skip-leap through the blinds
ride on the moonbeams
away
But dear doll the porcelain in your skin
hasn’t set yet

sometimes
i refuse to
write poetry
because inspiration
only comes from
sad
times

this realization
makes me
even
sadder

Through no fault of hers,
Her hands were fire
And her gaze was ice
Through no bad intentions
She watched me crumble under her fingers
Her soft hands scorched my skin
Through no rhyme or reason
Her smile was twisted
And her hand on my shoulder
Was enough to crush me

today
i am remembering
that self care
is not all
bubble baths &
face masks &
movie nights &
spa days &
essential oils
self care is
reaching out
when i know
i need help
and i am terrified
of the response
i may face

when there's dark

it's true--
i don't love you anymore.

but sometimes i catch your eye between waves in the surf,
that same ocean blue i've always known

like summers by the beach, you are long forgotten like my childhood,
days and nights spent drinking the stars

i will never forget what they taste like
i will never forget what you taste like.

it's true--
i don't love you anymore.

i am with another,
he is more than you ever could have been for me but

why do i still crave your inadequacy?
he is my whole galaxy, his beauty is unmatched and

oh how he makes me feel but
why am i still dreaming about you?

i don't love you anymore-- i promise,
we moved on so long ago i forget what goodbye sounds like

i'm lying.
i could never forget the way you said that,

like it took the strength of a million tsunamis to just
keep it together but oh i don't love you anymore!

it's what i've been trying to say i'm sorry but sometimes
the emotion in my own words gets so caught in my throat

i forget how to breathe because
i still see your eyes between the waves.
-a.c.b

Punish him
By being better,
Show him
He is wrong
By being good
To him.
This is
How you
Do not lose
Yourself.

I’m tired

Mentally

Emotionally

Physically

I’m tired of over thinking

I’m tired

I’m tired of it all

I’m tired of her

I’m tired of him

I’m tired of this feeling

Deep inside my chest

That makes me want to rip everything out

Tear me to shreads

But I can’t do that

I can’t have another 11 a.m. kitchen sink surgery

I’m tired of crying

Tired of feeling guilty

Tired of feeling unloved

Tired of forcing myself to eat

Tired of shaking

Tired of feeling empty

Tired of being numb

I’m tired.

I’m tired of always sleeping

I’m tired of forcing myself to do things

I’m tired of wanting to be liked

I’m tired of hating my body

I’m tired

I’m tired