Stuck
In a classroom full of children
The numbness shall win

My mind a haze
My hands with a will of their own
Lost someplace
Far away
Then
Return to the realm of the body
Concern as to what has happened
Peers question
Yet I have no answer
For I am still searching for one

Run, run, run
Over and over upon the parchment
Run, run, run
Scrawled across my math paper
Overlapping letters
Unreadable
A scribble

Tell me
What has become of me?
Going on for 2 years
Rising when I least expect
Taking control
Throwing me out
Now feeling as though 'twere not my own
Save me from the void of sensation in my fingertips
Bring me back so I may feel
Anything but empty and pain

- Jay M

Tired eyes
Blank face
Staring into the void
An emptiness
Absence of mind
Simply a shell
Left to wander
Without knowing
Brought back to reality
What did I miss?

- Jay M
August 26th, 2019

I feel nothing
maybe I feel a cloud that only rains in my presence but
I really feel nothing

Sometimes I see myself
in the googles of someone else who is far
very far,
watching me on a screen
and whenever I start to feel
I can feel someone else overriding
my control of myself
I am pushed to the very backseat
despite calling shotgun.

I feel nothing
except for Zeus' anger
at the ***** of my feet
in the form of volcanic lava
bubbling and toiling
as it overrides the meniscus boundary
but now
I am here
me
I am here
in my car in the driver's seat
I don't have to call shotgun
because my unconscious
yes, mine
my unconscious is all mine
and now,
I have never felt more alive.

But the lava always cools and resides,
despite the internal temperature,
solidifying only to be melted again
and I am where I belong
I am right in the backseat.

Watery hands
Dripping from my own
Before the mirror.
Juggling with the unseen
Parts of me.

Portraits of the dearest ones
Long dead and gone
They're zooming out
I am zoning out.


--Eleanor Rigby

Drawing out the words it contains,
To my cigarette, it lights its flame

Reaching for the blunt-reverse psychology
It turns around, burns its hole inside of me

So my lungs continue to thicken
Fog that will reverse my death from a quicken

Keeping me out of reality infinitely
So my cigarettes become my life
My poetry