Is it because no one ever took you seriously?
That you feel the need to make others feel as low?

Lately I've had a hard time doing things
The things I used to love
Like reading, writing, talking
Have become dull

Lately I've had a hard time caring
Apathy has latched its arm around mine
And every day we walk together
Every step taken
More of me is drained

I’m trying
But it’s hard
It’s hard to do
Things

Living has become a hassle
My bed has become a puzzle
And I feel like it’s the only place I fit in

I see those around me
They live their lives
They seem so happy

Why can't I be like that?
When did I become like this?
*What’s wrong with me?

Let me write about you

Be the ink in my pen
The muscle pulls behind my key strokes
The block of marble which my words chip away at
until you stand rivaling David

I want to break you down into syllables
And string you back together
in a flurry of metaphors, similes, and adjectives

So when I compare you to the cosmos
Tell you how your eyes are like stars
And somewhere is a constellation looking to be completed

You’ll believe for once that beauty is something you are capable

I took every memory we ever made
And ground them up
Grounded them up
Until they were a fine powder
Then I mixed that powder with ink and put in a pen
With that pen I wrote
I wrote and I wrote and I wrote
Until the pen ran out of ink
The product that I was left with those memories that were once dead
brought back to life
Everything I tried to remembered but forgot
Everything I tried to forget but couldn't
If only getting over you was actually this easy

I've convinced myself
That we weren't meant to be
Just two stars that happened to cross each other's path
So as I traveled through space
I  searched for a planet to orbit around that would change my path
Then I could follow your path of stardust to the edge of the universe

Your mind is like a maze
I wouldn't mind getting lost in.
I'd purposefully take every wrong turn just so I could wander in your thoughts for just a little bit longer.
Your eyes are stars
and somewhere is a constellation looking to be completed.
Our lips are like clouds
and when it rains
you can find the spark you've been looking for when they touch.

Dear God,

Give me another family
Just so I may
Become something greater than
what I was supposed to
Because that's what you did
when saved Moses
from his eminent death
so perhaps
you can do the same for me

You are a miracle in your own right
You are composed of the most honest of human emotions
You were created when
Your mom and your dad met
got together
got naked
and ******
However
somewhere along the way
Between the sweating, the neck biting and the hair pulling
Between those lust filled sheets
We made love
We made so much love in fact
that we had no idea where to put it
so we put in your mother’s belly
And that’s where love stayed
Until 9 months later
When love was ready to rear itself into our lives
Leaving your mother to questioning why this was ever a good idea in the first place
As her screams and yours resonated through the hospital halls announcing your arrival when you took your first breath
moments later you spoke your first word in the form of a question
“why”
“why Dad would you bring me into a world
so vile and unsuitable for a delicate being such as I”
astonished
Not just by the level of articulation you possessed for just being a few minutes old
but how beautiful you were
how as I held you, you radiated
with a glow so innocent, so naïve,
so pure
I said Love
despite the harsh nature of the world you are about to face
I want you to know
That with every ****** nose
Every broken bone
Every scrapped piece of skin
Every fall, trip, jam, or collision
Will come relief
Blood will dry
Bones will grow back stronger
Band-aides were invented for a reason
and pain is not perpetual
it is as permanent as the skin cells holding you together as we speak
it is then that you will discover that invulnerability and fragility are two traits you did not inherit from your mother or I
Don’t get me wrong
You are not indestructible
There will be moments when this world will take you in its hands
squeeze you
collapse itself in on you
and swallow you whole
Moments when you feel as if you’re nothing more than a pile of dust that vaguely resembles the person you thought you were
Moments when it all falls apart
But you are strong
you are rugged
you are powerful
you are tenacious
you are tough
you are
going to survive
and when you do that
You are going to love
you are going to hate
you are going to learn
you are going to learn to love
especially yourself
because if there’s anything I want you to take from this it is to love yourself
for the love of whatever deity you decide to put your faith in
assuming if you ever choose to do so
love yourself
you’re also going to learn to hate yourself
your reflection will become your worst enemy
and when that happens
I want you to look at that mirror
see how delicately it holds you
as delicately as your mother held you on the day that you were born
when you question why I ever decided to bring you to the world
I will tell you
that in a world so desperately in need of kindness, goodness
and things that make you feel all fuzzy inside
you were my first contribution