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I say I'm okay
but I'm not
I'll have my good days
and I'll have my worst
but until the day
I go to bed without
a feeling of dread
or tears on the bed
pounding in my head
the inability to catch my breath
I'm not okay

I won't truly be okay
Until the day
I can say hello
without having to rehearse it
or wonder if I said it
too quiet
or too loud
if it even came out
and worrying if
the conversation will go past that

If the most I say
about how I'm feeling
is okay
and you had to ask in the first place
I'm probably not

If I'm more worried
if you're okay
than I'm probably not
because until I unlearn
how to pick everybody but myself up
I'm not

I say I'm okay
so you don't have to worry about me
but I'll still cling to all the care
and love you give to me
because I'm still unsure
if its all I get
so until the day
I don't feel the need
for reassurance that you care for me
I'm not okay

Until the day
I can no longer relate to this
I'm not okay
but I'm working on it
 May 2015 The uniVerse
David
I lay there, still.
Frozen.
Trapped again in the prison of my thoughts.
Paralysed on the bed.
Trapped once again.
Scenes spiraling in my head.

The image is etched into my mind,
carved coldly when i close my eyes
and like closing your eyes
after staring at the sun:
it wont go, it has just begun
to hurt.
This is no fun.

Trapped in the prison of my mind.
The prison of my room.
Of my house,
my life,
Her face,
voice,
singing,
talking,
touch,
touching,
taste,
tast­ing,
tingling,
Trapped.

Locked with the key thrown away.
Locked to my self,
alone.
Tomorrow and every day
Why?
I can't say.

And the pain,
Like a sliced vein:
It won't stop.
And its killing me slowly
as I call her name,
she doesn't answer.
She will never answer.
Never again.

Well, there are other girls;
It's not the end of the world,
I say to myself.
I will get over it in a while,
I say,
so I can half-fake a smile.
So I can fake it through another day.
I don't really need her,
I say,
bleeding and aching.
I'm fine.
I'm okay,
I say,
**I'm okay.
Some more melodramatic drivel I came out with some week ago.
 May 2015 The uniVerse
David
I'm going away for a while.
If you pass her by:
Tell her I miss her.
Her voice, her smile.
But tell her "boys don't cry".
Tell her I'm sorry,
though she already knows.
Tell her I still think of her,
say it though it shows.
And tell her I meant to say
that I wish things hadn't gone that way
that I wish I gave her a reason
for wanting me to stay;
and please tell her
that I'm not begging
or pleading
or wasting away.
Tell her I'm carrying on,
tell her I'm okay.

Tell her she's been in my dreams
and that last night I held her hand.
Tell her the cat gave my tongue back to me.
Just tell her, she'll understand.
Tell her it made me feel alive
to once again feel her touch.
Though feeling alive without her here
is not feeling very much.
But anyway,
tell her that I miss her
and that time we sat by the docks,
she knows,
I really meant to kiss her
right there,
but now I sit alone
and watch the clock.
"Time
goes by
so slowly"

Tick Tock, it goes,
Tick Tock
Tick
Tock.


But tell her I'm not lonely.
Tell her I'm quite alright.
I never needed someone to love me
or someone to hold me tight.
But tell her I wouldn't mind it
if she called me,
or took the time to write.
Even just to say good morning,
good afternoon, good evening,
or goodnight.
Tell her I was alone before I knew her,
that I got on just fine.
Just now it's but a little bit harder
So I'll sit down and sip on her city's wine,
I'll savour that bitter-sweet flavour,
and I will be
just fine.

Tell her Rome has fallen,
the war is over,
and I have lost the fight.
That she's better off without me
That what she did was right
But tell her that If I could go back,
and she knows that I would,
that I wouldn't hesitate to do it right
no matter what way God, fate, or karma
says it shouldn't or should.

Tell her I hope she's doing well
and that it isn't too late.
Though she might tell you
that too late it is.
And perhaps that's just fate.
Maybe we weren't made for each other,
like I had really hoped.
Maybe she's meant for another
and that's just how it goes.
Or maybe she needs nobody at all.
No one there to stand her up.
No one there to catch her fall.
But tell her I'm happy for her either way.
Tell her it's fine
Tell her it's okay.

But maybe you shouldn't tell her
anything that I have said.
I think it's best
for all of us
If any memory of me was wiped
away
from her head,
and she just forgets me instead.
It might be better if you tell her
That I never said a thing.
I think it's best if she forgets
Her forgetful little fling.

But wait.

I was more than that.
"And I know because she said so."
Tell her to forget my insecurity,
and please tell her,
because she might not know
that I was just scared
so afraid that she might leave,
that she might go:
That I pushed her away
that I pick up whats most important
disregard,
then foolishly throw.
But tell her I didn't mean it,
that it wasn't supposed to be so.

