And that's just it, isn't it?
There is no second love, to make this go away.
There's just the pain,
From knowing you couldn't stay.
Oh dear first love,
What else can I say?

Why do I write, what won't be read?
Why do I live, when I wish I was dead?
What is the point, in sitting here playing?
Why care about people, when they insist on not staying?

Maybe because, I don't have a choice,
and when speaking in person, I lose my voice.

It's been over a year since I made you smile
and I won't do it again, for a long while
We never could promise that forever
but I'm starting to think it'll happen never.
And so I just sit here, hating love
because of the girl, I'm writing of

Slowly approaching, the final minute
Life goes on, without me in it,
There's no need for another goodbye,
You won't notice, and I will die,
Time goes on as the earth spins,
and in the end, time always wins.
Life goes on, without me in it,
From your story, I will omit
Myself

I miss the way you said my name
I miss loving you and you feeling the same
I miss that loving, lustful look in your eyes
I miss how around how around time always flies
I miss how every moment with you made want a million more
I miss looking at you, you're the most beautiful thing I ever saw
I miss you, because I'm still in love
and you're still an angel, belonging above

Your beauty is something to which words can't compare
I love you more that anything, as I trust you're aware
You're more perfect than I could ever describe
I'll love you forever, this feeling won't subside
You're my perfect little angel, you
I'll love you no matter what you do.

Poetry is meant to be words I've said, that I'd be happy to be remembered for.
And other peoples poetry, are words I've read, that I'm happy to remember.
But I've lost so many, so many of mine I haven't written down.
I've lost so many of the ones I read, but were deleted.
The thing is, nothing would make me happier than remembering yours,
yet they are slowly slipping from my memory.
I can't find most of them anywhere for me to reread,
but I don't want to lose them.
Because you are someone else's poetry now,
but those poems you wrote, perhaps at least they could still be mine.

Where went the days, when words were there?
When we'd talk all day, and I was allowed to care?
Now I can barley think, of words to type.
The one I want to say, I just don't have the right.

Over the hills, the sun starts to rise,
and in my heart, all hope surely dies,
I love you little angel, but you're gone for good,
so I'm moving on, as you said I should.
Her hair isn't perfect. Her lips aren't sweet.
She's not the most beautiful girl, I ever did meet.
But the scars on my aback, from her well maintained nails,
feel like old times, and so my heart sails.
and I wish, that you were the one,
but oh well for now, I'll just have some fun.

Why can't I delete the poetry?
It's not like you'll ever reread it.
Why then do I leave it online?
It can only hurt me more.

I removed all the other evidence,
that I ever existed to you.
That necklace is lost to sea,
and those I love you texts are gone.

But my poems are still on hellopoetry,
and I don't know why that is,
as much as I wish I could remove them,
I really just don't have the strength.

What good is a poet, when there are no words to find?
No words to say, how your beauty's refined.
What good are poems, when I can't say how I feel?
Can't tell you the feelings, that I conceal.

Yet today was amazing, I had so much fun.
On this beautiful day, spent with you in the sun.

I feel in love with her in the dark, the grey, the rain,
but now I've a reason to enjoy sunlight again,
the sun never shined, on our happiest days,
alway her beauty, radiated through haze.

But the days spent with you, here in the sun,
are convincing me perhaps, you are the one,
I can't remember, ever smiling so hard,
as when your beauty in the sunlight, caught me of guard.

You and I both know, that words are my thing,
I'm like a warrior, and they're the weapons I bring.
But why then, can I not explain,
this notion I entertain?
How come I can't say, what you mean to me?
It should be a simple, a few words would make you see,
but there are none in my head, just the thought of you,
but you don't know that, and so I'm feeling blue.
I could've told her, with a single line,
but with a thousand poems, I couldn't make you mine.
Perhaps there is no way, to word the way I feel,
perhaps thats how I'll know, that this is really real.

But even if I had the words, I probably couldn't say.
It's not a like girl a like you, could love me anyway.

Starting some poems, that I then quickly scrap,
because though I feel happy, I suspect it's a trap.
So I can't write, not for any muse,
'cause I can't find the words I want to use.
Sorry for staying, and for feeling this way,
sorry for going and not talking today.
I don't understand I'm just so confused,
holding my heart, all tattered and bruised,
what is it I want? What is I need?
Just give some advice that I can heed.
Because silence is brutal, but talking makes me feel,
and I keep reopening wounds that just won't heal

I would.
I'd see her in everything, that I adore
I'd scour the world for the right words and more.
Until this feeling's explained, I'll constantly stress,
Do everything possible, and not a thing less.
Rather than just feel it, I'll make her understand
Leave her something to remember, even when I'm not on hand.
Because what she says isn't always, what she feels,
You can't believe her words, just because it appeals.

