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Oct 28 · 28
Terri Oct 28
This poem be short
Like the
Unconditional love you promised
That had conditions
Oct 23 · 42
Terri Oct 23
Be part of my vanilla sky
As I am the black
                                                          and you
Would be the cream
That would complete the white

                                                         and me

In the midst chaos
Would graciously fal-;;,

Slowly Falling;
Slowly Stopping;
                                            [I would wish]
That my body
                           A C H E S
Into Oblivion,

My body systems crash
                                    p a r a l y z a t i o n
That would be the term
Just to have extra time
To lay with you.
Jun 29 · 49
Parallel Universe pt.2
Terri Jun 29
Maybe in a parallel universe
You being with me exists

I won't be the one chasing
You'll be the one running

Maybe in a parallel universe
I won't be the one who suffers
You'd know what it feels
What it's like to be stuck
In a sort of time loop
Thinking you have the chance
But clearly you don't

I won't be the one
Spending all this time
Thinking about your body,
You laying next to me
Holding you close
Through cold night's
And keeping you warm

Maybe in a parallel universe
You'd be the one
Trying to catch my attention
Falling to every bit of word
That comes out of my mouth

We'd fall in love with each other
And have a blind creation
Parallel universe part2 pt2

Jun 25 · 116
Insecurity Is Natural.
Terri Jun 25
Don't hate your smile
It's great
If you use that one me
Prolly make all my days in my life

You're pretty; It's pretty unique
Different; Unnatural; Deadly
Tell my mom that I love them
I'll be staying in a coffin for life
Because I'm dead over heels for you.

Don't know anime much but I'll watch for you
Got a Terabyte, I'll binge for you
Don't read manga but I'l read for you
Prolly learn japanese just to impress you
Just know that I'll always be here for you

Got all this loving;
And I'm ready to lay them all to you
#Dead #Over #Heels #For #You
Jan 24 · 360
Daily Feeling
Terri Jan 24
Hey now
Im feelin alright,
Now I'm all down,
My life's too hard
It's too hard,
I'm good again
**** you shot me down,
And again
And again and again and again,
To the point I'm staring down
Then I be calling
But no one's answering;
Won't be long before I'm gone
Won't be long before I'm done
I'm gone
I'm done
It's processing
Take care

Get the gun
Go down like k. Cobain,
Inside my mouth
Brain splattered all about
No goodbyes
Maybe a letter,
Sent to death it might

Will they,
If they,
If someone's looking
Direct'em to the cemetery
Tell'em he's gone
Tell'em he's done
It's too late
So much weight
The pressure got me done.
I hide behind my laugh
Then won't be long before I'm gone
Jan 16 · 88
Terri Jan 16
It's done, yeah
I think it's done,
My life is done
My head is gone
Better days didn't come
You didn't come,
You said you'd be there
But you never were

Blood out of my mouth
My cough's dried up
Blue skies up high
I just cant seem to understand why
Everything fell apart
As soon as I built them up
My minds a daze
They say I'm crazy, then
Wear my shoes for a day
And let's what you'll say
About the day
About the **** I go through
Every single ******* day;

It got me feeling that I'm flying
It got me feeling that I'm dying
My life is steering to the unknowness
My life is done, I know that's that
It's prolly bout time to say goodbye.
Dec 2018 · 94
try me
Terri Dec 2018
Can't stop!
--won't stop--
Take my vices away
Take my ******* away
Take my life away,

******* act like they know me,
You don't know what I go through
Don't even know the **** I do
The **** I always do;
The **** I have to do;
The **** I had to do,
To show your ******* ***
That I ain't what you see outside,
I cry at night that's what you don't know
I wish at night, that my mom lives longer
I wish at night , that my little brother
Don't grow up like a *******
Disappointment, full of vices, full of negativity
And short-tempered of a brother like me
Because you don't know me,
Wear my shoes for a day
You'll be surprised to see; yeah you'll be

so think about your words,
they ******* affect the hell out of me
Dec 2018 · 171
Terri Dec 2018
Everything is so clear now
When I let anger consume
When I contain pain,
And get irritated because of you,
Anger lead me to pain
And pain lead me to you,
Irritated because of your lies
Your false moves,
And the unspeakable truth
That you bury inside your head
That you should've said,
Yeah you should've said them
Now I'm lying in my bed
Thinking of the words
That you should've said,
Dec 2018 · 74
Terri Dec 2018
She said I shouldn't worry too much
She'll be there even if life gets rough,
I've been told that I'm not enough
But that's okay I've been told a lot

