I kept telling myself the same things over and over again in my head
Told myself to stay strong
To not shed a tear
And to continue to laugh

But when he said that he's okay with it and that it didn't really matter
I did break
I broke

Although, in that moment
I did stay strong
I didn't shed a tear in his presence
And I laughed at his way of telling the story behind the casino on the cruise

I dred looking back at photo's of him
Because it will never be again

The only man who I've ever called 'daddy'
Just he who heard that word come out of my mouth
He, had his last Christmas
And we have spent it together