Now I've faded so far I'm already gone...
I've faded so fast I'm just a shadow to those I've forgotten...
I'm so far gone feels like I'm sinking...
How can they see, how can know what I'm thinking...

Lost, feeling it until late tomorrow
Feet swallowed by this sorrow
Just like the truth it's hard to swallow
With these demons in brain
You know I can't complain just know I'm going insane, you know I'm with it, I'd wait a whole year or maybe its just 10 minutes so lost keeping up with your feelings, the parchment of hate I'm not granted, I just want real love, admitting it's not enough, though I question it and say **** these feelings, I think I'm running a race and ain't winning, I'm insane, mental deranged and I love it but I can't complain, life might be a mistake but at least it's far from fake and at the end of day everyone's the same, Air Jordans stained with heather, this girl must Satan if she thinks I'm the devil, turn the heat up might give me something to marvel at, now take a step back and give me some space, first and last thing I wants you in my face....

Now I've faded so far I'm already gone...
I've faded so fast I'm just a shadow to those I've forgotten...
I'm so far gone feels like I'm sinking...
How can they see, how can know what I'm thinking...

Took my first steps at age four, already running from my family, running from the law, thoughts already lost and that was before, before I knew where to look, my hands keep shaking, my reputations so shook, why do I keep fighting when I know it's forward I should look, yet still I retreat back, back into the pages of my books, a fictitious liar sinking farther then they can see, every task I've undertook, misunderstood, lost the will get out of bed, lost the will to even wish that I could, so I just lay here, swallow my lies with a side THC, when closed eyes picture my death to foresee, gone with the wind but I'm caught in the trees, holding me backs easy, my head keeps pounding, the noose and me forever...  and possibly... maybe in time... maybe they'll see...

Now I've faded so far I'm already gone...
I've faded so fast I'm just a shadow to those I've forgotten...
I'm so far gone feels like I'm sinking...
How can they see, how can know what I'm thinking, thinking...
How could they know...

You see...
When I look back...
Never thought I come this far...
Still rely on a cigarette to clear my head...
But this is just the beginning...


I've never did this for the money,
The struggle was enough, ain't that funny,
The blood in my veins says different,
I'm down here lord, on one knee,
can't you see, how can this be, this castle's collapsing in on me..


It's been a long time since I've discussed this, can't see far but shot so fast you must of missed it, been in this game a while so don't diss this, and now my times come to prove it, they knew this, turn down memory lane and all I see is all the lost faces, lost places, a southern soul in the infinite race, life misplaced but no one can take my place, feeling like it's all over, lost it all under stone roses, running through the back roads, still on the search for a home, a boys dream southern love but through the northern fields he roams...


I've never did this for the money,
The struggle was enough, ain't that funny,
The blood in my veins says different,
I'm down here lord, on one knee,
can't you see, how can this be, this castle's collapsing in on me...


Before I knew; this fame I was chasing, thought I was crownless royalty but little did I know there's no kings in this game, and you know I'm on it, a cold wind blows but you know I'll hold it, with what's left of the rest of life, I carry the torch of wildfire and burn man down if he gets to close, almost lost what's been built from the shelter I called my home, now do you wonder why I'm locked in this room all alone, when you wonder wear in this world all alone, looking for something to hold and call it my own, locked out of my memories, a penny for your thoughts, guessing this music takes its toll, toll to roll, a fee to see, a world to behold, 10 steps closer to the chest of riches and gold, rich in riches, what you think wealth is, you think it's 10x the *******, you think you gotta to keep it switching, relationships are what I'm stitching, back together, fight for what you believe in no matter whether, it's for yourself or the people closest to you, but I've shot myself in the foot because of you and at the end of it all I could never get close to you...


I've never did this for the money,
The struggle was enough, ain't that funny,
The blood in my veins says different,
I'm down here lord, on one knee,
can't you see, how can this be, this castle's collapsing in on me..