Every time I feel down to my core
And  my eyes get sore
I know she'd be there to cheer me up
Like how an elevator goes up
But it would come down, it would come down
It's like she presses the buttons to keep it up

I know I'm too much
She can't take that much
I feel that she's gonna give up
It's about time that she's gon give up
She's tired and got enough

I'm not that worth it and that *****
I won't be surprised
When the time comes
And I can't feel her care
I know because it was too much
All my problems were too much
And it was enough.
Dec 2018 · 76
Terri Dec 2018
Look up, Get high
Hope to die; Swear to live
Swear to leave, can't really wait
No matter what you say
Still gonna leave
Say the right words
or maybe not
Say the wrong words
Make it faster
Make me leave
Cause I can't take it anymore
Getting high then I go low
Going long then I feel short
I'm a lost boy, that's what they said
Got lost on my head; Abused my health
I'm a boy going all in; Life's at stake
Like a good poker game
Either win or lose
live or die; hope it's die
yeah what a waste ( I am)
I'm a waste of good life
Accident on the year 2001
Yeah something happened
An accident happened,
I happened
Dec 2018 · 63
I thought
Terri Dec 2018
I thought I was doing fine
Used the word fine
To define this feeling I can't define
But "fine" ain't the word, it ain't the feeling to
I thought I was feeling all better
I thought I was swimming better
I thought everything going to be better,
I was just drowning
Because I thought I was feeling better
It's not gonna feel good, never
Stop now, right now
End now, start now
Feel good, Feel good
How it would, it'll be good
Gone now, dead now
Good bye now; right now
Nov 2018 · 250
Terri Nov 2018
I'd be swimming in my ocean
Swim till I drown and
I know that my arms will worn out
****'s gonna get good, hope that I'll feel good,

Leap in that deep ******* water
Dive till I reach the end and never come back again,
But I don't wanna drown,wait maybe I do
End it when my head goes under
And count to ten and wait till it's over,
Used to be a cloud up high
That's what you'll feel
When you're always that high,
Smiling like a 9-year-old with a candy
If it drops down, you know it's about to get teary
Well that's what I feel, that's what I always feel

Now I'm at the edge, thinking about to end it,
Everything just seems to fall apart
And I don't wanna be a part of it
I don't wanna be the cause of it
Say no goodbyes and just go on with it
It's now or never, end it now before I get sober,
I'll be swimming deeper now
And leave the world forever
Nov 2018 · 60
Terri Nov 2018
Got a bad habit of smoking
Good thing that ****'s helping,
Then I get high again;
What a nice feeling to forget things
Drink till I'm intoxicated
Scream out the pain
That's inside of my chest
Talk about the things in my head;
What I want to do with me
To dust off all the discomfort,
That I've been having all my life,
I'm all in this together, because
Everyone gave up on me
Maybe I'll give up on myself also,
Tired of the torment in my life
Because of thinking of someone's there
To reach out, to hold my hand till the very end,
I should just hold my own
Hope that I'll be there when I float again
Then fall down and catch myself
And end all the pain
That's just a paraphrased
Of " End myself"
Nov 2018 · 117
Terri Nov 2018
accompanied with difficulties
not by difficulty in breathing
nor difficulty physically,
but the difficulty of lacking
of the feeling of an emotion
pertaining to a human *****
that keeps the blood circulating
my body moving, mind; thinking
the heart, that is, that's it
that's what I'm speculating
being the power of everything
that keeps my useless body moving,
my mindless head thinking
and the lack of something
that to me means everything,
that no one is giving, because
I lack the courage of asking
because who am I to receive?
of that something I always give
eyes;swollen due to the
twenty four seven crying
hands weary, eyes yet teary
nonstop of giving everyone my hand
yet they don't notice, my arms worn out,
dropping tears to my paper that I tear
yet no one got my attention
that I'm in tears, weeping
of this something, that is causing
all this pain inside my chest
and got me questioning
do i really need to be here?
when no one is there to hear
should i leave now? for good
for the better of everyone?
and take my place 6 feet down below
because it hurts, it hurts, it hurts
everything that is happening to me
it hurts, so much, tha- th-- that
sometimes i don't feel it no more
and just give myself thoughts
to end everything for good
for the sake of the pain
for the sake of everyone
that it's much better without me,,,
words can be knives
several of it already pierced me
and i wont be surprised by myself
if i pierce one to myself ,,,
push hard through the heart
and end all the pain and suffering,
i -i just want everything to end
i- i-i ---it really hurts
i just want it to end
Oct 2018 · 90
take me away
Terri Oct 2018
Take me away
Because I'm tired of all this ******* in my life
Take me away

