I have this crush
Who is refreshing as cascading waters falling off a steep cliff giving me an invigorating rush.
Making me blush, Just from every gentle touch.

I got him thinking his brain must have a leak because I hear and understand the words he doesn't speak.
He holds me closely to him like Im his favorite guitar
As he plays powerfully singing heavenly giving off frequencies and vibrations of how strong our love is as it travels distances near and far.
My heart is is hiding a secret its complled to tell.
As if he has it under a spell
He is the sweetest taboo
Possessing stronger power and better magic than the African's voodoo
Its a divine kinda of love from Man who is Hebrew
Its Authentic, Pure and True.
Like A yo yo I unwind as I plunge endlessly into the endeavours of his wonderous mind.
This place in his mind was beautifully unconfined.
I almost went blind after being exposed to that radient light inside that shined.
It sparkled like galactic milky way.
He had me intoxicated as if I was sipping on Chardonnay.
He really had me feeling some type of way.
My soul was lit by a flame that I myself couldnt tame everytime his voice would uttered my name.
Its ashame how it drove me insane.
He waters me as the Earths summer time rain.
The temperature swealters like the Summer's blaze with every single, "I Love You" Pharse that potrays his passionate praise.
The affectionate chocolate kisses puts my mind at ease like the light wind blowing on my skin during the summers breeze
He makes my thoughts freeze like the chill of winter that nature's nose sneeze.
His fragrance smells like Hawaiian Febreeze
Like calgon he take me away like a plane flying overseas.
I escape off to my fantasy land
Where I am holding on to his hand
As I listen to the rhythm of his heart's beat and with him I slowly dance.
We become stuck in a trance of romance
Star gazing at one another looking starry eyed
Feeling the pits of our stomachs full of butterflies
Eating each others vibes like my mama's homemade sweet potatoe pie
The atmosphere shifts quickly like the autumn wind blowing ever so swift
The ambiance is amplied as our intense feelings electrifies as if we were the fireworks on the 4th of July
The sparks fly
Lifting our spirits as they acsend Toward the blanket of soft white cotton filled clouds in the sky.
The rapid beating pulse in our sweaty palms tells me that the engery doesnt lie.

The Fire has been kindled.
We have by passed the physical
Entered into the mental
To explore the Church's scared temple
Submerging One another in the pool of love as if its a ceremony for our own secret baptismal
Letting love take contol
Getting lost in each others soul as we close our eyes willingly letting go.

You are the Queen of my heart.
The Unfailing love for you will never part.
You are the most beautiful work Art.
For you I would cross the ocean, Climb The tallest mountain, and go to the ends of the earth, just to show you the truest value of you and your loves worth.

If you wanted the sun, I would run into the Deepest depths of the galaxy and bring it back to you to show you that I'm thankful for all that you have done.
I Wish I could give you the world on a silver platter
So that you could have a fairytale life living happily ever after.
Sometimes I wish I could bless your neck and wrist with diamonds and pearls.
Because Your love for me dances in my heart Ever so elegantly,  like a ballerina does her twirls.
For every sleepless night, broken heart, and every single tear you shed for me.
I Thank you for it all, even for loving me inspite of flaws, unconditionally.
I wish i could give you an abundance of sapphire Rubies
Just to show you how valuable of a treasure you are to me.
But I Don't all I have is my heart, my gratitude, and my love to offer you.
I'm so thankful for all the things you do.

"Paradise Wish"

I ambled on the beach to Explore
My bare naked toes touched the gentle waters cascading upon ths sandy wet shore.
As I Inhale the air, the taste was refreshingly pure.
Watching Birds taking flight
And slowly fading from My eye sight

I begun to be Entranced with the Reddish Orange Broad painted Horizon, where the waters meet up with the sun.
I close my eyes as Nature And I grew to be as one.
My soul breaks free and just runs.
My hair sways back and fourth with the coconut trees
My skin Tingles as it feels the cool ocean's breeze,
During the hour of Summer's Eve.

I open my eyes to behold the Golden sand
As it Shimmers like tiny bits of diamonds in the palm of my hand.
And out of no where Comes this Royal looking man,
Grasping a hold of my attention span,
Walking bold and strong like a sound of the drum in a band.

He was tall dark handsome, slim build, with a muscular physique,
I felt his Charismatic ambiance as it loudly begun to speak
Then it caress my forhead and kissed me on my left and right cheek.

And the whiff of his scent was ever so pleasant.
I had smelled an aroma mixture of shea butter and coconut oil.
He had me drunken with the overwhelming sense of being Joyful.
I was surrounded by his presence as I was the flower blooming with radiance and he was my healthy soil.

He was the Ripen fruit specially picked from the grape vine
That look so delectablely divine
I desired to let him Intoxicate me with his  fermented wine.
He Exhilarated me sending chills up my spine.
He Vitalize my mind.
As I left the stress behind, And continue to unwind.

The waters were Groving to thier own beat.
As the ocean laughed at my feet.
The Rippling saphire waves played a song soothingly.
And This beautiful man was being pulled closer to me as if nature took Conplete control over our space of gravity.

The opera of the sea danced all over our bodies and the waves became a tone serene and heavenly.
A Musically fine tuned medlody, like an voila in an orchestrated symphony.
He and I at this moment were ment to be.

My wrist against his veiny wrist
I couldnt resist,
Our tongues Exchanging salvia as they twist.
Who knew our passionate kiss lead to us swimming in the ocean's of love like 2 love making fish.
This is the place my heart longed to exist.
It had me thinking it couldnt get any better than this.

