A glare of sunshine touches my face
Awaking me from my deep slumber
I yawn, the cool air fills my lungs.
A sweet aroma of syrup fills my nostrils.
It's finally summer.

the pain.

she envied the movie star like glistening smile.

she wanted to be like the girls who were carefree.

she wanted to be beautiful.

but beautiful to her was thin.

it started when someone called her fat.

"am I?" she wondered.

so she starved herself, maybe eating a ******* or two after mama told her.

but she spit them back up because she couldn't help it.

she wanted to be like the pretty school cheerleaders.

and she hated herself.

each time she stepped on the scale she cried.

the numbers soon went from 88 to 89

"im doing it wrong" she thought.

and she continued on going day by day with water.

swallowing and spitting back up.

eating more and more.

and spitting it back up.

she was slowly going insane, day by day.

she started slicing her wrists like meat.

she started crying herself to sleep.

she became empty of adrenaline.

she didn't want to wake up anymore.

i guess you could say that

pain, is an understatement.

To the girls who are secretly so broken
You WILL be alright
I know you have scars on your soul
Maybe your heart
Possibly your wrists
None of this is your fault
And even if you think it is
Let it go
Not that you can, that easily
But try
I know you are broken
I know you're not okay
Especially when people ask how you are and you answer "I'm fine"
When what you really mean is "I'm alive"
But what do you really care about your own survival anymore
Well I just want you to know
There is beauty in broken glass
And to me
There is immeasurable beauty
In broken girls
So don't you ever forget
You cannot be defined by pain
You're too beautiful for that
Stay strong, broken girl
Nothing is ever really broken

"Wake up, wake up" a gentle force on my shoulder awoke me.
"What's your name? What's your name? What's your name?" The Doctor told me.

I blinked, and I blinked, and I blinked three times.
I didn't know, didn't know, that I was out of my mind.

I saw the tears, saw the tears, saw the tears rush down.
"Who is she, who is she?" the hands felt around.

I blink blink blinked twice and a third.
My soul was free, free as a bird.

I clenched my fists and cleared my throat.
All eyes looked at me in a empty hope.

"My name is Scarlet, scarlet as red"
"Red as blood, blood instead"

Joyful screams filled my ears.
People jumping, filled with cheers.

What was wrong? I wondered.
Little did I know I was in a blunder.

I had amnesia and I didn't remember
That I had forgot.

You never were a hater,
But you tried to be a player.
You tried to come off cool,
But there's a devil in your lair.
You tried to be a good one,
But they talk behind your back.
They're plotting, they're wotnotting,
And they're planning their attack.
They severed your reality -
They twisted every turn.
They're burning and they're churning,
They don't render what you yearn.
Then panic triggers fever,
And you feel the fever burn.
If they keep on pushing,
Those suckers gonna learn.
Then the witness understands.
There is reason for concern.
There is a new commander -
And oh!   The worm has turned.

What could you do?
You never knew.
How could have you?
No-one told you.
Misery is glue,
Sticks to you.

You never were a villain
Till they clotted up your chill.
You never needed anyone
To tell you what you feel.
They only know to validate
Themselves - they never love.
If it suits their motives,
They will bite, and kick and shove.
There never was a heartache
That you could not overcome.
You have to have a heart that's hard.
So go out and get you one.
Trample loosers under foot,
Or they'll be too burdensome.
Keep your left hand from your right,
And keep your lovers under thumb.
Finally, you start to see
That life is just a loaded gun.
You can never stop to rest,
You're always on the run.

What could you do?
You never knew.
How could have you?
No-one told you.
Misery is glue,
Sticks to you.

You master all that you survey, Everybody knows your name.
Cream rises to the top -
You are the winner of the game.
If you gave them half the chance,  
They  would cut you down.
You forever have to watch your back,
Never let them gather 'round.
You didn't try to rule the world,
You only wanted to survive.
If they had their way,  
You would no longer be alive.
Your meter's getting weaker,
But you strive to make it through.
You've trudged thicker purposes,
You always make it through.
They will give it all they've got
When they finally come for you.
You have never had a moment's peace,
'Cause misery is glue.

What could you do?
You never knew.
How could have you?
No-one told you.
Misery is glue,
Sticks to you.

the door slams shut

i hear the sound of mommy and daddy yelling.

cursing. i hear mommy screaming daddies name.

silence

i hear the quiet footsteps, boots dragging across the carpet floor.

"anabelle" daddy yelled.

i hushed, wanting to cry.

what happened to mommy, i wondered.

i heard the pound on the door

"anabelle LET ME IN" this always happened.

i thought i was daddies little girl.

he was intoxicated, the known smell entered my nose.

he sweared multiple times, tears rushing down my cheeks.

i heard the sound of sirens in the distance.

"come out with your hands up, paul!"

daddies name was called.

he banged harder on the closet door, until it finally fell to pieces.

"anabelle!" he screamed angrily in my face.

the police was right behind him, and i didn't say a single word.

"let her go" and i was dropped like a penny.

i saw my mommy on the floor like a rag doll.

battered and bruised, but beautiful.

but now, she was gone.