the sky
and a darkness, all around it

Child of wonder
child of Light
Oh my Lord, child

Please hold on tight

The worst of monsters
come out at night
A wingless child

Cannot take flight

Wonder, young child
Let the Light  in you
emit from your wild

Chasing all you have known
that causes  such fright

A grass covered field
A rolling, green hill
On your back,  you look up

To a sky, brilliant blue

Until the blue  I see
becomes the vastest  of oceans
now, below me

On a windless, cloudless day

Wonder, young child
And watch all the monsters
float away

I looked up at the tallest building
Felt it falling down
I could feel my balance shifting
Everything was moving around
These streets so fixed and solid
All shimmering haze

And everything that I relied on
disappeared

Downside up, upside down
Take my weight from the ground
Falling deep in the sky
Slipping in the unknown

All the strangers look like family
All the family looks so strange
The only constant I am sure of
Is this accelerating rate of change

Downside up, upside down
Take my weight off the ground
Falling deep in the sky
Slipping into the unknown

I stand here
Watch you spinning
Until I am drawn in
A centripetal force
You pull me in

Pull me in

https://youtu.be/WZ2hY6Fetw0?si=WvZY6UMU_-MxApkX

ovo xo

#love #childhoodtrauma #magic #joy #peace #light #dark #beauty #eternity

6d F Unting Charlie Kilo

yinyang

6d F Unting Charlie Kilo

Arlo Disarray

yinyang

i’ve struggled
with my mental health
for my entire life
and i realize
that i can
either be
really fun
and happy

or
really miserable
and it can be difficult
to know
how to interact with me

that pushes
a lot of
people away

i’m like a yinyang
of Eeyore
and Tigger
that spins
randomly
and you never know
what
you’re gonna get

#yinyang #depression #anxiety #disney #mentalillness

7d F Unting Charlie Kilo

Once upon A moment

7d F Unting Charlie Kilo

Josh

Once upon A moment

Your words
Stick like dried glue
Held in my head,
I felt your hands without ever touching them

I miss the vision of what those words
Led me to believe
About you,
And the way your eyes matched with forest green

We talked briefly,
But a lifetime was told
Like an infinite book written with no pages

Your words stay as a reminder, though
Of the notes between the lines
Encased in a deep well within,
Where the water permeates my soul
And never dissolves the feeling shared in that moment

7d F Unting Charlie Kilo

Meant to be

7d F Unting Charlie Kilo

Josh

Meant to be

We'll never know each other
In touch, nor in thought
Our words won't reach
To greet our ears

When the night begs for company,
And lonely is our bond
Our eyes won't lead us to link

We won't hear,
But our soul's will whine and yearn,
When we think of things that can't be

When the unknown is as vast as the infinite,
Yet circumstance writes lines to a script

We won't know what it's like,
But in a different life perhaps,
As time records,
Etching it's marks upon our faces

Perhaps, we'd laugh,
Maybe we'd love,
We'll never know
Estranged,
As if having once met

7d F Unting Charlie Kilo

The Swing and the Tree

7d F Unting Charlie Kilo

Josh

The Swing and the Tree

An empty swing hangs from a tree
Drifting in airs varying touch
Vacant in his mind,
Where light shines upon the grass,
Stretching and leading
While shadows kiss the base of it's warm bark
This tree has a memory,
As the swing longs in its drift

This place
Where she used to reside,
Radiating magic and captivating flowers,
Remains dormant

The swing longs,
The tree mourns
The light, slightly dimmed and muddled

While remnants of her enchantment
Leave the scent of life and beauty embedded in every space
Her words once touched

May 30 F Unting Charlie Kilo

growth happens slowly

May 30 F Unting Charlie Kilo

Arlo Disarray

growth happens slowly

each new day
is an opportunity
to do better
than the day before

challenge accepted

growth happens slowly
but i will cherish
each and every
new piece of myself
that i may
finally take the time
to know

#growth #change #sobriety

May 29 F Unting Charlie Kilo

intact

May 29 F Unting Charlie Kilo

jolly

intact

if i had endless time to spend
i would seldom spend it with you
i'd spend most of it thinking about you, and how good it feels
to not be wasting your time
i'd do nothing but talk about you to anyone who would listen, and listen to songs that commemorate
sparse moments where i felt perfectly secure
those moments where i walked out of your home
knowing that i broke nothing you owned,
and felt good about the words that i chose
to so carefully avoid the smallest of cracks
and keep our love intact

because every second spent with you is another chance you might see how worthless i am
and i dread every minute that i am caught
in your perfection