Until I woke up out of my sleep realizing I was only dreaming about my paradise wish.

Solitude, silence, peace, and quiet.
Passion, don't deny it, but rather apply it.
Conversations
that leads to Motivation,
requires patience
in complicated situations
with no limitations.
Compassionate with sincerity. Honest and Real covered with purity.
iridescence
is of the essence.
Precious significance in time implanted, in my brain like information saved on a hard drive. Aging like fine wine.
Encountering just a touch of a heavenly place,
Watching the Joy and laughter grow so gracefully upon her face.
Peace and tranquility a place that only seems to exist in the mind,
like a surreal dream captured in a moment thru space and time.
Respect is the detail and reverence  in Honor.
Looking in deep thought, Such pride and beauty that rest upon her.
Cherish is the adoration of treasuring, and protecting something most valuable of great prize.
What lies?
The Beautified feeling of when we get butterflies inside.
Just as the allegiance of obedience is Loyalty.
The king and queen are of authority you make her feel like a lady of such Royalty.
A relationship of deep endearment.
A level of intense intimacy and attachment is what love represents to me.

One  must learn from the mistakes no matter how long it takes.
I once use to tell myself that i was always the one to blame.
Man that use to drive me insane.
Crying out to The Most High Screaming and shouting his name.
Taking Beatings from feeling guilty hurt and shame.
like my heart was the target and Everyone had an perfect aim.
Stomp on used and abused by everyone I opened up to that came.
But everytime I got played like a video game.
So One day I desired to smoke me some mary jane.
I wanted so badly to drown my sorrow with her frame.
Just to numbing the pain Like novicane.
Until I was left with nothing but brokeness, stupidity, and a blind fool who was lame.
Negative Nancy Is whom I became.
The tears kept falling but yet I couldnt began to explain.
I felt stuck like my I was living my life in vain.
Like a house fire I was inflamed
How do you put out a fires flame?
Its by dancing in the rain.
Im telling you is a refreshing experience It was almost like It washed away the ***** stain.
Went in the storm muddy but came out of it never to be the same.
Thru the pain It was strength I've gain. 
The trails, tribulations, the hurricanes, storms and tornadoes I overcame.
Thru Yah I was able to Say Its Victory that I proclaim.
I pray that helps whip you into shape.
I guess I just needed my earth to quake.
Expose the fake that slithering among me as snakes.
We are human beloved sometimes We are do not bake  like the perfection of a bakerys cake.
So unfortunately sometimes our hearts do break.
But you are still A SUPERWOMAN even if you dont wear a cape.
Dont let this heartbreak be your way of drowning in a kryptonite lake.
Arise, and mediate,
All the bad vibes shake, shake, shake!
you have to Remember is that each breathe we take is way of escape.
I pray That you come out fruitful like a vine of ripen grapes.
From my heart to yours my beloved Agape

To whom it May Concern,
If dont have the spirit to disrcen.
You will not be able to understand us or learn.
We can take you to the point of no return.
Just as the skin being torched by sun, you can feel the burn.

You feed into us Everyday.
Especially when you listen to what other people say.  
Like shiny new toys, on your heart and mind we will play.
More often than not we will have you feeling some type of way.
Like obstacles you face in your walkway to overcome us you must pray.
We are like the waves of the oceans
Moving you left to right, upside down and round and around in a pattern of commotion.
Like a force we direct your feelings as the  river's current that causes a hostile motion.
We tend to change like the weather we have no devotion.
We can be magical or posionous like spells to secert potions.
Sincerely Your,
Emotions

I may not be A girl thats pretty
But for me please have no pity.
For I have personality that is humorously witty.
I may not be wealthy but I am spiritually
Healthy.
I may not have the perfect teeth
But thats the exterior for I am the interior person that lies underneath.
In your opinion I may not be worthy of your loyalty.
But its ok because My God Treats me Like Royalty
Loving and spoling me
Greater is He that Lives within thee
Whom protects  the treasure locked in my heart Because he holds the key.
I may not have the most most beautiful smile.
But I have hidden gifts with an artistic style.
I'm A free spirited juvenile my life is poetry expressed in the form a freestyle
Im a person of many coats I like to call it being versatile.
My people are rare we only happen once in a while.
Now
As you point out every single blemish
Just Know That My God is Not Finsished.
No Im not person that is hollier than thou
For a made a promise, I took a vow
So To my majestic Savior humbly I bow.
To Gaze upon his glory
As he stands before me
So pure And holy
I may not be The person you think I should Be
But Im Yah's Creativity made Imperfectly in his Image fearfully and wonderfully.
It its little things and The joy it brings.
I May not be a lot alot of things
But I am the A child of The Most High King
Spiritual unique personality is what I have to bring while God's love serenades you as it sings.

