It was as simple as
turning off a light, or
crushing a bug.
He realized early
that reality had
a brutal side;
band aids didn't
stick to his heart
so he checked out;
he disassociated with
the scenery around him,
and created a kinder
world, with no
brutality or cruelty.

And then one day
he built a
sailboat made of
cardboard and silk,
and just sailed away.
There were no
shadows as he
smiled at the
putrid, bright sun.

This journey called life seems so unfair
There’s very little good to be found
But so much evil everywhere
It’s hard to imagine the way things
Were  way back in the day
When family stuck together and didn’t
Betray
Morals were valued and respect was
A must
When a mans word was all that he had
To earn trust
Love was cherished and loyalty was too
For back in the day this is all that we knew
There were no cell phones, video games or the internet heard of
Back in the day time was spent with the ones we love
Things of this world were so much better when Gods children could openly pray
The world was a much better place back in the day.

I knew it would not last forever
But the future was unseen
Watched it slip out of our grasp
Before we could intervene

Season after season is passing
Golden transforms to white
Misty mornings exchanged for snow
While I wait to feel alright

Rose up through the ashes
But my heart's still burned and charred
And fear has formed an armor around
Every place it has been scarred

I search for symbols on my body
Yearn for meaning to be revealed
To understand length of our relationship
Yet answers all remain concealed

Shoulder the weight of rejection
Through time though tough to carry
Heaviness a consistent warning
That of intimacy to be wary

Like a little alarm silently blaring
Begging me to stay alone
Prioritizing safety over company
Love is hell unlike anything I've ever known

Portal straight to madness
No one is exempt
So if you want your sanity intact
Don't bother making an attempt

Desire turns willpower to vapor
As you steadily lose control
Until you cannot function in their absence
Need their affection to even feel whole

But when the flashes of electricity
Vanish from your partner's skin
But for you are stronger than ever
That's when the real torture begins

Color disappears from sight
The whole planet fading to grey
Happiness drained from all you touch
As you desperately clutch onto yesterday

Now waking up is a daunting task
Try to avoid facing reality
Solitude stings like a salted wound
Haunted by what we will never be

Then I stumble across your photo
For a moment don't feel so sad
As nostalgia rushes over me
I escape briefly into the love we once had

I close my eyes and block out the hurt
Memory tasting bittersweet
And when I finally open them
Feels like I'm falling to my feet

Desolation has become my home
Misery my only friend
I've learned the hard way caring is pain
So I swear I'll never care again

When a little kid falls over,
The silence that follows after is the worst.
Because their either absolutely fine,
or filling their lungs with enough air to mimic an air raid siren.