Because no one was never really there for me
Take me away

End my misery and all the pain
Because every single day I'm losing myself
I can't maintain the comfort that I get
What I could maintain is the pain that I cause
Myself, to lose me, to lose myself
To lose every single person that is true

Take me away
I don't know what I'l do anymore

Take me away
Because you said I was someone to you
But sadly you say that to everyone
Now I feel like I'm  no one
Oct 2018 · 96
Wicked Feeling
Terri Oct 2018
She doesn't consider
Everything I do for her
She doesn't consider what I feel
She said "you're important to me"
What the **** did she make me feel
Now my hearts for to heal
Because of all the false emotion
That she's wiping to me like lotion
Now my heart's in a spiral motion
Confused of who you really are to me
And what you to me that's confusing
You a cold hearted a person
But you're just like that to me
I'm the honey bee that will be buzzing
Looking for a flower to open up to me
*** you closed when I tried to
Give you all my honey and my loving
Oct 2018 · 383
Away with reality.
Terri Oct 2018
Gimme dope, *** I can't cope
Up with reality, build myself a fantasy
Create a world just for me
And take me off this reality
I don't wanna be in this world
No more,can't take the **** anymore
It's bad the way people treat me
Specialy I thought who was true to me
Like I was **** that nobody sees
Tired of always giving what I can give
Never recieved what I should recieve
Never felt the love I always give
Because who am I to feel that ****
Always the one there for them to hear
But "them"s not here to hear my ****
Goes to one ear and out to the other
They be like that to me,always,will be
Because I'm a nobody, to somebody
Wait,no, oops, I mean to everybody
Realized that I was someone
If they need something or everything
And when it's done they be gone
That's why I'm building a world
Just for me, I'm just the one in it
*** all my life I'm always beside me
*** I'm the only one that's got me
And probably in a robbery
Imma be the robber
And steal me away and up
In my world, in my self-made fantasy
I hope that's what will hapen
If I shoot myself with a gun
And finally be gone and
Be in my fantasy,
Do everything what I can do
Just for me to be in fantasy.
Oct 2018 · 64
dancing with my demons
Terri Oct 2018
They're here now
Came to dance with me
Been so long, since I've felt
This happy in my life,
Was lost & confused
Inside my head, dead
And fed up with the *******
That everyone puts me through,
Just wanna dance with my demons
Forget about everything that hurts me
And maybe take me away forever,
Finding peace was hard for me
Maybe peace had to find me
But chaos was just the one present
And gave me the way to my demons
That I dance with, Whenever I feel alone
Oct 2018 · 80
Terri Oct 2018
Get you,
I can't
Love you,
I can

