tell me your secret
how did you make me lose my mind so fast?
usually so steadfast in my rationale,
i saw you and logic got thrown away

Remember that old uphill trail
We used to meander along
With matching footsteps
Under the sunlit canopy of leaves
Carving words for each other
On the bark of aged trees
Who may have known
what would become of us
But nevertheless smiled
acted as a blank canvas instead
And watched the moments
Filled with playful laughter
Peachy smiles
Lingering gaze
Warm caress
Unfold lazily between us
The winds of time
May have blown us miles apart
Our footprints may have long eroded
That sunlit canopy may have withered
And we may walk that trail
Only in our dreams
But those words are yet to fade
they were the voice of our soul
Etched into the lap of nature
And as I run my fingers along its rugged edges
I reminisce about you
And hope that wherever you are
You are thinking about me too

What I write may sound deep
But it's real life
What I write may be critiqued
But it's real life
What pushes me to do this
What motivates me to do this
Pain did

Without pain, I wouldn't be here
Without pain, I wouldn't bother
Even writing this stanza
Yet writing this takes the pain away from me
Yet it comes back to haunt me
They ask me "how do you know what real life is?"
Pain is how I know what real life
Revealed the entirety to me
I didn't live a life of candy and cakes
I live a life of failure and mistakes

Yet I am still here
Telling you how I am able to do this
How I am able to write this
Pain gave me this
And don't say you never felt pain
Couse without pain there is no real life
Yet there is a road of joy and happiness
The most of us find
I am still searching for mine
Yet pain never dies


Still, carry on
Even if I have nothing holding on
Pain showed me
And it will show you
A taste of reality
Pain guided me
Will it guide you?

The sensation of falling while silently standing alone in a crowd.
Cold icy chill running along my spine, confusing the nerves in my skin.
Hunger gnawing at the fringes of my curiosity, eating away my insides.
Ancient giants pounding their weight against my fragile skull.
A magnifying glass focused in on my minuscule existence, observing.
A vacuum, void, opaque blackness pressing my fibers into dust.
Breathless gasping, desperate pleading on deaf ears again.
Don't turn away.
Don't you dare turn away.
Listen to me scream.
Come back.
Look at me.
See nothing.

My head is filled with voices
Each have something to say
Telling me to make different choices
Each wants to get their way

I am trapped in a box of confusion
Inhaling water of a million oceans
My broken parts have suffered complete immersion
My heart has dealt with a thousand erosions

The voices chew through my nerves
Like acid
Their tone of voice swerves
Their faces placid

I have a gift for pretending
Keeping this smile on my face
As if my world was not ending
Even though that is the case