There are butterflies in your stomach?
They flutter when you see him;
a furious blush paints your face,
raw brush strokes and
unadulterated emotion
leaving behind a rich pigment
known as cluelessness.
Mix in a bit of pallor,
and it's embarrassment.
They beat their mosaic-printed wings
with a stumble of your feet
or a failed exam,
a 68 in Applied Physics
when you should have pulled a crisp 69.
They find Eden-tier gardens with excitement
on par with that of a pajama-clad kid on Christmas morning,
and I bet you relish in the feeling.
But little did you know,
Miss Little Innocent sitting there
with her head weighed down  
with her heavy thoughts and knock-off Docs
pigeon-toed in a less than symbol
(don't you know that, sixty-eight?),
had elephants,
                          prides of lions,
                                                    *******,
                                                                ­­         the whole savanna
housed inside her ribcage,
bones rattling from deafening roars;
a cognizant mind stumbling from the seismic waves
of leviathan footsteps,
shaking the ground she walks on.
The pain in her chest,
the god awful attempts to provide
for her own microcosmic ecosystem
wracked her frail frame without mercy.
She continued to bounce her knees
and answer your questions
with breathy, exhausting syllables,
but you put yourself out of commission.
You write and write about your butterflies,
but think about how
it must feel to have to accept
lionesses gnawing on your shoulderblades.
Would you ask for your beautiful ******* back?

Warm bed.
Suffocation.

Lukewarm water.
Drowning.

Dishes upon dishes are stacked.
Tumbling.

Down.
Down.
Down.
Down.

Another day, another relative in the grave.
Salty tears can't turn back time.

I never caressed, I never cared.
But I did care.

Wet pillow.
Drying.

Cry.
Cry.
Cry.
Cry.

Take a watch and turn back time.
Where would you like to go?

Go back to everybody you forgot existed?
Or maybe spend more time with the people you didn't?

Help out your family more often?
Because you never did so before.

Never.
Never.
Never.
Never.

You can't go back, you know that right?
Why are you crying?

They're dead, they all are.
It's over now, forget it.

No matter how many times you say it, it's meaningless.
"Sorry."

There is a wall between us
One i cannot break
One i can’t get through
And find a way to say hey

No matter how hard i try
Our relationship, i cannot save
I wish i could reach out
Break through this clear cage.

But i can only smush my face against the glass
In hopes you will see
But you are not looking at me
Can you even see the glass?
Do you realize i am trapped?
Do you see that i cant reach through
I can’t touch or talk to you.

I’m not so sure what to do
You look content
On your side of this wall
Laughing and dancing
Talking and walking

And i -
I stay here
On my side of this wall
It looms all around
I feel like I’m  bound
‘Tis a solemn event
As i attempt to find a way through,
I can only conclude
It’s too strong to dent.

This is more of a vent
But i want it to rhyme
I just want to get over the wall! I’m hell-bent!
I want to get past this pane
It’s glass that just won’t ******* break
Without you how can i possibly stay sane?!
How do i fix this?
How do i reach you?
I’ll find a way out
I need to.

Do you even seen this glass?
How long can this loneliness last?
Do you see how I’m stuck?
How can you reach me?
If you can’t even see me?
I can not reach you.
Though try i might
But you look happy
Perhaps I’ll just give up this fight.

So i stay behind this glass
Maybe if you are happy my sadness will be over in a flash.
But alas i am forced to wait
So I stare through this pain

No matter what I want you to be happy,
Even though i wish i could feel the same.

Open your heart to a fairy tale untold
Of a man whose path was ridden with ice and cold

His daunting journey lasted for a while
Looking up projecting a luscious smile

Pristine drips of crimson red in liquid emulsion
Was tended and spread in pure repulsion

A hingeless contortion, amongst cruel distortion
A spiritless effigy brimming with emotion

Standing amongst the colourless plates
The sound of devotion resonates

Wearing a mask in pride, containing a brittle smile

He approached the husk before it turned to dust
It danced in the wind once more

Magenta lights flashing through my window.
Muffled groans and cries echo from my pillow.

Humid air, kicking off sheets.
I can hear cars driving on the streets.

Birds singing happily in the night sky.
I sink into the bath and begin to cry.

Lavender scent, filling the air.
Scrubbing my body, my body is bare.

Red marks wherever I scrub.
Slowly but surely red drips into the tub.

No matter how hard, how rough I've been.
I know it in my heart, I'll never be clean.

Small, silver tool on top of the sink.
It all happened so fast, happened in a blink.

Submerged in the water I breathe.
Across my flesh, I feel the metal sheathe.

The water is now red.
It shows how much I've bled.

I tilt my head back and look out the glass.
I can see the sunrise, bright green grass.

Birds are singing outside cheerily.
I close my eyes and exhale drearily.

Bathing in crimson, my heart starts to sink.
The only thought I have is what my mother will think.

I did not avert my gaze as I found myself

Staring intently,
Pondering subsequently,

Deep down the draining abyss
That ****** in eveything around me

I was
             continuously gazing,
             permanently paralysed,

Neither the shadows would move
Nor my soul would leave their quarters

             Unbudging bridges,
             Overflowing ridges,
I saw

All that was left ****** down a vacuum
Of gleaming darkness

Light retracting,
Eyes refracting,

A dimension in the twilight realm as abstract as me

Empty husks roll past the meadow,
Cascading upon what seemed initially imperceptible,
Deducting from the nothingness ocurring
From the transdimensional planes

Broken bonds,
Drowned *****,

The pull was too strong as it consumed me whole