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There is a missing boy
I knew him years ago
His picture drenches the socials
His family pleads

It's been about a fortnight
His story on the news
Disappeared under suspicious circumstances
Search parties gather

His ID, found along the highway
The apartment showed signs of struggle
His pictures plaster
This boy is loved

1 person of interest, at large
1 ex in custody, questioned
Watching from the shadows
I'm largely unaffected
vaguely sad

Until this morning
Lost boy

You walked down the bookstore aisle
Behind your Aunt
From the history section to YA
Leaning on crutches and grinning warmth
You were younger, the boy I recall

We embraced, I told you how glad I was you were safe, you were home
Rejoice
I can tell the immediate world to call off the search
So much relief I felt, all was well again on this crazy planet

...then I woke up.

I long to tell your sister, your mom, all your friends, the countless volunteers who have shared photos, posts, walked the streets & forests
Searching for you

About the way my dreams come true
Not all
But certain ones are somehow realer than reality itself
A premonition
You come home

But in the twilight mists between wake and slumber
I keep these thoughts to myself
No happy alarm bells ring out
Because my sight is only Astral
Fleeting
A glimpse of other worlds I inhabit
Briefly, before I'm torn back

I don't tell a soul about my good symbolic omen of the missing boy


Because I know that sometimes
in my dreams
I also walk
with the dead
#whereisRy
Amber Silas Jun 14
Walked down the road to Weird tonight
Haven't been there in a while
A wired jaw smiles not
Now my bones are in a pile
Amber Silas Jun 14
I used to hold myself this same way
Wound tight Fibonacci shell
Frozen cold in the flames of my self given hell
Grip the blankets, ask for comfort
Plead for warmth
The same tape inserted in the slot
But maybe the player has changed
Worn out story
Thoughts repeat, lose some of their beauty
I won't dream of endless yous and mes and theys
Loosen the muscles, glow higher
Tonight I'll dream of that cathedral again
Endless, colors we're not meant to see, no roof to limit
Beautiful, yet a better word
Amber Silas Feb 20
It's never just hives
It's the way he doesn't look at you anymore
It's the crushing weight of always covering the shift
And losing your religion
Losing your humanity
Your neck, right above the thin ACDF scar,
Splotches of angry crimson
Pay no mind
This will pass your usual, painful way
Slow as time
till the lessons burst through
Cursed with color, and too much flaming self-reflection
Not enough benydrl for all this
It's the figuring it all out as you go
till it explodes without you
Come back, I say.

Live this life or better days

It's never just hives
Amber Silas Apr 2022
Too thristy to sip
Too tired to sleep
You know well that feeling
When your physical is finite
But the soul's in too deep
Carpe Noctem
We are lottery winners,
alive here and now with
choices and voices inside
fences of our own making.
We live in paragraphs and
chapters until the ending.
Amber Silas Apr 2022
There he was
in all his loner glory
as we drove down through the mountains
South towards L.A.

The heron isn't solid and stable
like these ancient arching stones
He, of course, reminded me of you
Full on airy dreams, other places to be

And just like you
He'd soon spread those
fine feathered wings
and be gone on his way
Peace to you, lost one
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