Target locked
there he goes
aiming straight in front of me

He was the prey
I was the predator

He lured me with believable kind words
shot me with his gorgeous smile of his
made me fall into his trap
beautiful perfect man
that fluttered my heart

Who would know that
this beautiful man
targeted to break my heart
not to crack it
but to completely break it into pieces

My heart shards like glasses
he indeed aim it successfully
successfully to break my heart

my beautiful soul
soon became a dark black soul
why did I  not know earlier
that I was the target

What had I done wrong?
I do not deserve this
I cannot believe in the fact that
*I was the target

Gracious grows the ghost of you,
I will never forget the plans, the
Silhouettes you drew of me are still here.

Black Sea, I failed to be a light you found in love.
Black Sea, the monster killed the melody you loved.

death moves amongst us,
And with such ease the poems that you wrote to me still sing.


I have a grave to dig, fast moving feet,
Next to your tomb stone I weep.

You gave me light,
Where it once was gone.
I made a bed,
Where you don't belong.

Living without him,
Living at all,
Seems to slow me down.

Take a white woman and cover her in red paint
Take a black woman and do the same
Now you can't tell the color of their skin
You can only judge from what is within

We are taught from a young age
To hate what is different from us
Now it's your choice to be peaceful
It's not the paint that is deceitful

But we are the same kind of people
If you look in my inner reflection
It's not about thick thighs and pigmentations
It's about every heart in all of the nations

Who would you take a slug for
Who do you wish death upon
Don't waste your bad words
On the ears of that's all that they've heard

Speak life into strangers daily
I don't know you or owe you
But I can still call you my friend
And we will fight together until the end

We all bleed red paint
We all die sinners and saints
Don't label me something I ain't
This heart, is not for the faint

So bless my skin
An all that is within
From the tips of my toes to
Every part the good Lord to knows

You judge me if you like
I won't reflect on it
I have cracks in my skin
And all the paint seeps in

And so it fills me up
With all the love and the pain
Of those who bleed out in vain
Because fools speak words that sound insane

Different shades of acceptance
So judgmental in their minds
Because they fear what is different
It's not your fault they on ignorance

So color me blue
And let the sky watch
Because we have bigger problems
Than who's white and who's not

It's 2 a.m.here in Calgary,
I'm sitting on my bed thinking,
I have an English quiz today,
I studied for it,
But of course my anxiety has to come along,
I'm thinking of all the possible outcomes and future of either passing or failing the test,
The numbers so far 5:129
(No don't worry the 129 is the failure side, I told you so that you don't have to ask which ones which),
It's 2 a.m. and I have come up with 134 possible outcomes of this test and my parents make me take sleeping pills that I dump in the toilet,
I drink a lot of coffee and energy drinks,
But I'm still thinking tossing and turning physically and mentally,
Then you wonder why do you have to continue this way,
Then this depression thing comes in and makes my anxiety worse,
Causing a melt down.

It's 2:01 a.m.