Is your heart okay?
Do you still crumble
When u sway?
Do u still cry
When it rains?
Do u still wish
you were dead?

Or

Did that change
Do u feel
Free?
Okay?
Fine at least?
Ja

****
You are okay.

Hi again
I hate you now
for all the days u made me cry
I hate you
for causing such a toxic vibe
and making me feel like a total lie
I hate you now
for the tears that crossed my face
begging you to dry them out
but you just replied
get your **** together now
I knew it was over when u didn’t hug my tears away
when u didn’t care about my tears
anymore
when you got sick of me being always sad
As if I can control that
As if my depression was something I chose
As if I chose to be that sad
As if it was something I can control
I hate you now
and I’m stronger now
I got up on my own
I dried my tears on my own
I saved myself
and you weren’t there to help me survive
but I survived
and I hate you now.

Hi
Been a while
since
we cut each-other off
I miss you
I keep trying to forget
you
I keep trying to stop loving
you
I keep trying to convince myself that its over
I love you more than before
and I know you probably stopped
loving me
I see you with other girls  
I hope you are happy now
I hope you are happy that you are back to your old life
No more drama aya
No more crying aya
No more overly clingy aya
No more aya’s suffocative hugs
No more unstoppable I love you F.
No more messy hair and talks
Why would you miss all that right?
when you could just start fresh with someone new, I miss you, and if you do too then tell me, please.

Your hug
Your eyes
Your smile
Your laugh
Your grumpy face when u are mad
your everything
I miss you already
But
I had to leave
I had to leave
And I hope
one day you realize
What u did to me

You keep breaking me

and I keep forgiving you

You keep hurting me

and I keep holding you

I woke up wanting you back
I woke up ready to do anything
to have you back
I woke up wanting you to be mine again
I woke up wishing you would have
stayed
you used to hug my sadness away
you used to carry my anxiety away
you used to tame my depression everyday
why did you leave?
was it necessary all that pain
do you feel sad too?
do u wake up everyday feeling empty too?
do you miss me?
do you miss my goofy self around you?
i miss you and I can’t deny

Dear 12 am,
Stop
My heart is suffering daily
Because of your daily reminder
of how things are messed up
my life is messed up
my thoughts are messed up
my moods are messed up
my home is messed up
and my heart
my heart is dead and scattered in pieces
I’m tired
and I can’t do life anymore
I’m tired of being too sad
I’m tired of having such a heavy dead heart
I’m tired