i apologize for all the things i never said anything for all the times i didn't speak up for all the times i let you make me feel uncomfortable in my own skin for all the times i let you make me feel guilty for all the times i let you get away it for all the times i let you win for all the times i let you make me cry at 2am
i apologize for never telling you that you were ruining everything about me that you made me hate myself and that this hate continues to run through my veins for you and for me and everything that slipped through the cracks in between as you broke me
my words they can't escape through my sobs i've tried to tell you countless times but they are trapped in my throat trying to make their way out through my gasps of air im choking on all the things i want to say to you
i dont want to admit this every time it gets late my thoughts come back its a comfort thing but then it becomes a bad thing i swallow and i swallow and then i cry and i cry i try not to consume but it gets late and i feel lost and i don't want to talk about it i always feel so empty i try to fill the space but its getting to the point where i want to empty it i want nothing
you will see this. you will be concerned. you will want to text me. please not about this though. i will be okay.
i feel weak everyday another piece of me folds in slowly im becoming the thing you never wanted to see im becoming to reach the point you hoped i would never
im the piece of paper in the bottom of your bag the one you needed you lost it and spent ages looking for it but by the time you found it it was torn to shreds it was no longer useful and you groaned and complained but then you got another and you were thankful that there were others to replace the one you forgot about until it was too late
but i couldn't forget i laid there in pieces wondering what happened you cared but you realized it got bad and then you realized it was too late and you moved onto the next person to care about until it was too late for them too.
you scare me sometimes i don't think you would ever intentionally hurt me but you have my heart in your hands i fall down with every word you say my hands are bruised my knees are ****** you would never intentionally hurt me