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 May 2020 Ellie Sutton
Nicole
"We're a mess"
She whispers
Lifting her head up
So that her eyes can meet mine
"An undeniable,
beautifully chaotic mess"
I correct her.
 May 2020 Ellie Sutton
JaxSpade
I made a mistake
I meant to be perfect

But I colored outside the lines
On purpose

I crossed the line
That meant to keep the lines inside

Because I'm not supposed to do it
I forgot to learn your tongue
Before we sank into bed
I will learn your song well
By touching it instead
There was a time when you and I
were impossibly tied to one another,
when we reached the ends of our ropes
we had no place to go but each other.

Years of the world trying to pull us apart
had only made us more tightly bound,
but when it came time for us to part
there was no way we could be unwound.

The problem with knots is when they get too tight
and you no longer want them teathered,
you're left with a single heartbreaking choice:
one end needs to be severed.

A rope that's cut will lose its strength
and the ends will begin to fray,
so one would expect it to loosen in time
until it finally falls away,

but even though my end was cut
the day we were torn apart,
the piece of me that remained tied to you
became the chains that still bind my heart.
I like to become intoxicated in Social-Media-Land
I love becoming a non reality
A delusion induced character
Brought by not wanting to value what was in my mirror.
I became a fake brand.
I became intoxicated with this new found and imaginary land.
I change my face
I change my voice
I checked everything over and made sure every word I spoke or had written was perfect.
As nothing ever is. A "Fantasy Island."
I dropped a coin into the wishing well.
I found nothing more than me becoming "Alice in Wonderland."
I was lost in a dream. I then wanted to wake up.
For the sake of my real life and it's future
became so unclear to me.
Breaking the shackles of being intoxicated as another person
the feeling of becoming universal god and a falsely made profit
I flashed back to the happiness of strength over burdens
The delight of being unique and unacceptable
in ways only that they Haters have grown to see in their eyes
Being stronger than they and bouncing their cold stares and words off my soul
I escaped Wonderland
I am one less lost soul swimming in their fish bowl.
I "wish you were here."
Where waters might not be always warm and clear
However, as lonely and hard as being the "freak out of the crowd"
That I appear to be...
It is a pleasure to be outside the screens of social media, at times,
As I am the stronger soul...One who is truly free...Me.
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