And how little you'd do, became apparent in time,
I'd do so much more, and then I'd make it rhyme

A year has passed, and it hasn't changed,
no my favourite part, hasn't been exchanged.
More than any feeling, or touch, or kiss,
it's that look in your eyes, that I really miss.
That look of love, and need and lust,
of happiness, hope, and most of all trust.
I miss that look, that you once gave me,
I miss staring into your eyes, and that being all I see.

Such a long year, since I last tasted your lips,
and over your skin, traced my fingertips.
Such a long year, since that day in your room,
a day you've forgotten, or so I assume.
But a day of perfection, of laughter of smiles,
and of you and your sister, putting my hair in odd styles.
The last day where I pinned, you down on your floor,
the last day spent constantly, closing your door,
the last day I had you all to myself,
before my emotions, I was forced to shelf.
It's a day you've forgotten, just as you should,
but a day I'll remember, as I knew that I would.

There it is again, that brutal heartbreak,
a blinding pain, that I can't take.
This isn't what I wanted to do,
I thought I was planning, on fighting for you,
but no, this time, I put your happiness first,
though all the pain, makes it feel like I'm cursed.
This time I won't, get in the way,
of your happiness my love, no, not on this day.
My palms, they sting, but I know this is right,
I won't tell you, what I want to tonight,
instead I'll suggest, you be happy with him,
and let my blood glisten, in this light oh so dim.

Here I beg, for death's sweet release,
so I can finally be at peace,
and no one cares, and no one knows,
about unimportant feelings such as those,
of suicide, and of the end,
and a wasted life, I couldn't spend

Leave me alone, just let me burn,
I can't handle the return,
of feelings I left, because they burned
but now I fear, they have returned.
So leave me alone, I want to die,
but you won't, so I can't try.

I'm sorry little dragon, but you know I can't stay,
I never was any good, to you, anyway.
I love someone else, and it just isn't fair,
you need someone, who about you can care,
but I need a girl who just wants some fun.
I don't mean to hurt you, you're just not the one
I'll remember your lips, and your ******* form too,
but when you were like that, I wasn't thinking of you.
I am really sorry. I can still be your friend,
and maybe, just maybe, this won't be the end.
Maybe one day, when her image is gone,
we'll be together, once I have moved on,
till then though, don't hate me, for sleeping around,
commitment brings back memories, of what she threw on the ground.

Oh to see you tomorrow, and taste your sweet lips,
and to once again, have my hands on your hips,
to dance in light, to sound of our song,
and have happiness, that doesn't feel wrong,
oh for that there's nothing I wouldn't do,
and tomorrow will be perfect, just me and you.

I've been so caught up in love as of late,
that I guess I kinda forgot how to hate,
hate the world for taking you away,
hate you for leaving that day,
hate them for laughing at me,
hate him for being all you see,
hate me for being in love with you,
hate the words "I love you" too,
hate everything that ever was,
hate everything just because,
I miss you so ******* bad,
I don't want this pain so I'll get mad,
and fight and kick and scream and hate,
because it was too little too late.

I'm here on the sand where I once pinned you down,
but I'm here with her, and I can't help but frown.
I though it'd help, burn the memory away,
but now I just really, miss that day,
and she doesn't know, she means nothing to me,
as I lie to her, it's just love she can see.

You always complain you find me too distracting,
and I can tell by your eyes that you're not just acting,
but you are my distraction too,
and even though I don't love you,
I can lie, and say those words,
as we lie on the grass, watching the birds.

Did you miss me my dear, did you miss my voice?
I thought about it my dear, and this is my choice.
You here, in my arms, forever and more,
Because it's you, my dear, who I adore.
I need to apologize, for making you wait,
So little dragon, you still keen for that date?

**** me, please, it hurts to think,
as into darkness, I slowly sink.
The fire burns, and the cuts, they sting,
I wish I couldn't, feel a thing.
Please let me go, please let me die,
I'll be forgotten, before the blood's dry

Everything hurts, and I want to die,
I don’t understand, why we even try.
There is no point, no light, no hope,
Just this endless downhill *****,
From perfection to this untold pain,
Yet I always let it, it happen again

Here I am, king of thieves,
she's out there, queen of the seas
but there is something I'll admit,
as all lord-like here I sit,
I miss the days so full of wonder,
risking being torn asunder,
just to adventure with the girl,
who makes my happy enough to twirl.
I want to quest and to explore,
with that girl that I adore,
her hair in the sun's great light,
or stolen kisses by moonlight,
what an adventure that would be,
if it were only you and me.

Is it wrong I want my wish to come true?
Am I guilty for wishing for nothing but you?

A dragon needs a princess, but an angel needs a demon.
This isn't a choice, I was never a freeman.
I've chosen her some countless times and will some countless more.
I'm already ready to accept, what the universe has in store.
But please don't be sad, for what could have been.
Please still believe, all that you've seen.
Go have fun, but without me.
We'll all be fine, just wait and see.