Tell her only good wishes to her I send.
That I was in the wrong.
that 'There are cracks in the walls
that I can't mend."

Again, to quote a song.

And tell her I'm a fool.
Not that she needs to be told,
because "only fools rush in"
and with her,
my heart was quickly sold.
Tell her I played the game,
I gambled,
and now all the dice have been rolled.
Tell her it's a strange feeling.
Tell her that "I will never grow so old".

Tell her when I asked for her kiss
and saw that look in her eyes:
I thought then she never wanted me.
Tell her I believed my own silly lies.
Tell her before I didn't see it
But God, I see it now.
Tell her I have to live with what I've done
but I'll get by somehow.

Tell her that in the airport
(for maybe she might laugh)
I was kicked out of a prayer room
for sleeping on prayer mats.
And as I lay on those mats,
a movie quote came to mind
"See you in another life
when we are both cats."

Maybe some meaning
I hoped she might find.

And tell her, before I forget,
on our last walk
she splashed a puddle
and I got wet.
But I didn't mind,
I didn't get upset.
Just tell her,
because I might not get a chance
that as she skipped, jumped,
gravity making her tied hair dance
"Well, it suddenly struck me,"
as she splashed that puddle:
and I knew, then and there,
I won't lie,
I would not deny
one
last
cuddle.
But such is life,
and life
is unfair.

Tell her I hope she finds her little house in the snow.
I won't be there, that much she will know.
Sad and regretful, maybe,
but spiteful I am not.
Tell her that I love her still.
Tell her
she'll always be my little teapot.
A poem that isn't relevant to my life situation or anything. Everything in quotes is either from a song or a movie. A lot of things that only one other person will get but still
 May 2015 The uniVerse
AK Bright
She looks in the mirror
At the age on her face
"I wonder what he thinks
of me this way?"

She considers her weight
and the pores on her skin
She thinks out loud
"I don't deserve him."

She picks apart
the woman he loves
Separating her worth
from all that she does
              
He looks in her eyes
and caresses her face
He sees it glowing with love
and full of grace

 The lines on her face
  he views with pride
  Recounting the victories
  each time they've been tried

The weight that she carries
 is that of a mom
 Nothing's too heavy
 She just marches on

These bodies will perish
 and mirrors offer no truth
True love abides
 beyond the corridors of youth

  No, she doesn't deserve me
  Perhaps God can see
  Conceivably, one day
  I'll be as worthy as she
to the mother of my children. Happy Mother's Day!
 May 2015 The uniVerse
Kitts
You call me your lover, you call me your friend
But boy you have to realize our love has come to an end

You try to make me remember when all i want to do is forget
You know perfectly well I haven't just yet

Holding me close only makes me want to run
Just loosen up and let me have some fun

I don't love you, maybe I never did, for you never satisfied
All you ever wanted to do was play games, cheat and lie

You make me remember the times good and bad
You make me remember all the times you made me sad

I am not the girl you used to love, I am not child you fell for
I am a woman, not a girl, I have fought and over came the world, I am no cheap *****

You tell me you love me, you worship me still
But boy you don't know that you're heart I'll ****

You broke me, you hurt me, you made me cry
And yet you're still wondering why I said good bye?

You call me your lover, say that I'll always belong to you
But baby, the thought of loving you makes me all shades of blue

I have found a guy who treats me so very right
I spend most days talking with him long into the night

You tell me you love me, you don't know a thing
You tell me you want to buy me a diamond ring

Boy you know nothing, all you do is make me cry
You're like a fat catfish and I'm ready to fry

So run away child of my past, don't you know we were never meant to last
You should have run away from me, should have run so fast

I held you close once, couldn't live without you
And now that I am happy you come running right back, wanting to make me blue

I used to burn your sign into my skin, just to my loyalty
But you treated me like a slave, he treats me like royalty

He loves me, you never did, You wanted to maintain the life that you hide
He know me deeply, knows exactly what is down deep inside

What can you offer that he can't offer more?
He treats me like a queen., you treated me like a *****

You call me your lover, you call me your friend
But darling this torture you call love has come to its end

I have found someone who just cannot be compared to you
He is a King of the night, you're just a Prince dying for a fight

So go to hell and take your feeling with you
Because darling, we are now through
 May 2015 The uniVerse
Lucy Tonic
I reckon I hear the call
Let's get lifted as we fall
Expose your soul as an innocent monster
It beckons to us all

You contain the kind of laughter that
Disguises many shades of tears
What happens when love is your master
Pulsing through your veins and years

Already walking in shadows
But you kept me in the dark
Looking for a familiar pattern-
A star, a scar, a spark

As I was wounded and hurting
Looking for dessert for the deserted
I lit a fire-
But it burnt the forest down

Now we are both sad clowns
Working our way through the wreckage-
Someone shuffled the deck
And all the hearts went missing
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