Finally we
Met each
Other and see
What we
Are bound
To be
Even if
It was
Only me
That was
Able to
See the
Future of
Us of
What we
Could be
I hope
You'll have
Same feelings
Like me
To you
And you
To me
Beacuse for
Me we
Are bound
To be
We are bound to be
I know its absurd, crazy to say
But that's what I feel
That's what I see
Of what we can be
Or what we could be
Sep 2018 · 167
I'm done
Terri Sep 2018
I'm done,,I,, I'm done; With you
Where were you when I needed you?
I was by your side when you needed me
I was on my knees wiping my tears
because of the fear of losing someone really true
though you  built me up for something good
but you just did that for self-amuse
now my heart's ****** up just because of you
my feeling's mixed up like gin & juice
now i got demons up in my head
can't **** them *** my angels dead
i dont give a **** what happens next
*** im  a lost boy like peter pan
now get me off this never land
*** im never ******* with you again
because im sick and tired of you
in other word im done
Sep 2018 · 91
tHe CuT ofF
Terri Sep 2018
Listening to your voice
Used to keep me sane,
Now when I hear them
It makes me insane;
Just wasn't the same no more
You weren't the same no more
You weren't there no more
I had no one anymore,
You were my company
When I was all alone,
You're gone now
Because I left, I had to
I had to leave for the better
I wasn't feeling better,
Well you made me feel hell,
tHe cuT oFf, that's what I call
I hAd tO cUt yOu oFf
You weren't true to me,
You won't even notice tHe cUt oFf
That's how untrue you are
I knew you weren't there
It was juSt aN ilLusIon
An illusion of you
But the true image
Was not really shown.
Sep 2018 · 170
Terri Sep 2018
I'm there for you,24/7
Always gonna cheer you up, 24/7
Turn your bad days to good days, 24/7
Comfort you when you feel down, 24/7
Always be by your side 24/7
I'm always gonna do that to you, 24/7

It hurts me the most that you
Are not like that to me
It makes me weak so much
Not being special to you
Because I thought I was,
I thought,,, I was, I'm not
But you are to me
I'll always look after you
Because I'm concerned,
Worried and Scared
On what might happen to you
Because I care for you, 24/7
I'm Concerned 24/7
I'm Worried 24/7
I'm Scared 24/7
I'm Always 24/7 to you
Even if I'm not 24/7 to you
Sep 2018 · 271
They Dont.
Terri Sep 2018
To all the people I've annoyed
I'm sorry for being annoying
To all the time I wasted on people
I'm sorry for wasting them

Always asking if everyone's alright
But always the one being asked that
Always the one making everyone okay
But always not the one that's okay
Not also asked on how I'm feeling
But that's okay I understand
I'm nothing to everyone
No one gives a crap even
If you show them you're not okay
They wont ask
They wont notice
They wont care
They dont care.
Thanks friends for being liked that to me haha
Sep 2018 · 191
fUck l0Ve
Terri Sep 2018
No more happiness for you!
You built me up like buttercup
And you've let me down
too many times
You don't appreciate me
Especially the things I do 4 you!
Attachment is ****** up
Specifically at you,
But dettachment's more ****** up
I just wanna dettach from you
So **** l0ve; *** now I hate y0u
You don't give a ****
From the l0ve I give to you!
**** l0ve **** l0ve **** l0ve
And God bless you.
Hi nnaejdjidosow
Sep 2018 · 1.6k
Terri Sep 2018
Our eyes interwind
I hope we'll able to find
Our love for one another
And both realize that we,
We are bound for each other

Each step I take
To get close to you,
Each effort I make
Just to please you,
Yet unnoticed
Now knowing
the love I have
The love I'll show
Will be nothing to you
I would've took the stars for you
I know it's impossible, but
Getting you is impossible too.
Sep 2018 · 191
An Accident.
Terri Sep 2018
The lord wasted a life
A life given to me
That I shouldn't have,
I was just an accident
No plan was planned
For me to be in this world
And I am just an annoyance
To people around me
I just waste their time
And they waste their's for me
And I apologize if I
Annoyed you,
Not enough,
Always being silly,
Not that good on things,
Oh how I wanted to be dead
Oh I want to take my own life
But it's a mortal sin,
So I hope I die just the way
I got into this world
An Accident.
Sep 2018 · 203
Amen 2
Terri Sep 2018
If love is a religion ,
And you're the God
I'd probably be an atheist

I wont worship you no more
Just a false god that is no true at all
Decieved by your nature
And I, was your fool
Use like a tool, me, the fool
Falling for everybit of words
That comes out of your mouth,
I wont believe them no more,
Fell on deep dispair
That I thought you'd be at care
Thus you're just a god
That I thought to be true.
Check my profile for 'Amen' if you guys are interested on d first one
Sep 2018 · 3.7k
Terri Sep 2018
If love is a religion,
And you're the God
I'd probably be an atheist

