I wish I had a life's moments eraser
To erase all the bad moments from others memories
But I would like to keep them in mine
They give me humility
They give me the charm and qualities I have now

I wish I were beautiful
So that I could not be so nervous when I talk to people

I wish I were a better writer
So that I could be famous for it

I wish I were a better vocalist and that I were musically talented
I can sing already I just want to be better

But I'm the exact opposite
I can't erase my bad moments
I'm not beautiful
And I'm an alright writer, I'm just not the best of them
I can sing good, but I'm just not great

*But I wish most of all to be able to have children someday

I need something new
A change of scenery
I need a good change,
and live my dreams in reality
I need new feelings
New body
New concepts
Sometimes I get them
Sometimes I just remember what I already knew
New things rarely happen
And I'm just tired of the same things
I feel like everyday's the same and I'm left to discover on my own
I feel like everything is grey and there's no color to behold
I need something new
And I've waited 16, almost 17 years
My whole life
And the only new thing that has happened is my body and mind
*Which I don't like

Step:
✔  1 Get a silly crush (something to compare later feelings with.)
✔  2 Move on, it's a silly crush
✔  3 Live on the outskirts of social interaction for a couple years
✔  4 Find a girl who makes you smile for no reason
✔  5 Wait a while, holding on to that feeling.
✔  6 This is no silly crush (you can compare, remember?)
✔  7 Tell her about it
✔  8 Watch her fall in love with a player
✔  9 Suffocate
✔ 10 Move away to college, miss her
✔ 11 Find a shady man in appropriate alley
✔ 12 Purchase lethal substance
    13 Use it