She could never decipher the intentions behind the feeling. Fragile little fleeting emotions, not to be trusted. For she loved with a hesitation that it would one day be gone. But was love even love at all? Did she only gaze up in wonder at the moon because of the distance between? Loving something that would be forever out of reach in fear it just might love her back.

I let different boys touch me
Because I wanted to know
Even for a second
What it felt like to be loved
Even if the love was cheap
And it tasted like ***
Like the punchline to a joke
I never got because it was me

I let different boys have different parts of me
Parts they didn't deserve
But I offered up willingly because I couldn't give anything else
after you broke me
I was looking for different fingers
to place different pieces and hoping  the outcome
would be a masterpiece
Maybe one of them would find a way
to cover up the handprints you left all over me

I let different boys touch me because I had to prove to myself
you wouldn't be the only one
that these scars marking my body wouldn't define
my worth to be loved
I am not entirely sure  
you aren't the only one who could ever touch me without slightly  flinching

I let different boys touch me because that is all I have been taught
To be a joke
To be silent
To be ready to give until you have nothing left
- they keep leaving me and I am to scared to offer up anything more than my body to get them to stay

Tired Minds,
Tired Eyes,
And tired lies.

I don’t have to build her a castle, she won’t come out of the one she has.
High grey walls that loom over any chance at ever getting in.
Tapestries of blood and night rain down over the sides.
I want to wash her face with stained glass on a summers eve
Sleeping before the gates amidst the bones of those before me
She dances with the vapors of the her elixirs that warm her
Alluringly and whimsically luring me to an irresistible demise
The idea of love hushed silent by the fear of an inevitable fate
Now there’s only emptiness, a coldness that pervades
A sullen heart

You’re wrong you know?
The darkness does nothing to muffle your cries.
I can still hear you.
You can hide here in the arms of the night.
I’m not going to pull you into the light.
Nor will I try to bring some light to you.
I just wanted you to know
I’m here too.
If you like
I’ll come stand beside you.
Even when you want to stand in the rain,
So no one’ll see your tears.
I’ll stand with you.
You can tell me your story,
And I promise I won’t walk away
We can stay here together, and listen to the rain.
When you feel better and are ready to step back out into the sun.
I’ll wish you only the best.
And when the storms come back, Hope isn’t lost.
Because I’m still here
In the rain
Where you left me.