Somedays life will
seem like it's going all uphill
some nights you'll cry
screaming as if you wish you could die
sometimes your heart must break
sometimes you have to make mistakes
life isn't all cake and roses,
but those that I'm speaking to already know this

I know it sounds like I'm living a cliche
but you can't have the rainbow without the rain
you can't have a day without the night
so please keep going, don't give up the fight
I'm not saying that to sound preachy
I'm saying it because I almost ended it recently

I looked deep into my soul and saw my family
though they arent perfect they were there for me
not just my blood relatives but my family in ink
you're never alone, no matter what you think

If I'm not here tomorrow don't feel sorrow
just carry on until the rise of the Sun on the morrow
tomorrow isn't promised to anybody everyday in Chicago you hear about another dead body
chalk in the street the whole family meets
at the funeral home a parent burying a child they may have raised all alone

It's like we try to raise kings without thrones or queens with overactive hormones
our children spend more time alone while their parents are away drinking death into a city it's like we constantly create our own committees of death and demons I mean this

They say love makes us do some crazy things
I just wish our lives intertwined
That'd be amazing
I'm like a dog with no bone or a cat without nip
A joke with no punch line or a wet floor that can't slip

I can't help it I'm crazy about you
You saved my life so you know I'd never doubt you
But I physically pain when you're away
I ache And hurt, and masquerade like I'm okay
And let's not even talk about hormonal situations
I said you're my superwoman, but even I need saving
I get it, you have responsibilities and stuff to maintain
But me without you is simply insane
I can't stand to think of someone else holding your hand it eats me up inside and today I woke up with tears in my eyes...
disguised as laughter and jokes

I'm like a nicotine head trying to cover up that he smokes
Or Tommy Chong taking Vicadin when we all know he tokes
Or a crack addict with no pipe
a straw with no berry
You're the Apple of my eyes but they close day by day... And it's scary

I'm grateful for my family in ink I think that I'd be insane in the brain I was a lyrical lame now I found I can spit bars with the best they pushed me to the brink beyond my limits I'm in this for life Drs Joke, Midnight Writer, Blue Star with the heart and Cashby, Natasha, Mandy Nothing could tear my poetic family apart we argue and have our issues but it's solved within so we can continue to become stronger as people and as lyricists while I split heads as the poetic mafia axe murderer I'll serve ya like a platter cut your *** like class and watch ya brains splatter all other emcees better scatter poetic blades out and slice and dice like vanilla ices career ending faster like the flash while we make a splash in poetic pools of blood it's like we opened up a dam with a creative flood

We've been texting and calling for six months
and now it's reached its culmination
when you surprised me one day
you're coming here for vacation

I ran out to the store immediately
bought condoms, **** n toys
I also warned the neighbors
because we were gonna Make lots of noise,

I met you at the airport
you're even more beautiful in person
we talked on the way to my apartment
you wouldn't forget this I'd be certain

when we finally arrived you saw I lit some candles and laid some flowers on my bed
we kissed caught up with the moment
and lust flowing through our heads

I laid down below you because you wanted to be in charge
we kissed again while between your legs
I got ever so hard

You slid my shaft out of its pocket
and bounced on me without hesitation
As we got caught up in all the passion
you screamed MY GOD WHAT A VACATION!

Lately I've been crying internally externally I'd seem weak even though I'm already sensitive and rather meek but I've been lonely ****** can Ikik really blame me I found love that I no longer seek but we haven't talked recently I mean we don't have beef but it'd be nice if we spent a bit more time together like wu tang getting cream I mean I hate sounding clingy but I miss my lady can you blame me she's amazing entrancing like a hypnotist I swear we're into ***** **** but we've not been talking lately ugh I hate her job I know she has to work but she's my lantern in life's bog but anyway enough about my relationship issues now onto my constant sadness I hate parts of what I've become it's like I honestly thought I'd be much different from what I am I thought I'd be able to do much better socially and emotionally but I'm one depressing ******* I swear dating sometimes leaves my heart plastered on the wall in my room like it was another enemy in doom with gloom and staying almost exclusively in my room
okay I'm done now I've gotten more of these sick emotions off my chest and into the ocean that is the internet

I could take all the sickness from my heart and write it to my evil twin in a message and she wouldn't judge me no matter how late I send it
I can be the most depressed or depressing or cry my eyes into a stupor And I'll still get a response saying "I believe in you you're super."
Lord knows I've been a diary or a journal to some of my friends
now I have one of my own I can talk to like I was writing with my pen
So Misty, thank you honestly for putting up with my crazy self
I probably wouldn't have woken up today if it wasn't for your help
you've been more to me than a book on a shelf
You've been a friend, mentor, and a mechanic to my damaged self,
Been more consistent and reliable than the police when I needed help

:)

When I say I love you just know that I mean it
My heart became a coupon that you redeemed its crazy how I've gone all the way over the cheesy moon for you
I knew better exsisted, I didn't know it'd be you.

When I say I'm not giving up I will not rest I'm not gonna let my first real love in sometime go I guess you're stuck with me like I am with you
I go so crazy without I don't know what to do

When I say your beautiful it's like I'm describing a work of art
Your body drunkens my eyes while you cast a spell on my heart
I hope and pray that we never part
I met the woman of my dreams
and over I don't wanna start

What most people don't realize
is that inspiration lives in front of your eyes
pain is often it's favorite disguise
but it also takes other forms to hide
love, hatred, lust and beauty
and we as poets must fulfill our duty
to catch inspiration in all of its forms
and pen it down with ink, so our voices can't be ignored.

Would you mind if I related a story to you
about how my headphones picked me up when I was Ohhhhhhhhhh so blue?
When I cried like a baby
until I. could block out the world and listen to my first love daily?

Well peep the scene I had just turned 13
and I was in middle school
away from my friends and family
it took a lot to resist doing something rash and being tossed out on my a$$.

Anyway for the first time in my life,
the prime time of my life at that
I was alone, my only friends right then being the clothes on my back
and the headphones I had put into my backpack

Well my MP3 at the time was on shuffle,
after I got out that day and avoided a scuffle
I put my earbuds in promptly and what did I hear?
RHCP under the bridge, a song I still hold dear
"Sometimes I feel like my only friend"
was a lyric that described exactly the situation I was in.

I was being pushed right then to end my life and become food for the crow or raven
but that song saved my life
and even after all the tears I cried that night
I got up. stronger. ready to carry on life's grand fight.