If the things you say
Are holy gospels
I'd probably burn them to hell

You're on my mind again
Attending your company
Like mass' on sundays
But I'd rather be at home
Rather than to worship
Your hypocriteness
The things you do
Doesn't match the things you say
You've made oaths, vows, promises
But that's at least what I think
You broke every single one of them
And it's ****** up, it's ******* me up;
You split my heart
Like how moses split a river
Crossing it quietly
But when you crossed
You left an unholy mark
Making it bleed, making me hurt
I have no idea what I did to you
But next time I see you,
No more, I wont;
I wont worship you no more.
Sep 2018 · 620
lo[v/s]ing you
Terri Sep 2018
Loving you
Losing you
Hoping one day
I would get you
To be with you,
Trying for you
Hurting to be with you

Loved you
Lost you
Then that one day came
I didn't get you
I'm not with you
Tried for you
Still hurting
But im not with you
Because im not with you
Loving and losing
Aug 2018 · 115
Eth gRape
Terri Aug 2018
Eth grape
That i once saw fall from your mout
Dripping cold ; looking bold
Doubt that i felt from you
Doubt that i will be for you
Doubt that my Eth gRape
Was gonna be you
Love eth
Aug 2018 · 272
ch Ange
Terri Aug 2018
don't change,
stay the same, stay like that
tell me
if you cried
if you got problems
if you're annoyed
tell me everything, tell them to me darling
I'll make you days
I'd do anything you say
just don't change
im begging you girl
don't change
Jul 2018 · 298
i love you
Terri Jul 2018
what is love ? what is love without you ? would it still be called love ?
if this feeling i feel for you is called love
then i think i'm in love with you
even if it hurts so so so much
and even if you tell me you love him
more than anything in this world
even he is your number 1 priority
and i am that number 2,
even if he always makes your day
and i'm just that guy you talk too
when he's not entertaining you,
i am in love with you
i want you to be the happiest girl i know
even if he's the reason of your happiness
i won't stand in the way to ruin that
because i love you
i love you , i love you , i love yoU
Jul 2018 · 150
pas assez
Terri Jul 2018
from the beginning
i know i was not enough,
i  gave my [love] all to you
but for you it was nothing
i thought we had something
but for you it was nothing
Jul 2018 · 4.1k
Terri Jul 2018
4 am,drunk
thinking about you
feeling these feelings for you

crying, wiping the tears off
don't know if you should know,
the love i have for you

                                                       dazed & confused
                                                       what should i do?
                                                       do i have to do this?
                                                       what will i do without you?
                                                       lying down & almost sober
                                                       called you, the love i have
                                                       gave'em to you
                                                       but i wasn't enough

drunk in the morning
nothing on my mind
but your body,
you being with somebody
but not with me

out of all the girls,
they were my "more alcohols to come"
but you, you, you're different
you're my "more poems to come"
and that's me being drunk in the morning.
Jul 2018 · 228
[for] get U!
Terri Jul 2018
it happened once more
showing my love
to a friend i call
scarred & scared, of the past
that i once already did
lost something special
i lost a ******* the way
pinned her on my mind
never got the chance
to think of other girls
that i should love,
but only her
                                                      now im doing it again
                                                      sayin­g the love i have
                                                      for someone i couldn't have
                                                      leapin­g once more on that
                                                      thing called love that
                                                       i wanted to feel, for so long
                                                       and finally i thought
                                                       i'd finally feel love
                                                       from the person i love the most
but, here i am, just gonna
forget you, all the things
that you did, im not saying
that you hurt me or
did something bad
its just the experience i had
that i should forget about you
immediately, *** i know
you'll forget me and finally
leave me.
Jul 2018 · 23.8k
happiness 4 you
Terri Jul 2018
i only want you to be happy
                                                even if it being so, does not include me

i want the best for you; even if i couldn't be the one to give them to you

i want to be the one makes your heart melt;
i want to be beside you ever single second of my life
and most especially when you've had a bad day
EVEN if you tell me to stop wasting my time on you
i would gladly waste all my hours, minutes,seconds
days,weeks,months, EVEN YEARS
just to see you happy,

i want to give you all my love; but i don't have the chance to do so

clearly you love him; i love you
obviously i should stop trying;i love you
probably because i love you too much; its true
that i did not see the knife coming
that's about to go through my heart
and rip it apart, now it's gone
but,, at least your happy but just not with me
and now i'll stop trying; because just like i said before