You see
I have the tendency to fall in love so easily
especially with a kindred soul,
but it always seems to end in a catastrophe.
Maybe because I preconceived it in a manner Viewed only religiously.
And search for it in people, The Sun, the moon, the stars, and the infinite galaxy but I always ended up feeling empty.
Until the day you came my way and opened my eyes to see only to be blinded by your truth
you leave me vulnerable and as open as a room without a roof.
Its Like I'm thirsty for something real and your  living waters hydrates me to quench  the parchedness of my desiccated soul.
For I was the driest desert until you poured upon me Your showers of cascading rain.
You are my shalom and joy in the middle of my most excruciating laboring pain.
You are my momentum, You help me maintain.
I hope that these words I Write Will uncover the expressions of what I can hardly explain.
Now I'm hungry for something more than what I am currently experiencing and your vibes nourish my psyche. And the times when I felt alone and worthless I felt your powerful presence surrounding me. Your energy embraces me with open arms. Your spirit speaks to me. You comfort me both knowingly  and unknowingly.
You see straight thru the physical me As if I was an image of transparency. Apparently, when you look at me you see my hidden identity, My true colors, my passion, The Awaken me, the Conscious divinity, The God in me.  Your deep  Still voice is soothing.   Your words are comforting. You captivate me intellectually.  I cherish thee for you are many of the written pages in my diary. You Motivate me. You inspire me. I'm in crave for you.  My father the Most High.  Who knew my soul before it arrived, before I was even a twinkled light in my mamas eye. Before I became a caterpillar that morphed into a spiritual butterfly. And Yet and still, my brain cant even Begin to fathom the various reasons as to why. Why, your love for me is unconditional and is as endless and beautiful as the powder blue and cotton ball sky?
More the reason to ask you why?
Why, have you saved me, saved me from my sinful nature of iniquity?
Setting me free from the shackles of wicked principality.
Exposing my lies to face the Realness of reality.
You made me a Valuable Commodity
Becoming A product of Grace, authenticity, And honesty
You are shaping me into The woman you have predestined me to be. Yahweh I Thank you ever so graciously for guiding me on this spiritual journey. For It is you who leadth me.....

His words takes me to that beautiful place
The place where his words are like
Love's arms of warm embrace.
And Like Sweet Nectar of honey I must have a taste.
His words grows a Blissful smile upon my face
His words are like a Boost to my immunity
His words are like the equivalent to Vitamin C
His words pack Calcium like Vitiamin D
His words Promotes the Sunlight Sparkling for all see
His words are like herbal Tea
Therapeutic like therapy.
Our conversations Suspends me in estacy

I was as cold as a winters freezing night
Then he approached me in way that was so polite
I was literally standing still but my heart took flight
To a new demention to a new hieght
Man I felt like I was flying high as if I were his kite
His Expression of phrases fromulated a Euphoric picture in my spiritual and physical sight.
I swear I tried so hard to fight
But when he spoke to me his words became the heat and I melted me like ice
I wish i could have relived that moment twice
The things he would say were as beautiful as The sun setting upon The San Francisco Bay.
His Statements stops the time in the middle of the day.
This Man is the Very person for whom I silently did pray.

His words compliments me just as the Cocoa Butter nourishing and healing the Imperfections of my complexion So Like lotion the more we talk the more he rubs it in.

His Messages are so powerful that when he speaks I am complelled to feel Humble and meek.
Is this the peak at which His Intellectual geek is Attracted to my Spirtual freak discovered by the Sensational vibes we both seek?
His words soften my heart like silk sheets
Yet are as smooth as a leather jacket so sleek...
His Words are The Vibes that I crave One of A kind and So Unique........

"Love's Pool"
In the pool of love thier beautiful bodies took a dip.
Thier internal temperatures elevated so the faucet of thier impassioned frames drips.
He amorously tastes the softness of her juicy luscious lips as if they Were the spring of water his thirst desired to sip.
Voyaging on this boat of passion while back and fourth it whips.
Gently nuzzling the curvaseousness of her
Womanly child baring hips.
Her soul case he fervently grips.
He takes a moment to just to see Her big Brown eyes as a Star twinkling back into his eyes
As they erotically swim together in profound oceans cascading between their thighs
Their bodies were Intertwining like a braid but their spirits were like rivers as they rise.
Her bodacious body and his masculine physique were climaxing reaching their loves peak.
As they were coming down they both let out a sensual shriek.
Letting it all just flow as they let their tenderness speak.
They dived in the water too deep.
They are left feeling tired and weak.
They Quietly Stare
Because All they see is the glistening skin they bare.
down to the crown; The curly thick ombres of Natural, gravity defiant, untamed hair.
They lit a match where both their souls sparked and man that **** is rare.
They swam together in unity and oneness as they feel in thief being magical energy they share. It  just showed them that beneath the surface of their hearts they both do truly do  care.

Has the close of day ever have you morph into something you were not meant to be as if you were Optimus Prime.
And The darkness strikes you like Evening skies strikes the earth at 9.
And like a scared baby you whine?
And you become Depressed like a prisoner who screams for help from the bars they are locked behind.
Trapped in box space in a moments time whose senses are growing blind as The negative thoughts chills the spine.
Dont be The Inmate Whose thoughts put you in a place to be confined.
Go to Your that happy place In your mind
and Reverence The One Who is Truely Divine in that peaceful place of Shrine.
Because The battle for right choices begins in our minds.

Like a grain planted into the ground I will be sowned,
So the produce from my seed will be grown, and Thru you My fruitful offspring will be shown.
I cant be bought so Im no one's to be owned.
Im like no other you have ever known.
I am good for you like the sweetest cantaloupe and honeydew.
I cling to the blades of your grass like the  Morning's due.
You are the canvas and I am the brush with my kindness I paint you as the serene skies a beautiful hue of Indigo Blue.
I am Honesty, Pure, and true.
My life I gave just so your soul I could save
For you, I the faced death so brave
Yet you barely desire me, not even so much as a crave.
This not just for Show
I want the whole world to know
I care for so.
You are in debt to me and Your heart is what you Owe
Some would want to put me on display like a family portrait hanging from a frame.
And like luggage many have tried to have me bagged, tagged, and claimed.
Some tried to condition me but couldnt even have me maintained.
Too many Put me in a straight jacket and had me restrained.
So Like water being removed from a fountain they have left me Drained
Making a mess of me like red wine spilled on the carpet I have been Stained.
Like a sword that pierced my side I endured your agonizing pain.
Hand in hand I walk with you even in shame.

