I can give
a little bit
of me
and I will give it
freely
but please
don’t ask
much more
of me

The night you drank too much
I stayed up to watch you breathe
To make sure you didn’t stop
You awoke and began to seethe
I was terrified of your touch
You made my heart drop
Mad at me for not getting sleep
There was nothing more I could give
That time was the last
Leaving was a great leap
Finally able to live
I’m healing from the past

Happy birthday; now you're older,
And (since I am growing bolder)
May I ask you include me,
In your will financially?
Or (if your death is premature)
I'd like to ask that you be sure
To at least spend your money well;
Party hard, and raise some hell!
Now granted– I won't wish you ill,
Regardless of what's in your will,
But if the lord your soul doth take,
Can I still have some birthday cake?

"I don't want
to die alone"
I can't help but think
As the world collapses around me

"I don't want
to leave this world
before I leave my mark"
As if the mark would be preserved
In the wake of the oncoming end

"I don't want
my first love
to be my last"
As my heart retreats inward
Further and further
From it all

"I don't want
to forget"
As my life blurs
Into monotony
And dread

"I don't want
to exist"
And yet
Here I remain

Stroll in the night
Pretty shape of light
Caress you in my imagination
Island in a sea called sky
Let me sleep under beams so tender
I am in love, I surrender.

Shell ✨🐚