Hi again
I hate you now
for all the days u made me cry
I hate you
for causing such a toxic vibe
and making me feel like a total lie
I hate you now
for the tears that crossed my face
begging you to dry them out
but you just replied
get your **** together now
I knew it was over when u didn’t hug my tears away
when u didn’t care about my tears
anymore
when you got sick of me being always sad
As if I can control that
As if my depression was something I chose
As if I chose to be that sad
As if it was something I can control
I hate you now
and I’m stronger now
I got up on my own
I dried my tears on my own
I saved myself
and you weren’t there to help me survive
but I survived
and I hate you now.

Dear 12 am,
Stop
My heart is suffering daily
Because of your daily reminder
of how things are messed up
my life is messed up
my thoughts are messed up
my moods are messed up
my home is messed up
and my heart
my heart is dead and scattered in pieces
I’m tired
and I can’t do life anymore
I’m tired of being too sad
I’m tired of having such a heavy dead heart
I’m tired

Dear comfort zone,
**** you
**** you comfort zone
**** you for being so warm
**** you for holding the pain
**** you for being the pain
**** you for being so safe
**** you for sewing the days
**** you for scratching the pain
**** you for causing the pain
**** you for not pushing me away
**** you for being here everyday
**** you.

I blame you
I blame you for ruining all my relationships
Because I was always scared of ending up with a persona like you
I run away when I feel you in the person I’m loving
I ruin love
Because you taught me that love is just another word for pain
Love is just an excuse for abuse
Love is another word for getting doomed
dad I sincerely apologize but I will never forgive you.
and p.s I don’t like you

I woke up wanting you back
I woke up ready to do anything
to have you back
I woke up wanting you to be mine again
I woke up wishing you would have
stayed
you used to hug my sadness away
you used to carry my anxiety away
you used to tame my depression everyday
why did you leave?
was it necessary all that pain
do you feel sad too?
do u wake up everyday feeling empty too?
do you miss me?
do you miss my goofy self around you?
i miss you and I can’t deny

Please love me
like you used to
Please hold me
like before
Please
I miss you
I miss having the
warm you
Now
now you only make me
feel so sad
I only feel pain with you now.

Hi
Been a while
since
we cut each-other off
I miss you
I keep trying to forget
you
I keep trying to stop loving
you
I keep trying to convince myself that its over
I love you more than before
and I know you probably stopped
loving me
I see you with other girls  
I hope you are happy now
I hope you are happy that you are back to your old life
No more drama aya
No more crying aya
No more overly clingy aya
No more aya’s suffocative hugs
No more unstoppable I love you F.
No more messy hair and talks
Why would you miss all that right?
when you could just start fresh with someone new, I miss you, and if you do too then tell me, please.

Your hug
Your eyes
Your smile
Your laugh
Your grumpy face when u are mad
your everything
I miss you already
But
I had to leave
I had to leave
And I hope
one day you realize
What u did to me

Is your heart okay?
Do you still crumble
When u sway?
Do u still cry
When it rains?
Do u still wish
you were dead?

Or

Did that change
Do u feel
Free?
Okay?
Fine at least?
Ja

****
You are okay.

When I lost you
I lost a part of my soul
you broke something  

You fixed me and then
you shattered me.

I gave you my heart

my love
my excitements
my fears
my pains
and my trust..

We are apart

but
you still own me.

Dear you,
stop
Stop making your lover
feel bad about herself
stop making your lover
feel like she is not enough
and stop making your lover suffer because
you can’t relate to how she feels when you flirt with another and throw admiration glances to others
you make her feel so low
She wishes she could be prettier
Just so she could be enough
for YOU
She wishes she could have a better body and skin
Just to be enough
for you
She wishes she could be less disturbed
Just so you would stop taking breaks from her
She wishes she had a lot more things
To be enough  
For you
But you don’t care don’t you?

I always imagined my future
with you
always imagined myself ending up
with you
always imagined my birthdays
with you
always imagined my travelings
with you
always imagined you in my graduation being so proud of me
always imagined us celebrating my
first job
and how proud you would be
always imagined you asking me to be your fiancé
with your sparkly brown eyes on your knees
always imagined us fighting over where to spend our honeymoon and dates
I would probably go to where you want to be
because I have a soft heart
only with you
always imagined our baby
little, chubby, and a mix of the best of you and me
always imagined you as a dad and my husband and my cozy home everyday
but that is all what u left when u left me..
You left me with my silly imagination and a never ending dream..

I‘m emotionally
walking
away
from you.
You have stupidly
taken me
for granted, and I tried my best
to keep you
I crushed my ego to keep you
I..
I trusted you, and you ruined that.
I trusted you
thats just in the past now

You keep breaking me

and I keep forgiving you

You keep hurting me

and I keep holding you