But you say that Im the one to blame
When indeed I only came
Because it was you who called upon my  name
You traded me in for fortune and fame.
And My Darling my compassion for you is still the same.
My affection For you never changed it will always and forever remain.

People will say that they regret the day we met.
Just because they see themselves like a butterfly trapped in a net.
Having an enclosed mindset.
Not realizing you need me like a pet needs its Vet.
The rejection and pain you've experienced you will soon Forget.
I can Cleanse you without ever getting you Wet.
Its a process and im not finished with you yet.

Im am beyond your control,
I came embedded into your soul
Taken your Brokenness to make you whole

Swallow me like a pill,
be still and allow me to do my will.
Ill give you the strength to climb even the steepest hill as I pour my spirit into you like an empty cup to fill,
Just for assurance sip me and taste and see That I am real.

As you sit back and reminisce,
Are you drowning in life's Abyss?
Wondering if something so beautiful as This Can really truely exist
Moving you in a state of bliss, interlocking with our souls first kiss.

I fit you like a glove,
I fall on you like rain from the heavens above
My presences is engaging and graceful like a flying white Dove.
Hello name is love.

I'm like a hot sunny day and your like a tornado that runs the peace and sunshine away.
You are the equivalent to Destruction happening at anytime of day.
But See I blame me.
I take full responsibility
I ate from the fruit of the poisonous tree.
Which I knew was forbidden of me
Because it would bring death spiritually.
Then I had become Infected Immediately
In my viens flows your L-O-V-E
Impairing my 5 senses indefitely
Blinded by love so I couldnt see.
That I was no good for you and you were no good for me
But something has shocked me and awaken me to face lifes reality
After you Beat me, and stripped me naked like nudist
Made me feel stupid and useless
Maybe your problem is too deeply rooted
Or is it cause you cant handle what my truth is.
Truth is you Make me sick like lupus.
But ill get thru this
...... Cause Like The Messiah I needed a Judas.
So Yes I blame me for letting you infect my mind my thoughts with your poisonous energy.
But today is the day I decide I'm no longer going to be held in your captivity.
Im breaking free. No more chains holding me.  I hold the key to my liberty.
So now instead of blaming me I am training me.

Is this love? Could this be true?
Why is it that you and only you
Have me feeling the way I do?
Like to you I'm transparent so you can see straight thru?
I must Construe,
that your love perceives as some type of voodoo or taboo.
It Amazes me how you have me seeing the world in a whole new view.
Out of the blue,
I get the sense of deja vu.
That warm fuzzy inkling of butterflies I get inside
Got me questioning, and  wonder, "Why?"
What's behind those beautiful big brown eyes?
Are you full of truth or just a bunch lies?
Before I began to sensitize
I must analyze and rationalize.
Can you and I actually Harmonized?
Become one and unify?
Can you love me beyond the hurt and pain?
Help me maintain and let love Reign?
Be Imperfect With absolute certainty?
More Importantly,
I need you to be like my Therapy.
With Absolute sincerity,
Love, Honor and Cherish me unconditionally,
For Eternity.
Baby are you feeling me feeling you?
Is This sensational notion just a sneak preview?
Is this love could it be true?

You are in my verse to create our own youniverse.

Just when you think worry and fear will always be there
This is what you should be mentally prepare
W.O.R.R.Y

Wandering aimlessly
Obessional overthinking
Restricted &
Restained
Yielding to the mind, the thoughts in our brain.

You cannot say you have faith in The most high and worry.
Maybe your sight is off and your vision is just a little blurry.
Worry is a slight stumble in your walk of faith. Faith is trust. Have Faith and believe is a must.
Trust is having the ability to stand firmly in The assurance of someone or something with absolutely certainty.
Worry limits your endless amount of Possibility.
I hope you are listening to me.
A faith defined by worry is an immobile one.
Worry can be a bullet in a loaded gun.
So Dont worry for Worry tiggers fear.
Fear that you have you feeling like the End is near.
F.E.A.R.

False
Evidence
Appearing to be
Real
Fear is unreal just abunch of emotional turbulence we feel.
Dont fear hurt because you would never know comfort.
Fearing is something we need to abort.
Dont fear Pain. Because pain bares strength.
Dont fear being broken because you would never know what is feels like to be made whole.
Dont let fear be In control
Dont fear falling because it gets better when you arise.
You will be suprised Once you think and realize.
Dont fear rejection for Its Yahs Guidance and redirection.
Just keep yourself deep in the truth.
And try your best to learn from your mistakes so we can help redirect our misguided youth.

Have you ever felt so volatile
That you would beg God take your life Right here right now.
Struggling to stay postive but you just dont see how.
Life hits you with a Right hook, next a left hook, then shoots you 2 twice, pow pow.
Then you start Thinking to yourself, "Man Wow!"

As I look at my life I see nothing but shame and dishonor.
Father,
So many negative thoughts I Ponder
Then my mind begans to wonder.

Drowning in my own brain I became obstuct like i was sitting in the car, in the middle of a traffic jam, just stuck.
Down on my luck.
Fear and doubt would aggressively poke
And depression begun to grab me by my throat and I would violently choke.
In my tears i would soak because my wicked ways left me dead and broke.
I went astray, knowing that for my transgressions I would have to pay.
No matter what trials came my way.
I foughter harder and harder every day
So Finally I got on my kness confessingly  I begun to pray.
Because my Spiritual Corruption lead me on a path of destruction.
So my life had to be taken in an abduction So I could hear God clearly when he gave his reintroduction.
From then on, Living to serve God became my function.
The Father, The Son, And the Spirit and I became 1 supernatural junction.
Now Im a believer Under construction.

