tell me someone will love me
fully clothed
and

tell me someone will love me
with blood on my hands
and

tell me someone will love me
shaking, trembling, convulsing
and

tell me someone will love me
when they're searching for gold and i am rustic bronze
and

tell me someone will love me
with veins ripped apart
and

tell me someone will love me
with a starved stomach and empty eyes
and

tell me someone will love me
when i am dying
and

i'm asking you
//please love me//

maybe i fell  in  love  with the
way  you  would  look  at  me
and look away when i caught
you staring or maybe i fell  in
love  with  your   smile  when
you felt brave enough to keep
your gaze and maybe i fell  in
love   with   your  demanding
personality and your reckless
ability to abandon everything
or  maybe  i  fell  in  love with
your     dreams,     fears     and
twisted    thoughts   and   you
only   fell   in   love   with  my
s      u      r        f       a      c      e

i don't write
to please anyone
i don't write
for attention
i don't write
for compliments
i don't write
to make anyone fall in love with me

i write
because i feel
i write
because i need to
i write
because my mind is too loud
i write
because my mouth is too quiet

the rain beats down
and makes my hands sting
down to the center of my proximal phalange
creating incisions under my fingernails
so they form a pool of lavender and ashy blue
and the cold does not help
droplets will hit the ground and freeze
cutting down into my hallux
making my steps just as icy as my voice
and when the sun starts to run off
it leaves me alone with darkness
i cannot see
i hit walls
my head
and my knuckles
until i tumble down
and down
like a droplet
into the center of my proximal phalange
but this time
i dont feel a thing