I'm not going to get snowed in this year, I've spent one too many living in fear
I'm going to watercolor the gray skies in pink, purple, and blue
And I'm going to relax when I don't know what to do
I'm going to play pretend these cloud covered stars are yellow
I might just ride a bike, and for a while I'll feel mellow
I'm going to climb to the top of a mountain, I'm going to climb and scream
Because I made it this time, I made it in my mind, I've always been who I should be

I am not crying.
But it is raining outside.
And I thought maybe this is heaven's way of saving me from tears.
My sadness came in droplets sliding slowly off a glass window.
But I am sure as hell glad it did not hail down on me like a storm.

How to live the next 365 days:

10 days
To remember how it feels like to begin again
33 days
Of non-consecutive sadness that you never asked for
56 days
Of exploration
For your compass is a ticking clock
Go places and meet faces
Nothing found without a loss
200 days
Of mindless rout(in)e
Drowning in a system of (ter)ror
A mechanism of much (lac)k
But there is sanity in rigidity met(ed)
(And reckless will come)
12 days
Of alone time
Once a month
31 days
In December
Waiting for the next year to come
20 days
Of trying to go for a run
3 days
Without seeing the face of the sun
And 365 days
To discover yourself

365 days
Of ticking boxes
But before that
Cross out the resolution in its 5th year running
And accept that some things
Are just not meant to be
365 days of contentment
With yourself and your surrounding
For nothing shall call you victim
And lastly
365 days of loving
Whoever they are and whatever it is
Because no feeling in the world
Is better than this

i still remember lots of things about you
our first kiss
was in my bathroom
in the dark
we bumped noses.

Woke up today
in an unfamiliar place.
The lights didn't shine here,
the way I remembered it
and the curtains danced
to a different tune.
The waves leaped higher than yesterday.
I sank just a little bit.
The walls are a different color,
Still blurry but
a darker shade of grey.
Here, days are night and nights;
well, night.
Neighbors here have vacant stares
and not much to say.
Woke up today
in an unfamiliar place.
it's been a while,

still unfamiliar.

Your best friend is dear to you
You have some of your fondest memories with them
But what happens when them being your friend isn't enough
You want more of them
But you also don't want to take a chance
Because you might gain
You might lose
It's a game of risks
Gain a love?
Lose a friend?