I've accepted the Conversion.
Because I Know he Exist For Certain.

Suddenly my life started changing.
Order took place as things started rearanging.
Like clay in the hands of a potter he started molding and shaping me.
Remaking me a version of authenticity!
I share his truth declaring it with audacity, as he helps me walk according to whom he has predestined me to be.
Like an athlete going through reconditioning
My spiritual man is quickening.
My soul begans to Awaken.
With each biblical reading I take in.
There is healing from within.
It so Intoxicating like a kiss to the skin.
Just being cleansed from sin leaves you feeling Invigorating.
Going through this modification Ive seen much alteration.
God has remove things with the process of elimination.
Just as a butterfly going through metamorphosis is lesson in grade school education so is a spiritual journey of Transformation.
I'm becoming believer In Formation!

Just Experienced a Spiritual Cleansing
Even those wicked ideas that entered my mind from the very begining.
He purged me from my awful ways of sinning.
He purified my mind and changed my way of living.
Time to do The correct Thing.
Live My life pleasing my My Heavenly King.
So Yahweh take this of words as a symbolic form for a wedding ring as my offering.
Inhale........
Exhale .........
Ahhhhh Refreshing!
Professing and Expressing all the many marvellous blessings.
Just being in his extended arms of caressing.
Towards the mark Im suppressing
Suggesting that Im Progressing.
Yahweh you are the best thing.
Its in you that I find my nesting.
You are The wind beneath my wings
The lyrics to the songs I sing.
You are my Everything
You are is My Identity
Your spirit fills the inside of me.
There is No one Greater
Than My Magnificent Savior,
You are My Wonderous Creator
You are the air That I breathe.
My thoughts before they were conceived.
Your love is so soothing,
Theres evidence of you moving.
Abiding in me ruling,
The reason why my soul is healing.
What a wonderful feeling!
Intertwined with spiritual insight
So Majestic, Golrious with Delight.
I Thirst for wisdom being quenched
From the moment I fell in love with you it all made perfect sense.
The more Time I spend in your presence
Im am convinced
That you gotta be Heaven-sent.
Ive never felt this real and so intimate.
So this relationship must be legitimate.
You took me out of my element.
Digging deeper into the old and new testament.
Like a camera you used the negatives for my development.
You gave me a new diet a new regiment.
Showed me Compassion and love, you are very affectionate.
Thank you For my getting me thru my 3 prerequisite:  which is Being Real, Being Righteous and Being Relevant.
You shaped me draped me into a modern day woman of Proverbs 31.
Im forever grateful for all that you have done.
Ill try to do my best not to break our spiritual covenant for with that comes an eternity fire of suffering and punishment.

Have you Ever Felt Like You aren't a success because you feel rather less than the best.
Well please Listen to my request:
TRUST THE PROCESS!
For it shows that you are Making progress.
God is prepping you for A favorable outcome.
So hold on tight because he is not yet done.
These Additives are a requirement
To bringing you out of the old and into your new environment.
Out of Obedience I give to you the following Ingredients:

Add a teaspoon of hopelessness with a pinch of replusiveness
Pour a cup of Persecution, and  Mix it with neagtive thoughts invading the mind with pollution.
Next Add a spoonful of Despair.
Just a dash of feeling loneliness here and there.
Sprinkle in the feelings of failure and doubt
Because day in and day out you don't see things working out.
Stir in a pint of Suffering.
Just enough to leave you Uttering, "LORD, I NEED YOUR GOVERNORING"
Add a gallon of Sorrow with
Prayers and hopes of the pain ending tomorrow.
Mix in a few drops of Tears
As You seek Counsel from The Big Man Upstairs.
Put in a hint of Embrassment from the harassment due to impaired judgement.
Stir in the Dissapointment for You need to Go through this to get your anointing.

Then, Humbly we come to seek you in despartion
Bringing to you our circumstances and current situation.
Blend in the Senation of Humiliation
Now watch the beautification and Wonders of your transformation To His Marvelous  Mastepiece: His Beautiful Creation.
This was all a part of The Process
So his love you could gain access to and possess, dwell within you just so you could be blessed and exchange for our heavy burdens for Rest.
These are The Ingredients For Success!
If you never Experience poverty, being striken and ill health
You would never know the true meaning of  prosperity, riches and Wealth.
SO I DARE YOU to Trust Yah as he guides you on this journey to finding your true self.

While God is trying to teach me valuable life lessons.
Here I am in deep thought Stressing.
Every since I was an adolescent
I have battled the scary demons of depression.
Emotionally distraught
With a heavy heart I fought.
Broken and incompasciated
So Limp and feeling faded.
Weary and frustrated
Alone in the world so cold
Only The Father has the control to break the stronghold.
Hopelessness and despair
Finally I get on my knees and say the Lord's prayer.

Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name.
Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.
And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil: For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever. Amen.

I refuse to have A weak end. When I know trusting in Yah changes the heart of many men.
Time and time again
The only one on whom i can depend
My lover and friend,
My Father is The Alpha and Omega The Begining and the End.
Praise Yah Amen.

What is it to have eyes but cannot see,
Ears but cannot hear,
A brain but cannot think,
A nose but cannot smell,
A mouth but cannot speak,
A tongue but cannot taste,
Hands but cannot touch,
A heart but cannot feel......

