Dear 12 am,
Stop
My heart is suffering daily
Because of your daily reminder
of how things are messed up
my life is messed up
my thoughts are messed up
my moods are messed up
my home is messed up
and my heart
my heart is dead and scattered in pieces
I’m tired
and I can’t do life anymore
I’m tired of being too sad
I’m tired of having such a heavy dead heart
I’m tired

I gave you my heart

my love
my excitements
my fears
my pains
and my trust..

We are apart

but
you still own me.

I always imagined my future
with you
always imagined myself ending up
with you
always imagined my birthdays
with you
always imagined my travelings
with you
always imagined you in my graduation being so proud of me
always imagined us celebrating my
first job
and how proud you would be
always imagined you asking me to be your fiancé
with your sparkly brown eyes on your knees
always imagined us fighting over where to spend our honeymoon and dates
I would probably go to where you want to be
because I have a soft heart
only with you
always imagined our baby
little, chubby, and a mix of the best of you and me
always imagined you as a dad and my husband and my cozy home everyday
but that is all what u left when u left me..
You left me with my silly imagination and a never ending dream..

When did I stop trusting you?
I didn't even notice it.
When did I stop listening,
start thinking you were full of it?

Convinced I'd heard it all before,
read all the writing on the wall.
I'd smile, and nod, then close the door.
I won't believe you anymore.

Why did I stop trusting you?
I never even wanted to.
The sky, it just turned inside out
when I first lent my ear to doubt.