Here I am, in the middle of the night.
The wind, cold; the room, silent.
My eyes, blinded by the white light,
reading words that formed images of the past.

Words that I wrote.
Memories that I sought.
Sought I did, not to forget.
but to remember.

It was painful. Once.
But not anymore. No longer.
Now I smile, upon the beauty of naivety. Immaturity.
But most of all:
Love.

Words built upon childish love.
The little kid who thought,
he knew Pure Love.
But it was merely a whim.
A desire.
A choice.

He dove head-on,
without knowing anything at all.
And that he did, and he was
full of joy.

That's why he did not cry.
He did not even try.
He only felt cold. Empty.
Because he knew he lost something.
Something he held dearly.

And so, I lingered. 'Till now.
It's time to formally close that chapter.
And for new memories,
I shall wander.

As the thin wheels keep on rolling clockwise
there is a scratching noise that annoys me
"There's nothing wrong, it's not broken"
I told myself and choose to ignore
Placed my feet back on the pedal
I kept going

Sunny side up straight gawking at me
I looked back and stare
I must be seeing blind and lured into oblivion
It was an awesome sun-shiny day!
Suddenly, I stumble upon this momentum
while "Tickets to Ride by the Beatles" playing on the background
I hit the ground and rolled

Almost passed out, invisible bruises all over me
I feel pained
Pain all over me like I was going to be forgotten
lost in space, eaten by a black hole
then spit out by it

Everything in slow motion
like in a matrix action film
My consciousness is beginning to
regain little by little..
Little did I knew that little things can hurt you
Split-second imposing wonder turned into chaos
but it comes to my mind that
it's so awesome to be hurt in order for me to grow stronger
Yesss, positivity at its best
I get back up again
and chose to keep going
What a ride.

When cameras were first invented,
The photographs were in Black & White,
Yet, the happiness was genuine and colourful.

Now, in this era,
The photographs are full of colours,
Yet,
Our happiness are colourless
Just like old Black & White Photographs....

First day in College,
A day in a roller coaster sit,
Fear and anxiety fills up your thoughts,
Will I be okay?

The walls emits different stories,
Different people but same feeling,
Grey number plates,
Is this my temporary residence?

You miss high school,
It’s not that you don’t want to go to college,
But you miss your old gang,
Will I will be able to laugh with the new one?

All this questions,
But there are no answers,
It’s just the first day,
Maybe I can get through.

Sometimes I wonder
All the time actually
   if it's bad that I think about things like this

You've given me very few reasons to feel
Any way that isn't bliss
   but I still find myself questioning
   things I shouldn't think

I ask myself
What it means to
Be In Love
   because in the end
   isn't it just a word?
   even though I know it's a feeling too.

I ask myself
   why do I always put you first?
   and forget about myself
Because I'm good at blending in
I'm good at conforming
   to avoid conflict
   and make myself more likeable

In the end,
I'm not outstanding.
I'm not really funny
                    or interesting
                    or unique
I'm not really very pretty either.

So is that why I conform?
To be what I imagine you want
Because I'm afraid of losing you
   even though you've never given me a reason
   to believe that you'd leave me
   if I were anything but myself

Is it really Love
If I ask these questions?

Will I ever find an exact match?
Someone who thinks like me
    or act as I'd expect?
Because my expectations are unrealistically high
So I'd never find someone better, right?

I blame the movies.

Sometimes when it's late.
I turn over and want to call you.
I never do.
Believing that it's best I let you rest.
In reality I need to hear your voice so I too
Can nod off into a decent sleep.
Otherwise I am tossing and turning thinking of you.
It doesn't have to stop there.
This late night call.
Ignoring the middle of the day.
Longing to hear you melt.
Even if you can't talk.
To tell you that I've found a place that I want to stay.
And that I hope you have too.
To wish you a good night.
The best kind of therapy.
A call that leads to spreading the night in your arms.
Finding the sun at night.
To tell you I love you before dozing off.