You can't come to your senses when you are senseless.
Its kinda like being placed in a war blindfolded and left to fight defenseless.
You cant see them when they are coming,
And you dont know where you're going.
You are Slumbering and Unaware that you are existing in a state of being Unconscious,
While The Most High Is Declaring his presence Among us
Once you Awaken to the truth your senses will become active.
Your soul and vibes become attractive
Will Ignorance continue to hold you Captive.
Or will Choose The Divine Authentic Truth That's life changing, Powerful, and massive.

What is Love?
Can you see it? Is it an action?
Can you sense it? Is it a Compassion?
Could it be A warm kindness that soothes the soul's satisfaction.
Or It could even be Intensely deep feelings of affection?
Is it Adoration? And Must it be taken in moderation.
Is it just a sensation from one heart to another to Place in.
Or idolization of infatuation?
Maybe just a fragment of attachment.
Upon a moment's first glance,
does it becomes a chance for romance
that makes heart wanna flutter about and dance.
Love is a ministry
Its covers a multitude of iniquity.
Love has the ability to care unconditionally.
Love lives inside each one of us, you and Me.
For God is love and Love is God.
Love conquers all against every odd.
We are suppose to Love and serve one another.
So spread to your sister and your brother.
Love is the only way to stop hate.
Let hate evacuate
So you can allow the love Of The most high permeate.

Looking at my life in my in observation
I was overcome with Frustration
Because of my circumstances and situation.
The present person of relation
had led believe that my trails and tribulations had made put me in a current state of vegetation.
As he slowly tried to Control my life by his evil plot of *******.
The more I tried to make an alteration
The more I tend to get into another altercation.
Lord Ive tried to be patience.
But this thing Im struggliing with has changed my spiritual location.
Giving in to temptation is the validation of where lies your process of transformation.
Because The biblical truth says no condemnation.
Living the Word is my job, my occupation.
So Now Im Guilty just by accsociation
In the world, I lost my identification.

From the human naked eye Im looking at my outter appearance Asking myself, "Really, Whom Am I?"
Am I a dove that gracfully flies so high in sky?
Immediately, I take a deep breath in and begun sigh.
Simultaneously I then break down and begun to cry
After being exposed to so many venomous and poisonous things makes me just wanna die.
So Next I ask God the famous question, "Lord Why?"
Just Then, in my mind, I hear a small still voice reply,
"If only you could see who you are Thru the Image of Gods view
You would be a completely different person as if you were a creature that was made brand new.
Seeing things thru Gods Perception
Changes the image of your own conception.
You see a Reflection of Impefection
He sees an abundance of love wrapped in blessings.
As you stare at yourself passing Judgement
He stares at you for you are a work of art I call Triumphant."
Lastly, He wishpers "Child you are a gift that is heaven sent.
No longer do I feel abandonment.
I have much appreciation for God allowing me to go thru this so I can understand the true meaning of humiliation.
This Quiet conversation is the conformation that in The heavenly Father is where I find my identification.

Am I missing something did I not get the position?
I have dedicated my Full attention.
Have I not given you my complete tuition with my scarfices and love as payment of admission.
I thought you were the musician and I was your composition.
Turns out you were just a magician with tricks secretly hidden.
You say you love me but after recognition
that statement is now judged with suspicion.
Because Love isnt based upon Condition.
How are we living together yet we are in divsion?
Unholy and sinning
Like a bad habit that you can't break its became a repetition.
Now I'm not trying to start an argument Because I can feel the tension,
But you forget to mention
if you are in my life on postive or negative mission.
Now maybe Im just fishing
And if I am the holy Spirit will bring me conviction,
But it seems I have to make a split decsion
That could bring me life like Vitamins are used in nutrition or prepare me for death like a mortician.
Now Thinking to my self in you I don't see a potential or a vision.
So I  Believe this is The ending of our expedition.
Because our love turn into a product of demolition
like 2 cars in an in an accident from a crash collision.
My Intuition is tell me to make this transition
To feel the void in My soul from what has been missing.
I am healing from within Because God is my Physician.
Feeling Free No longer an imate in Prison
For I am a Woman with ambition
I am rare, A limited Edition.

In My opinion You will never get the concept of Love's true definition.
If you did you would see love isn't based upon condition.

Just Venting....

I feel stagnant and fear has become my magnet.  I'm tired of him and he's tired of me. He continuously drains me of my positive energy.

In just a few moments like I was counting from 1 to 3.
And just like that we went from Ecstacy to agony.

I feel everything from everyone and yet from my own feelings I feel Numb.
my heartbreaks, with every breath that I take..... my struggles....., my fears......, and doubt's shout! They are more bold now than ever.

I swear you're just like a pill instead of making me better you keep making me spiritually ill.
I wish my Empathic ways would turn off and go numb so that my heart and soul could no no long feel.
Yet and still, I trust my intuitional forceful power inside of me to know what I feel Is real.
Because  that's one of the powers given to me by the God of Israel.

So Tell me Is it my peace and happiness you are here to steal?
As you Leave me empty like a cup that needs a refill.
And Your words beat me like I am Emitt Till until your energy becomes a ****** weapon  licensed to ****.
Ha! Ha ! Ha ! You must get a thrill
About how you make me feel
you leave me broken with blood pouring on the ground like red juice from From a cup that leaves behind a stained spill.

Some call it a relationship but I called it a situation ship because the only time we can relate is when we situate our feelings long enough to ride the lustful seas with our maghony ships flowing from the currents between our hips.
Then once that's over again you have the nerves to abuse me from the fruit of your lips  
And like fool I continuously drink your poison as I entrancingly take sips.

