If not born into this confluence
From the cesspool of the waiting room,
Then elsewhere.
My consciousness schools me.
My ego insists.
I am, and was meant to be.
But logic countermands hope.
The fairies and angels are indexed
In the collected works of Aesop.
I am a network of synapses
Bleached into the soil.

We all had to be a water droplet,
a blade of grass,
a piece of metal and shard of glass,
We all had to be an air molecule,
a mess of dirt,
we all have died and we've all gave birth. We've all been insects that live in the earth. We all had to be fleas,
We all had to dogs,
We all had to be Lilly pads and had to be frogs.
We all had to give and we all had to take,
We all had to lose and we all had to make, We're all on one team so we all have a say.
We are the characters and life is a play,
A roles a role but still we must not delay.
Your path is the only thing in your way.
We've all been here before but we don't have to stay.
Enlighten and leave,
the cycles recede,
and birth is at death,
a spiritual world of love and light is all that will be left,
without our skin we look within and see at our best,
the problems we had in life were nothing but a test.
Individual strength brings you closer to the source,
so never look back in remorse.

We turn back into dust everyday
We slowly decay
Some of us corrode much faster
Some of us turn into dark matter
Some of us turn into foam
Some of us are left alone
Some of us stay here forever
And this is my souls greatest endeavor
Life after life and lesson after lesson
Dissecting the product to get the blessing
Shining light into my heart to receive the message,
Live and let go, no time for stressing.

Entry ~
*I walked into the sea. I dove beneath the rolling waves, and released every piece of me to the sandy pits underneath my feet. I came here to find some peace, to relinquish the pain I've been carrying, since the day my soul was born to this spinning planet of blue and green. I think my soul is made up of the past, of lives I've lived over centuries passed. I can't explain this karma any other way. It's stacked up against me, towering so high, I must've done something truly awful in a previous life, because there's no way it's karma from this one. I've paid for my mistakes in this life. I've done my time, endured my suffering for the mistakes I've made here, but I can't do anything about my previous lives. I don't think I payed my do's then. I think I ran. I know I did, because there is always an incessant urge to flee, deep inside me, whenever something goes wrong. It's instinctual, kind of like a lion chasing a gazelle. It's a natural instinct for the gazelle to flee when it's being hunted, and for the lion to chase when it's after prey. I think I've been running from the lion for centuries, maybe even millennia's. I don't know who the lion is, but I must've done something truly awful to deserve being punished through lifetimes of karma. I think this karma is how I'm supposed to know he's caught me. I've always had this feeling, deep inside my chest, that life on earth is a punishment. I was sent here to learn a lesson, and maybe I haven't been able to figure it out. That's why it feels like I'm constantly reborn, over and over again. I think in this life, I'm starting to figure it out. I think when I die from this incarnation, I'll transcend beyond the heavens. I'll go back to where I came from thousands of years ago. I'll go back to the place where the lion lays. I'll face him, and hope he doesn't **** me, or wound me to badly. I have to face him, because I can't keep running. I can't be reborn here again. This place is truly hell, but at least I find peace when I'm floating in the salty sea. It's a refuge for me.

It takes me years
to go to nowhere
I've been waiting
for the moonlight
to wrap me up
for the sunshine
to burn me up
but I can't let go
the pain of not wanting
a revenge on the
sight of deity goddess.

Friends come and friends go
As I go round and round in circles

Love someone change your mind
Decide he was a swine
As you go round and round in circles

He who knows does not speak
He who speaks does not know
And I go round in circles

Dislike someone and will not bend
Later they may become your best friend
As life it goes around in circles

He who knows does not speak
He who speaks does not know
And I go round in circles

Soul takes on a body with each birth we make our date
With life and death along the road the soul reincarnates
The show goes round and round in circles

When loss and gain and up and down
Becomes the same, then we stop going in circles
Round and round in circles

Every day I am reincarnated.
I am inspired by something or I lose complete interest in another.
I fall in love with an idea, a concept, a person.
But I give up. I am defeated. I lose hope in something other.

Every day I learn a lesson
and I am surrounded by my teachers.

I throw yesterday away in search for tomorrow.
I care less about tomorrow if the past brings back sorrows.

I cover my eyes if it is too bright.
To the darkness I bring light.

Because I am only a spirit in the body of a man
and every day I am born again.