We could hold hands until hell freezes over,
And we could dance delightfully until the day is done.
We could talk for time eternal,
But still I doubt that I’m your one.
I feel distraught by small dismissals
And abysmal when shot with shouts
Deep down I know our chance’s dismal
Our rugged road a wretched route
A slight smile to stopper doubt’s affliction
The price paid with a painful heart
But what a deal to forgo the friction
To keep from falling all apart.
A sinking stomach and belly of lead,
I think our expiration’s near.
I’m full of ******* frusturation,
But overflowing with fleeting fear.
For every moment we’re together,
Cuddled close for company,
I think about the approaching weather
The storm that shatters you and me.
If I were a bird,
I’d escape the cold in the winter,
And find love in the spring.
Be observed in the summer by lovers
Fly free through clouds and dreams
And chirp for all the world to hear.
If I were a bird,
I’d fear not shot nor snake,
And traverse the sky for the simple sake.
I’d rise high above all problems,
Rest in Redwoods tall as towers,
And nestle softly in the clouds.
If I were a bird,
Life would be grand
Life would be simple
Life would be easy
But alas, I am no bird.
No wings to carry me,
No voice to chirp songs of success
I am but a man.
With legs plastered to the ground,
And a heart too heavy to heave around.
So I leave the ballads to the blue jays,
And the chorus to the crows,
Instead, I type my feels out,
So at least a few will know.
I lay flat on my bed.
The silence is broken only by doors slamming a world away.
My eyes, glazed over towards the window.
Its three in the afternoon,
Yet, it feels like nighttime.
Tomorrow, I have another appointment
Maybe this time I will get help
Maybe this time I’ll **** myself
It’s hard to keep pushing forward
And I’m tired.
I don’t know what to do.
Everyone tells me that living is joyous
But for me, those moments are too few and far between.
I lie on my stomach, spine contorted
And listen to my fingers flick across the keys
My arms tingle from my elbows down,
And still I lie and wait
For something profound to come to mind
For anything that isn’t a cry for help to escape my hands
To feel an emotion that isn’t pain
My intention is not to be captious
But to illustrate the current of my emotions
And my current emotions
They change like the tide
That is, what I’m feeling inside
It is more and less than nothingness.
The sadness so thick that one could choke
Yet the antithetical is just as true
There is a numbness that lays deep
Beyond my elbows and to my heart
A deep depression,
And sometimes I fall apart
And rebuild through writing,
Label it therapy,
Label it art.
My thoughts grow in,
Dark and Dreary.
Found within me.
I sit and crumble
Try so hard
To ignore the mumble
The whispers saying
“No one likes you”
“Nothing to do”
What if it’s true?
What if some of us weren’t meant to be
Why do all these thoughts run free?
What is going on with me?
My bravado’s potpourri
My life defined by my fakeness
How will I ever grow to make this
The pain grows harder still to dismiss
Yet I still fade into the coulisse
Hanging not by a thread,
But by what hope is left instead.
By pushing thoughts out of my head
But still I wish that I were dead.
I'm not one to sneer at poetry that rhymes,
but that said, this particular piece could use some work.
Any feedback is greatly appreciated.
Last night I melted into you -
It felt like an eternity
It felt like a river flowing
Into an intense tranquility
Uncertainty tries to
unhing my sanity
But I know what I know
To be true
I flowed into you
Until we became one
And for once -
I didn't feel a lone
Because I knew -
I knew this is where
I feel your bones like my own for we are one
I can feel the gentle, rhythmic breathing
And the tepid touch of your skin
Soon the sun will rise,
And you must go to class
But you will mutter an excuse
Just to stay a minute more with me
I can hear your soft snores,
And muffled moans
Soon we will succumb to summer,
And it’s malicious motives,
To bisect your beauty,
From my greedy grasp
I can smell the shampoo
That I will never smell again
For I will move,
And you will move,
A Dispossessed Connection
Though our spring may have ceased
Our wilted whispers will never wane
Though my bed may be devoid
I’ll remember where you had lain.
I’ll remember our long laughs
And your sweet smile, more stunning than the stars
I’ll remember our wishful words
And the times that were ours.
*Written in the end of a night at the end of a year