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Acina Joy May 2018
I found her singing in heaven,
and I couldn't believe it,
because I shouldn't even be there yet,
and I hear her sing to me,
that I deserved it--to be there next to her.

And here I am now,
listening to songs not quite matching her words,
and I'm waiting for the day
to join something
that's not even there
anymore.
A small poem I made nights ago before I went to bed around 2 in the morning.
Acina Joy Apr 2018
I guess we’re a bit distant now
And somehow, it weirds me out
We’re not so usually far apart
But now you’re filling me with doubt

I find the red string that binds us
slowly fades into a shade
Because we don’t seem to find a path
to make the both of us stay

And I guess I’m lonely now
maybe too hard to be found
I’m a plane flying to nowhere,
searching for solid ground
I’m a missing puzzle piece,
crying underneath the couch
I can see you piece others,
but you can’t seem to find me out.

I’m lonely underneath the sky,
wandering with no goal in mind
imagining laughter in the air
hoping I haven’t left you behind.

I hope of many things that I know
I didn’t want to happen or do
But I’m crying because I know now
I will never be this close to you.

And I guess I’m lonely now
maybe too hard to be found
I’m a plane flying to nowhere,
searching for solid ground
I’m a missing puzzle piece,
crying underneath the couch
I can see you piece others,
but you can’t seem to find me out.
I feel like I've been forgotten, when the person you love the most just refuses to ever acknowledge you at times you need them.
Acina Joy Apr 2018
You pushed me far away because I couldn't understand.
I didn't even know what was happening, but you assumed right away,
that I was a clueless person, that I was nothing less but a mere speck of dust. Though you may oppose in the near future, that's what you made me feel like.

But the distance you gave me, it was unlike the rest. Because I saw how you changed, how your skin morphed and how your thoughts worked. And though distance is painful, I'm much more glad in seeing the bigger picture. That no matter how much you changed, I still love the way you are.

Still love the way you hurt me.
I love leaving twists at the end. :)
Acina Joy Apr 2018
For days, foliage sat by my porch
which I've been waiting to sweep.
But the wind always seems to know what I want.
It always does the work for me.
I've planned on sitting on the couch with you
but you don't seem to sit there anymore,
only the wind does. Only my own air.

I've been accustomed to making two coffees in the morning.
But your full coffee cup always sits there until it's cold
and I always take too much to drink, that I just throw away yours.
It's a waste that even I am accustomed to bringing two plates with me to dinner when no on sits on the other seat beside me.
It is still the air that sits there.

I feel so lonely, that I talk to myself about the things that have happened; of things that never did,
just to hear you respond.
To tell me it was all a lie.
And you never answer me. Only the air does.
Only the wind blows me away.

For days, foliage sat by my porch
which I've been waiting to sweep.
But the wind has been always there,
where you should've been.
And I laugh, because it's unnatural now.
To be conforming to something that isn't even there.
I feel loneliness in my heart. Not because of people deserting me, but because they never understand when I need them to be there. :(
Acina Joy Apr 2018
There’s a collection I keep of famous poets' poems,
of which were most about love.
Because I feel like it is much more easier
to see love in other people's ways,
because I can't simply find my own.


You force me into this illusion,
not because you make me feel affection,
but because it is the absence of your love
that baffles me so--
of which pulls me in. That despite our shared touches,
it is only fleeting and weak, fading like rain
under the heating sun.


That I am the earth you burn like matches to gasoline, and
you're the sun, pulling in others until they bathe in your
undying inferno. Never your love.
I've been so delighted with my last poem having so many views! I didn't expect it to get the momentary spotlight, but it seems like it has, and I appreciate all the people who've liked it so far! Thank you! You all are my motivation!
Acina Joy Apr 2018
I remember your smile,
how it caught mine so eagerly.
Having your fingers latch my heart,
just to make me look silly.

But we were so young back then,
I've yet to learn healing now.
But the imprint of your love burnt me,
and I still have yet to know how.

But I still can't seem to hate you,
nor forget who you really are.
Because you've made me feel like burning matches,
and I still have yet to light the dark.
I was in a mood. Blehp   )*-*(
Acina Joy Mar 2018
We’re midnight wanderers together.
The moonlight loves us, just as we love each other.
We stay by the gas station, watching people flick cigarettes and smoke dangerously close, but we never stray from the possibility of burning. Never when we’re in each other’s embrace.

And we felt infinite back there, at the gas station, seeing cars zoom past us, feeling the lonely night creep back. Seeing the stars above us go into motion. Feeling the emptiness that receives no bottom as we drown in each other’s running time.

And our eyes capture each other. And the human is captured. Just in each other’s sight. The ghastly existence of each other, acknowledging  we are mere immortals inside rotting bodies, and we knew we could feel it. The humanity that seeped into our bones, and the melancholy and sadness, and the ephemeral happiness, and the days of lodging and the emotion that fuelled our existence. In the gas station, fuelling cars.

We were aware of how limited our time was, and the feelings that replaced our fervour to chase after time. The blunders that caused our reckless fate. Our emotions that finally destroyed us.

And we stayed that way in the gas station, waiting to be burned into ashes. We accepted our bottomless dark emotions, platonic yet deadly, because that was the way it was. We fell in love with each other's humanity, one that needed to be let out near the gas station, just in case we burned ourselves.
I went to the gas station with my family today and fetched some microwaveable  food. To say the least, I didn't like it, but beautiful words and painful narratives came to the front of my mind.
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