i want you to be happy
                                       even it being so,does not include me
Jul 2018 · 235
Terri Jul 2018
i never saw the day
that i would have feelings for you
i never saw the day i’ll start loving you
yet here i am, saying it to you
how i feel, what i felt
when i first met you
the feeling i always get
when your here beside me
im terrified, that our friendship will end
just because i started loving you
obviously you wont love me back
because you love a different boy
im not good looking like him
im not even rich like him
i dont wear good clothes like him
but what hurts the most is that
i’ll never get the chance
to feel how you love someone
or how you love me,
maybe this is goodbye
im sorry,i love you
Jun 2018 · 3.2k
Terri Jun 2018
as the moment pass by,
                                       like how you passed me by
i saw your eyes
                          gaze through the sky,

as i look at you
                          i cant help but feel
the feelings i have for you
                                           oh how i wanted to say them to you

as the day turns into night
the sun goes down, the moon goes up
still cant get over how beautiful you were
when you were looking at the sky
now every time i look up
it reminds me of your beautiful blue eyes
just like the sky.
Jun 2018 · 184
h E r
Terri Jun 2018
i do not know how to say the thins i feel for her
it's consuming my soul, its bugging the **** out of me,
like the darkness inside a room when the lights are off
i never knew that you were the one that's going to turn on the lights
never knew that she'll be the one filling my emptiness,
never knew she'll bet the one making my days okay
but that's not the case
yes,she turn's the lights on,
yes,she makes the days okay
but that's just me thinking of her
she doesn't have a clue on what i feel about her
i always had the feeling when she's sad
that i should be the one cheering her up,making her happy
comforting her till she's okay and laughing
but i don't have the privilege to do that
and that makes me sad.

(i LoVe h E r)
(bUt sHe hAs zer0 cLue)
Jun 2018 · 5.3k
paralletic universetic
Terri Jun 2018
maybe in a parallel universe
                                                  i’d be finally hers
maybe in a parallel universe
                                                 i wont be the one chasing her
maybe in a parallel universe
                                                 i'd get to say the things i feel for her
maybe in a parallel universe
                                                 she’d say my favorite three words
maybe in a parallel universe
                                                 i'd get to marry her
maybe in a parallel universe
                                                   i'd get to grow old with her
well maybe,just maybe
in a parallel universe
                                    we’d be happily together.
Feb 2018 · 108
random shit #1
Terri Feb 2018
i think
you're very pretty,
people say
that i'm always correct
on the words
that i say.
Feb 2018 · 101
u too good
Terri Feb 2018
i want to be with you,

like how the moon has it's sun
like how the sky has it's stars
like how the rainbow has it's colors

the way i see you is far different from
the sun, the stars and the colors of the rainbow
your glow is no where near to how they glow
but the way, THE WAY, you shine
is just so fascinating to just stare at
i want to have you, i want you all to myself


you're like the planets in our solar system
you're too pretty
you're too fascinating
you're too far from me
and i won't be able to have you
because who am i to own a planet?
i just want to be with you, just be with you
and still there's nothing i can do.
Feb 2018 · 121
my heart
Terri Feb 2018
my heart

like the cars in the city when the red light pops,

like when the batteries inside a clock is dead
the tiks&toks just wont tik and tok

like how the sun stops shining when
the moon starts to rise

like how you told me to stop because
i ain't enough
Dec 2017 · 384
near perfection
Terri Dec 2017
I met her on 8th grade
cute smile,she was amazing
my friends really liked her,
after a few months we were together,
then comes the 9th grade
she was acting really different
she said she'll be doing an errand and
she was only with him alone
from that moment i knew something was wrong,
i was at an event when that happened
then after a few days
i saw the words "I love you too" in her phone
but i don't recall saying "I love you" to her that day
then my heart suddenly stopped
like how it stopped when i first met her,
oh how much pain did i felt that day,
did she get tired of me ?
was i not enough ?
am i that boring to be a company ?
"lets stop this now", last words
i ever heard from her when we were together,
she was so so so perfect, well i guess
perfect things aren't really perfect.

— The End —