While as writing this did you sneak and poke holes and then dip? Because this is the sound of a sinking ship.

Until the death of me, will have you strangled like A MC on the mic that he/she grips ready to spit their rhymes ever so slick.
Weighing heavy on your soul like the Weight of a thousand bricks.
Making you feel so sick
You'll be needing some Vicks
And things in your mind will begin click
As the memories of me will beat your brain blow by blow with every single lick.
Remembering when you called me B*h and that I will never be sh*t
the words and images of how you treated me will haunt you like how that ghost is watching you in as it sits
As the time passes and the clock  just ticks.........

When my spirit feels malnourished.
Something in me finds the strength and courage
To Read the word so I can help my spirit man flourish.
Medicine for the people of the oppressed.
Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
From the book of Mathew Chapter 11 Verse 28

Father help me to walk upon this path of the narrow and straight.
And things I don't understand Teach me, Educate.
Though you know I feel inadequate You remind me to use the Tools you've bless me with.
The word of God cures the diseases that weaken our souls.
The Bible Proclaims these words in black ink typed So bold.

Pleasant words are as honeycombs,
sweet to the soul, and health to the bones.
Originating from the book of Proverbs Chapter 16 Verse 24

Lord that word was good but I'm Yearning for more.
My lover, my Savior
The one whom I adore.
As I sit here watching the rising of the Sun,
Praising Yah being forever grateful for all that He's done!

According to The book Of Isiah Chapter 25 Verse 1
O Lord, thou art my God; I will exalt thee, I will praise thy name; for thou hast done wonderful things; thy counsels of old are faithfulness and truth.

Help me Father Just as you did Naomi and Ruth.
Thank You for a foundation and a roof.
Your grace and your mercies I'm a living proof.

Thank you for seeing fit to making simple me wonderful and beautifully.
I've left you, walked away.
There were Times when I have forgotten to pray.
I cursed you when trials have come my way.
Forgetting that you were always right there for me.
Waiting with open arms so pure and holy.
This is what I call a true love story.
The Evidence is in your majestic glory.
Thank you God for eyes to see as I look around and take in your artistic creativity.
Look at The birds and the bees
Even The sun, the moon, the stars, and  the trees.
Thank you father for separating the land from the sea.
Thank you for sending Jesus to dying upon the cross so we might have life more Abundantly.
But more most Importantly
I Thank You God for loving little old me Unconditionally.
Thank God for who you called me to be.
A woman who's motherly ears hear the sound of her child's cry as thier life I bare.
Thank you Father for my ears so that when you call upon me your voice i will hear.
When I felt alone your presence filled the room to let me know you were always right there.
There was a sudden shift in the atmosphere.
Even when I felt so far away from you you were always near.
Thank you catching the rivers flowing from my face called tears.
Thank you for these past 28 adventurous years.
Thank you bringing me thru the struggle,
You never gave up on me no matter how many times I would fall down or buckle.
Thank You Father for a mouth to speak.
So when I became weak I use this technique; I fuse my mouth and heart together so in you I will seek
To gain strength in my spiritual physique.
Walking with you I am constantly being critiqued but thats what sets me apart and makes me uniquely mystique.
Thank you Father for my brain so I can think.
Giving me the power to move my body and be able to blink upon instinct.
Together My brain, heart, and mouth become in sync,
Then the physical can develop into one link.

I see you as you're watching me
Catching every detail as you view so carefully.
Your eyes are glued to my every move as you observe so attentively.
Everything I do and say
you study it throughout the day.
You see Me when I cry
Even when you try not to pry.
When the tears begin fall and You're asking me, "WHY?
And mommy please don't lie.
There's something wrong and this you can't hide."
So this was my Reply,
"My life feels like a pigsty
no matter how hard I tried.
Times when to you I just try to advise and emphasize
not taking the time to understand how you feel inside.
That's why we didn't see Eye to eye and  I always ended up feeling like the bad guy.
Sweetie pie,
your behaviors I cannot justify
but there are Rules and regulations that we must abide by.
On me you must rely
No I don't have the answers to everything
But this much I can testify and bring
all I have is my heart and love as an offering.
I pray that You love me just as much as I love you.
There's so many things that I've gotten use to that you have seemed to outgrew.
There's things that I'd wish I could undo.
So many things I want to tell you.
Things we haven't even gotten to do.
Our love has been proven to be tride and true.
***, I Need a tissue
I think we just had a breakthrough.
Because the bond between you and I is better than Wi-Fi.
This much I can verify
That Mommy loves her little ones, all you littles wise guys.
I love being being a mother fervently
Because you guys bring out the best in me.
Personally,
I enjoy watching you watching me so
Observantly.

"Mommy, Mommy" every 5 Seconds, the tangles, matted hair,
the screams and cries of the children, "that's unfair", 
the messy intricate feelings and waves of emotions that are overflowing everywhere.
The pandemonium and turmoil in an uproar.
So chaotic I just wanna let out a thunderous , "ROAR!!!!"

Some times being a mother can be  Exhausting, strenuous, demanding and so time consuming that the fatigue will leave you drained and empty. 
Yet we mange to be Refreshed and new filled with a loving and meaningful spirit for plenty.
Each precious second with you I'm must cherish for it is Priceless.
I sit and watch you in silence,
the world stops and and in that breathtaking relaxed moment it feels timeless.
Caring for you has been such a powerful, captivating, and endearing  Connection
that In you, I see my own spiritual reflection .
To have such a joyful child,
My heart is overjoyed with pure Bliss and wowed.
Thinking on bittersweet minutes that lie
both exhilarating and depressing We can't deny.
On this Adventurous Voyage of you and I,
We've uncovered a love, a bond that gravity can't even defy.
Understanding this Magical, Amazing, Fulfilling journey of motherhood is an rewarding experience within itself.
Such a beautiful way to discovering a person's actual identity, ones true self.

