I see his messages.
I see him reaching out again.
I’m tempted to fall back again.
And I miss him.
Even though I know I shouldn’t.
But this time…
It wasn’t hope.
It was a reminder.
A reminder that I need to let him go.
We’re stuck in a limbo that never changes.
He doesn’t care, not really.
And I shouldn’t either… even if part of me still does.
These feelings for him still linger
Soft, stubborn, and cruel.
But this distance… this silence…
It’s not punishment.
It’s healing.
It’s how I free myself.
No contact isn’t easy
But it’s the only thing that will finally let me breathe again.

I kissed you when I shouldn’t have
I cared when I knew it’d just hurt back
I think of you more than I should
Still hoping one day you’d be good

I gave too many chances it’s true
Each one hoping you’d come through
But you deflect ignore and run
Especially when I’m not just fun

You go quiet when I get real
You don’t respond to how I feel
And I keep loving even still
Even though it breaks my will

You send a heart a hey a snap
But where were you when I felt trapped
When I sent that sad face you stayed cold
Like my emotions just got old

I’m always tempted to reply
Give it one more shot just one more try
But what’s the point you’ve shown your side
You push me out when I confide

What do I expect at this stage
From someone who keeps acting the same
If you could ignore me once you’ll do it again
And I’ll be left picking up pain

Different day same old game
Same silence same unanswered name
And yet my heart still feels the pull
Still hopes you’ll change still feels full

But deep down I know the truth I fear
When someone shows you believe it clear
If you wanted to you would’ve stayed
We wouldn’t be here love wouldn’t fade

Yes I miss you more than you know
But I’ve had enough it’s time to let go
I wanted forever but you only showed up
when you were bored
And that’s not love I can afford

So this is goodbye not with hate but with grace
I just need peace not this endless chase
I still care but I care for me more
You lost my heart I’m closing that door

I sent a sad face,
he sent nothing.
Eight hours of silence
and a filtered selfie
as if my feelings
were too inconvenient
to be acknowledged.

He didn’t ask what was wrong.
He never really did.
He liked the softness,
but never the substance.

He liked being wanted,
but never wanted to show up.
Not when I was vulnerable,
not when I was hurting,
not when I needed more
than a snap of his bed
or a half laugh in my face.

I gave chances in silence,
forgiveness without apology.
I held space where he gave absence.
And still, I stayed.
Until staying
started to hurt more
than the leaving ever could.

So I didn’t block him.
I didn’t scream.
I didn’t write a final message.
I just disappeared
the way he always did
when it was my turn to speak.

Let him wonder
why the snaps stopped.
Let him feel the stillness
he used to ignore.

Let him stare at the pending
and realize I’m not.
Not waiting.
Not hoping.
Not folding back into someone
who forgot how to hold me.

I may not have closure,
but I have clarity.

And if silence is the only language
he ever taught me,
then let him hear it
loud and clear.

i love you that much
so when there is
a choice
between you and me
i choose to love

maybe
i love you
because
i don’t know what love is
i’m sure
i do
but for you
i don’t want to follow the rules

you can drink how much you want
but you will never see me in her
you can find another girl
who jokes the same as I did before
who laughs the same, who smiles the same
but it will never be me again

I hate the way you make me feel
Like I am carrying 400lbs of extra weight
On my body
I hate hiw oppressive you turned
I hate the fact that you're birthday
Stole alot from me
And I cannot replace what was stolen
From me
I hate you for what you did
To make me have to lie to others about you
I hate the fact that your old school
I am angry for the simple fact that you are still here
When you shouldn't be even around me
All this aggression
All this hate and anger
Is baggage for me
And you don't know what you have don't yet...
Your lies lead me to lie
And I (f)ucking hate that