‘goodnight, mom, i love you’







click.






dark.
im afraid of the dark


hug my teddy
he says its okay


big, small,
big small..
the shadows
im afraid of the shadows

where i was born
i was raised to believe
in the higher power
in the divine power
‘reza pro papai do céu!’

where i was born
i was raised to love someone
upon anyone
‘ame a Deus acima de todas as coisas’

when i grew
a little bit,
a little too much in mind
so much that mom forced me
to pray to a power
i dont even believe in

yells
just yells
no, mom!
that way i won’t even listen to myself!

—perhaps that’s what it’s all about.

every night before i sleep
i pray to not wake up
but it won’t happen
at least i can see the sun rise again
i smiled
it was time to move on

eyes of a fawn
innocent and wide.
its gaze on its mother,
its pelt spotted
like the shadow of the trees.

a cricket chirps,
little fawn looks back—
a stick breaks,
little fawn is gone.

hurt, touched, dead.
the mother was far away now.
it’s okay, little fawn,
it wasn’t your fault
for being born.

You will never be able to feel
Those hugs
The warmth close to the fire
The fresh breeze in a sunlit forest
The scent of beautiful flowers
The cat’s soft pelt
The smell of rain
Ever again

You will never be able to hear
The soft melody of the birds
The grass dancing in wind
Your favorite song
The gentle drizzle
The night animal’s calls in evening
Ever again

You will never be able to see
The graceful sunset
The pure animals
Those views..
The mysterious night sky
Nature..
The beauty of life
Ever again

So I say
Don’t go yet
We have so much to do
And you…
It’s myself in the mirror
So I say
Please stay
Ivan

is there is something out there?
or all i ever did was worth nothing?
belle says that my purpose is to simply be
because we’re all going to disappear someday
cause, yknow, healing takes time
lets just watch the sunset and hold hands

im learning to love the sound of the waves
they push me away, and tell me to stay
they tell me to bloom
calmly like the flowers in the deepest of forests

some scars never leave you.
just like the strong branches of a tree.
you carry them.
i will forever feel the branches

some memories never leave your mind.
just like the gentle breeze
they wander.
i will forever feel the breeze

its heavy, im tired
but you..
you make me wake up for a day