He is The ink to my ball point pen
He is My lover and my Friend.
He Loves me despite of all my sins.
He is The Victory of all my wins
He is The Alpha Omega the begining and the end.
He cleanse new over and over again.
He strengthens me when I feel weaken.
He Gave me hope and something to believe in.
His word and his love is embedded Deep within.
His scripture helps me get the bigger picture.
He lifts me up Spiritually so I will not wither.
Greater is He
That is within me.
HalleluYah for he has set me free!
I will Forever Ever praise Thee

Im afraid to admit it but I think I love you.I'm scared I'm getting to close to you and yet we are so far apart. I'm afraid to let my guard down because I'm afraid you might hurt me.  I'm scared that if I give you my heart you might break it. I'm scared I might be to vulnerable, too emotional, too clingy, too needy. I'm afraid that I might be too much for you to handle. I'm not perfect for I am a human being. I make mistakes and I mess up. I'm afraid that you might not like I who I really am. I'm scared you won't love me beyond my hurt, my pain, and my faults. Warning sometimes I can be a train wreck and even sometimes a little bit of a witch. Can you accept that part of me??? At times when all I see is the worst in me, Can you love me like God and see the best in me?
I May not be beautiful on the outside but I promise that the beauty of me lies embedded deep within. Can you Intrigue my mind the way you would my body? Can you capture my spirit the way a picture captures the soul? Is it possible that you can love me for me Flaws and All???
If not we have nothing at all.
So for the life of me I can't figure out  why is that with you I so vulnerable. Like An unspeakable spiritual encounter with you every time we talk. Each conversation is so real, raw, and refreshing.
Everyday is becoming better than the next thing.
You have reached an untouchable place in my heart.
And this is why...............     the definition of intimacy is a close, familiar, and usually affectionate or loving personal relationship with another person or group. Intimacy is also a close association with or detailed knowledge or deep understanding of a place or subject.
Intimacy demands these essential ingredients such as transparency, and Vulnerability.
You can't encounter intimacy pretending to be something you are not. Take a Chance with a safe person you have entrusted with confidence, and assurance.
Strip away the false mask of yourself and let the your true colors come shinning through.
Give it all you got Like it's the last thing you have left to.
I'm scared because I'm afraid to admit it but I think I love you.

Father,
As The conclusions of illusions scurry thu my mind,
All the misconception of oppression I leave behind.
The pulsating, throbbing strains viciously attacks my brain, 
Ugh Migraine.
I fall to my knees,
begging Yah, "Please,
heal me of this chest pain."
Let my cries and prayers be not in vain.
Father I need you to be like my Novocaine
and numb the pain,
help me maintain,
Father Be my Mid and Forebrain before I go insane!
Now I'm not one to sit here and ramble on.
Father I've tried reading the gospel according to John,
But the that passion, fire and desire that I once had is gone.
I miss that Spiritual atmospheric phenomenon.
It helped me to hold on and keep on keeping on.
Despite how many times I fall
Or when I get angry because I feel like you didn't answer my call
Here you are Loving me With my Imperfections, flaws and all.
Yes I have been beaten and battered and even my hopes and dreams have been shattered.
But that's the beautiful thing when it comes to the heart of matter.
From that staggered disaster
you gathered pieces of laughter splattered in a pattern
and created a masterpiece of a platter!
I'm trying to get an Understanding of why you love me the way you do.
All the persecutions, hardships, and suffering I experience in my life times two.
Even the times when I had thought about giving up and was lost without a clue.
You said, "Not so my child, For have not given up on you!
Remember I myself experienced those very same things you went thru.
My Word says, I will never leave you nor forsake you no matter what you do."
That's when the decision
hit me like a crash collision,
like a precisian
with exceptional Vision.
No longer will I be paralyzed
Or wallow in my fleshly demise.
But Yet will I get up and rise,
keep my focus on the prize
And walk in the counsel of the Wise.
After much concentration and heavy meditation,
Father our conversation led to Consolation.
I know I can no longer wait.
My flesh must I Eliminate.
My mental and Spiritual state I Shall evaluate and Rehabilitate.
Father for all you do, I value it much and appreciate,
Especially loving me at my worst state.

A note of Suicide
The walls were closing in on me.
Frustrated and furious significantly.
A grey cloud of despair, can't you see it in the air?
Where are you right now? You said you would always be there.
As the emptiness filled the atmosphere.
Anxiety grew so heavy and thick.
That I become Feeble and sick.
Overtaken by Outrage
Depression and I became engaged.
The sickness of guilt and shame filled my brain.
I've tried but I can't maintain.
Drunken with Rejection followed by a shot of oppression.
What if something gave me a motive
to end my life without further notice?
What would life be like if I wasn't around ?
would my kids and Family be happy or would they frown?
Living life so miserably
Like an inmate in prison not being free.
Stuck Like a Tree who's roots were intertwined into the ground.
Restricted, bound and beaten down.
I'm locked in.
Life's got me pinned.
I just can't seem to Win.
I'm Feeling like committing an unforgivable sin.
If you're reading this you are already too late
From the Premises of this cold lonely world I had to evacuate.
After so many had me crucified,
Just as my dreams have now so will I,
On the inside, I just gave up and died.
This is a note of Suicide.