Go ahead and mourn all the things
that have, and can, and will be.
Lay flowers at the foot of the grave of borrowed time,
kiss the past her sweet goodbyes,
and rest assured the cycle always happens again;
another life gives time a new lover
who she'll take back someday.

Knowing what I know today,
I'm torn between honesty,
and never saying anything.

Pulling from my memory,
I recall expression
as a natural efficacy
of mine.

Fill me with love again,
love as the willingness
to speak as easily as
I can accept my errs.

Knowing what I know today,
I'm torn between standing out
and fitting into the crowd.

My slightly younger self,
saw my much younger self,
thought, my far future self
wouldn't have the gall.

My slightly younger self,
saw my much younger self,
thought, my far future self
wouldn't have the gall.

I'm torn between standing out
and fitting in, and surprise,
I did say it again.

i apologize
for all the things i never said anything
for all the times i didn't speak up
for all the times i let you make me feel uncomfortable in my own skin
for all the times i let you make me feel guilty
for all the times i let you get away it
for all the times i let you win
for all the times i let you make me cry at 2am

i apologize for never telling you
that you were ruining everything about me
that you made me hate myself
and that this hate continues to run through my veins
for you
and for me
and everything that slipped through the cracks in between
as you broke me