it is much more than darkness
it is a world
something is keeping me here
the smell of desperation rots the air that fills my lungs full
the ashes of my past fall like rain
I am existing here
but not living there
shadows surround me standing in mockery
are they keeping me here?
they have no face but I can feel them
looking at me
judging me
I can hear them laughing at me
"You'll never get out."
"You'll never make it out alive."
"You'll never be like them."

while the earth feels uninhabitable for someone in my state of being
I search the darkness for meaning

Trapped in my darkest days,
I'm chained to the sight
of glad people in their light.
No, something isn't right...
I'm not supposed to feel
the need to see the other side.
A feeling I can't deal
or cast away in steel.
It's there, so comfortable in it's place
that it could never be replaced.

I don't have a name,
just a picture hung without a frame.
Dust at my corners;
what am I made of?
Blackened mud and
forbidden love.
I'm not the one that
you're thinking of;
I'm just the one that
you're picking up
when you need to feel
something real.
I been missing pieces
since we broke apart.
I better rehearse
and just play my part.
Notice how my pain
is a work of art?
Paint me all the colors
in your Mozart.
Even though in my soul
it's completely dark.

sandstone hits glass
she wants to talk about our past
the knives,the guns,the pills fill my head
her words ring in my ears like a lost melody
the things i would do to her,
the things i would do for her

she wields her sword and raises her shield,
ready to fight
our enemy is not the one waiting at the city gates
but the one messing with her heads.

we have the same enemies, her and i
they are born in our heads,
they thrive on our thoughts,
they keep us awake at 3 AM with a bottle of wine by our bedsides
because our eyes are too tired to shut themselves,
they make us love ourselves sometimes
only to rip us apart and wear our skin as cloaks.
our enemies are peculiar
they lift the corners of our mouth to form a smile
they make us swallow pills and snort drugs to feel alive.
we don't fight them
we let them win
we let them aim their guns at us
we let them destroy our will to live
we let them follow us to family gatherings and night-outs
we watch them rip our insides out with a smile
we can never get them out of our heads.
you see, we once built a palace inside our heads
we adorned the walls with our favourite pictures and stories
we hung fairy lights by our bedsides
because all the light we couldn't see was fading away.
the demons crawled out from under our beds and got into our heads.

darkness loomed over our palace.
the fairy lights were broken
the pictures shattered
the stories reduced to scribbles
we sharpened our knives,
got guns for hands,
bombs at the entrance
and changed the lamps to grenades
but they didn't die.
they grew stronger.

we tried to burn down our palace,
run away to our haven
but they got us in the end
and no matter how high our swords and shields are raised
they will stay with us
until the very end

Cut open my face,
that would only make it quicker.
I chose my fate,
so could you make this quicker?
You are not you
and I'm half of me.
Trapped in typhoon,
a war under moon
goes endlessly.
The night befriends you
to help you cut through.
What's left here is
nothing for you.
I left there, stayed here
with you.
No rights, I went left
with you.
Held tight, I spent
nights with you.
Then hands grip my neck,
no gun at your head.
A quick loss of breath,
look what love did.

Feel the heat
of a genuine passion
burning in your meat
like a love in old fashion.
They don't know love
like I do,
to embrace every thing
that makes you.
A shooting star
falling from space.
You know who you are
and that's tough
these days.

Body heat is extracting
the way we feel in collision,
something so everlasting,
It's much worth the impaction.

Your mind is so beautiful,
mine is a funeral.
I sleep among the dead
thoughts never said,
so unforgettable.

Guess I've made my bed
a dark space in my head.
Your content summer
breeze
left me under thunder
and took the ease.
I never plead
for your mercy, because
I can pretend I'm not me,
take the liquor to spill
and remove pain with pills.
I can pretend I'm not me,
if that makes it easy
for you.
I can do many things,
I can see everything,
thinking of anything
that could mean anything,
that something is coming.

Something is coming for me...