It doesn't matter what happens
Though I'd like to control what will
I don't know how, what and when
But I do know one thing,
I want you and I choose you

No matter how lost I am in the darkness and chaos in my head
There's nothing that could keep my vision away from you

In every version of reality
All of it combined and all kept apart
It would say the same

It would say,
I want you in forever
And choose you for *always

I usually know how to say how I feel, but this sadness is too great
Can't write it beautifully, just cry
Every waking moment tears are streaming, nothing can stop them from falling

I wrote you a letter
That you will carry with you forever

I'm sorry
I cannot say
Or write
Anything great

I kept telling myself the same things over and over again in my head
Told myself to stay strong
To not shed a tear
And to continue to laugh

But when he said that he's okay with it and that it didn't really matter
I did break
I broke

Although, in that moment
I did stay strong
I didn't shed a tear in his presence
And I laughed at his way of telling the story behind the casino on the cruise

I dred looking back at photo's of him
Because it will never be again

The only man who I've ever called 'daddy'
Just he who heard that word come out of my mouth
He, had his last Christmas
And we have spent it together

I think I'm losing my mind
    What am I saying?

Because
Really

I've lost it many years ago.

I want to feel your love
But once again I forgot
Somewhere I know
But I don't feel it anymore

Worried that your friends mean more
To you than me
I want to be the only one
Although that thought is sick

Want you to be with me
Us together
Always
Be together

Hate everything that keeps us apart
Even when I know that's wrong
It's what I feel
And it makes me feel

Some sort of shame

He seems
So careless
But I know
There is more

The things that don’t show
But in the inside it is full

Getting
To know
Every bit
Of him

Afraid of what he does not care about
Loving him for the way he thinks

How he
Was always
There
He cared

He cares about more than it shows
Let’s me see his mind like never before

I am
Starting
To love
Him even more