I bet you think you're really funny,
when you make me sad while outside it is sunny.
I bet you love it that my pain,
goes away, when I'm in the rain.
I bet you love to laugh at the change,
just when my life starts to arrange.
I give up, and I let her go,
only then do feelings show.
Only once, I've found another,
do you point out, I don't want the other.
Cosmic Irony, oh laughing gods,
a good plot twist, what are the odds?

I always saw everything in black and white,
Never had to doubt if it was wrong or right,
But then along you came,  all acting so cute,
Causing an attraction I couldn't refute.
It's wrong to feel this and to want so much,
But right now baby I'm craving your touch.
Just for the summer, just a little fling,
Just a couple of dates, but here's the thing,
I think I want more, like a chance at forever,
But it's just for the summer, then after that never

I don't feel in love, I don't feel lust
But I feel something, I don't trust.
What if I act?, what if I care?
What if she noticed my envious stare?

But I feel great, I feel a crush
Our constant talking, makes me blush.
I've been caring for a while,
And I think she's noticed, my hidden smile

My cellphone get the kisses,
meant for my love so far away.
It's a long time till I'll see you,
but I'm still waiting for that day.

I thought 'perhaps she's someone I'd like to know'
and my god, I nearly let my secrets show.
I nearly told her how my nights full
of analogies of the ocean's pull,
and how her eyes shine perfectly bright,
and she looked so good under the party light,
but I retain my posture, and don't let her in,
because last time I shared a poem, I certainly did not win.

Entropy isn't quite what it used to be,
Chaos isn't really that new to me,
But how was I supposed to know,
Someone like you could endear me so.
Kinda short but you've those beautiful eyes,
And I'm thinking about you, as this poem implies.
And I don't really know what else to say,
But my dear my heart soars when you're like 'Hey'.

I don't want to remember, I just can't seem to forget,
every single moment, right from the offset.
That look in your eyes, made me feel so bad,
you were beautiful when jealous and now it's just sad.
Every word said on that night, still echoes in mind,
and try as I might, I can't leave it behind.
So a distraction was needed, and perhaps that wrong,
but I remember too much, from your voice to that song.

The entire world at my fingertips and I simply write your name
Countless people in this world, and I fall for one who can't feel the same.

I don't even know, what I'm pretending for
While pretending not to love you, I love you all the more.

I would give my life, I would give my soul
to just for a moment, once again feel whole.
Where went the time for us? I still got the scars,
I guess I wasted it, matching words to bars.
I want another moment, or hour, or day
to be happy, free and with you without life in the way.
But what I want doesn't matter, what I want I can't get,
so I'll be stuck with these feelings for a while yet.

The puzzle of my life and I let it fall apart,
I cared too much about it and I let it break my heart.
But I've got back all the pieces, they just no longer fit the same,
So I'll just grab it all and take it, take it right to the flame.
Watch everything I cared about start to burn away,
and once it's all just ashes maybe I'll forget that day.

I'm sick of writing poems that I'm never gonna send,
Why can't I just give up and let all of this end.
Why have I got to keep feeling like I care,
When I very clearly shouldn't since my dear you are not there.

**** it, those eyes, they aren't meant to seem so pretty,
and they shouldn't shine brighter than all the lights in this here city,
those lips really shouldn't make me feel the way they do,
it shouldn't matter, I shouldn't care, but my dear it's you.
Maybe I'm wrong, perhaps it's the lack of sleep,
baby I really hope I'm wrong, I've got promises to keep,
but with your all-too perfect eyelashes and really messy hair,
you've got me wondering if maybe I still care.

"Why don't you write something happy?"
Because it'd be a lie.
So no I won't write something happy,
not while I want to die.
Poetry isn't something choose,
it isn't just a skill that I use,
I can't make it stop, it's not my choice,
they're not my ideas, they're just in my voice.

I write a thousands stupid words because I don't know what else to do,
and I write them sitting here, pretending I'm not thinking about you.
Pretending I'm not thinking about your eyes that I totally don't miss,
nor thinking about how good it was, that last so desperate kiss.
Nor all those times we spent just laughing in your room,
because I refuse to sink back into depression's cold dark tomb.

Nothing good rhymes with happiness,
yet are you even surprised?
Happiness just gets you hurt,
it's just a ploy they've devised.

Happiness is disappointment,
but a stupid waste of time.
But I thought that you were worth it,
just like you're worth this rhyme.

Your eyes are still the same grey-blue
In every way you are still you.
Yet your smile’s not warm, your voice not soft
You’re not sending, my heart aloft.
"I love you, I always will"
Yet looking at you, my heart lies still.

I guess we truly, weren’t meant to be,
Since there nothing between you and me.
Not kindness, nor friendship, nor even lust,
I was right, and all is dust.

And my heart screams 'leave me alone'
but a smile protrudes my mask of stone.
Everything hurts, beyond belief
but it's the happiest, kind of relief.
And that is the paradox you,
I don't want to talk, yet I love to.

Death is never the worst fate
Alas I realize this too late