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madison 7d
i apologize
for all the things i never said anything
for all the times i didn't speak up
for all the times i let you make me feel uncomfortable in my own skin
for all the times i let you make me feel guilty
for all the times i let you get away it
for all the times i let you win
for all the times i let you make me cry at 2am

i apologize for never telling you
that you were ruining everything about me
that you made me hate myself
and that this hate continues to run through my veins
for you
and for me
and everything that slipped through the cracks in between
as you broke me
you were known for having no empathy
madison Jan 28
my words
they can't escape through my sobs
i've tried to tell you countless times
but they are trapped in my throat
trying to make their way out through my gasps of air
im choking on all the things i want to say to you
madison Jan 20
mental and physical
i feel as if i don't have a place
but maybe
i take up too much space
madison Jan 14
i did it.
i finally let the thoughts take over.
im sick.
madison Jan 13
i dont want to admit this
every time it gets late my thoughts come back
its a comfort thing
but then it becomes a bad thing
i swallow
and i swallow
and then i cry
and i cry
i try not to consume
but it gets late and i feel lost
and i don't want to talk about it
i always feel so empty
i try to fill the space
but its getting to the point
where i want to empty it
i want nothing
you will see this. you will be concerned. you will want to text me. please not about this though. i will be okay.
madison Jan 9
i feel weak
everyday another piece of me folds in
im becoming the thing you never wanted to see
im becoming to reach the point you hoped i would never

im the piece of paper in the bottom of your bag
the one you needed
you lost it and spent ages looking for it
but by the time you found it
it was torn to shreds
it was no longer useful
and you groaned and complained
but then you got another
and you were thankful that there were others
to replace the one you forgot about
until it was too late

but i couldn't forget
i laid there in pieces wondering what happened
you cared
but you realized it got bad
and then you realized it was too late
and you moved onto the next person to care about
until it was too late for them too.
madison Jan 6
you scare me sometimes
i don't think you would ever intentionally hurt me
but you have my heart in your hands
i fall down with every word you say
my hands are bruised
my knees are ******
you would never intentionally hurt me

but my love for you
is ruining me
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