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what remains here, after you,
makes sound only the finest instruments
can detect--waves
from deep space

the December blast outside
a summer breeze compared to dead air
in this heated tomb

quilts you left smell of us
wrapped in two of them, I'm still
shivering, staring at the
door you shut,

surprised
it did not shatter,
so bound by ice
*-235.15 degrees Celsius is absolute zero
I hate my feelings...
I hate my words...
I hate my pen...
I wish not to hold it and taint my papers....
I wish Death be my true friend, where everything allied against me...
I declared Love, I declared things were true and all that were thrown in ingratitude  waste!
                            I hate being awaken again!
                                     I just want to sleep
                                              In peace!
Like a melody penetrating your soul...
Like a water stream cleaning your burdens...
Purifying your spirit from Rainy days...
Let you cry like a child, longing to sleep peacefully...
Like a flute of its own rhythm...
I didn't tell her that!.....
                                         But....
I kept hearing her voice!...
Trying to heal myself and unable to give her the credit...
                                I might be afraid! Afraid of...
Losing the privilege I gave myself without permission...
Not hearing her voice anymore...
                                         I'm sorry.......
                                It is not the voice only!
It is everything in her, even the face... even eyes have their own touch...
                                      Her Voice was the....
                                             Trigger!
When you write about someone and she doesn't know!
That really has another flavor, which can't be understood in words or even can be defined by human terms!
I feel cold in every tiny vein!
In every second, every part of me is deprived from life!
As if the Hope I had with Love being euthanize!
I won't feel the warmth anymore!
                           I won't feel Myself or My Heart anymore!
                                      I've been discharged from....
                                                       Life!
Strange but might turn to reality!
She Said "I'll put my hand on your chest, so your heart slows down and finds peace and silence"...
                                                    H­eart....
When Heart doesn't feel belong to this body, where I would find Peace!
                                                  
                                                     Peace...
When Peace has no meaning, it becomes like a phantom in the desert!
                                                  
                                                     Silence....
When Silence is fed up from this chaos, then Screaming out of anger is the way out!

                          Tell me where do you want to put your Hand!
I have to admit, I'm really angry within myself! Really want to smash something!
All my writings, words, feelings are processed differently, painfully and genuinely...
This is Me...
Drifting somewhere, talking everyone away from me to nowhere...
This is Me...
Bleeding with no blood in veins...
Draining from Soul into sphere...
Crying for one peaceful sleep...
This is me...
Trying to break law of logic...
Trying to live humanly...
Trying to see what God created inside me...
Trying to breath normally...
This is Me...
The norm of life does not suit me...
The Logic of people can't be understand...
The Existing of me around them pleases me...
This is me...
Trying new Chapter with me lovely Kids..
 Jan 2016 Third Eye Candy
AJ
Lying in the grass at two in the morning,
Smoking some Marlboro 27s,
With a bottle of Sobieski by my side.
I'm staring into the completely blank sky,
And the clouds have gypped me again.
My stomach feels warm,
My head feels heavy.
The clouds where too ominous.
I should have remembered foreshadowing from my childhood.
The one vocab used every ******* year ,
From ages 10 to 18.
I knew it was going to rain.
By this point I don't have enough sobriety stored up to care.
Or to leave.
If the rain wants to get in my hair, and my mouth, and my clothes, and my soul,
It'll be closer than I want anyone else to be at this moment.
A prideful man would chase his own *** before he would chase yours
No matter the cost, his lust for false righteousness exceeds the sum of innocence which surrounds him
It dissolves time and love and stores it deep into the space only he knows
Casting out any attempt of making things right, even as a child calls him daddy, it's not enough

It's
Not
Enough

The pain he puts forth is his fuel to spread hate fullness in innocence
Having no regard of the destruction he's caused in the eyes of the one's who loved him
Like broken glass, the aftermath is devastating
The tears have summoned a raging flood God can't stop
A prideful man will stand tall during it all and claim innocence
While the one's who loved him are caught and swept away
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