I've been as clean as off white vanilla, getting so big they see me coming like Godzilla, a thunderous clap as I walk, ready for the attack when I talk, never been a hoodlum but I'm going out with bang like Guy Fawkes, my curtins are closed so quit the talking, this is my game now and I'm never playing sober, you disagree well then put the controllers away it's game over, never been a criminal aside for indecent exposure, head to the light, cross in my hand, look to Jehovah, ya'all thought you had my kind I want out of this enclosure, the vanilla gangsta, the original casanova, and when you feel down, march on, loves never over...


I've never did this for the money,
The struggle was enough, ain't that funny,
The blood in my veins says different,
I'm down here lord, on one knee,
can't you see, how can this be, this castle's collapsing in on me..
Collapsing in on me...
In on me...
In on me...
In...
On...
You...

I just want to let you know...
I appreciate time we spent together...
Though short as it was, it was worth every second...

If love is a game then I'm loosing it, if love is a drink then I'm boozing it, I have no choice but I'm choosing it, blacked out glass and I still see through it, maybe I still wondering what could've been, what might of been, only it's too late to see I
used to see, can you believe, time shared but you were hardly free, only been 3 months and you had to leave, so far away feels like you're over seas, but you're so close, just out of reach, why can't get you, glued to home and can't move my feet, you make me loose myself so I'll be blowing ****, I'm the rapper lost in love with no boundaries, I'm in too deep, I stand alone, close my eyes and I see you here with me...

Yeah...
I ain't got time to hold your hand...
Hold your hand, hold your hand...
I ain't got time to rest my head...
Rest my head, rest my head...
Closed eyes...
Closed mind...


20 years from now we could end up together; who knows, seems like forever but let the impossible grow, you really showed me how to do this, without you I'm hopeless, I sit on the night bus writing this feeling down right broken, the light of life blinding my eyes, how did I let you go, I remember cowering in the corner, police on the road, sirens in my head, letting my tears flow, a kid with no chance, been useless from the get go, so much ****  has phased me, but no more you know, the things I've seen I how you've never, I told you my plans and you told me to "hit the road". I lost my head, lost for words, I see it in your eyes, from the my music you've heard, the feeling of desire, in your eyes, I feel you burn, you've scarred me from your fire, ours eyes have locked with my hands on your thighs, your hair let loose, and your lips never slip lies, and I've told you from the start, we can never be together and that it's on my mind, your love I've lost, lost and never found...

Yeah...
I ain't got time to hold your hand...
Hold your hand, hold your hand...
I ain't got time to rest my head...
Rest my head, rest my head...
Closed eyes...
Closed mind...

 I like to think I'm a g, good luck with that, I feel like I'm losing it all, would I give up for you in fact, thats a question that passed my mind, and I find life like an exam you have to pass, she knows that, such a shame I failed that class, I know you like you know me, you, only things is our lives contrast, your off to University, I stayed behind, I'll just have to deal with that... I'm sorry...

Yeah...
I ain't got time to hold your hand...
Hold your hand, hold your hand...
I ain't got time to rest my head, rest my head, rest my head...
Closed eyes...
Closed mind...

You be like my tats under my skin, complaining like a ***** because that's exactly where you been, chilling with ******* and you irritating me, got the Ralph Lauren on move, so vicious, doping down with girls who like the swish swish, rolling up my wood, blow an ounce to this as we all should, pull up on you, with brr brrr from in the skrrt skrrrt doing as I do, ***** I been a promo, keep it on the low low but I can't never not be your homie, let's roll up dope go out back and take a smoke, and now you trashass *******, keeping up with me but I'm making no switches, drop top out for burnt out count, but I never make a fuss, ***** I ain't never make a sound, try to never flex out more, you out looking like a clown, you wanna silence me, well good luck with that I'm still to be found, other rappers see me blowing gas as I surpassed you, you see I take that feeling and I cut it through, I'm always on the go, always on the move, and I got the champagne flu, we mix it with the orange juice, pockets so big but can barely hold my brews, taste of mango, lost in the polo, now I'm rolling solo, to you I blow over, never stop the best work working on it 24/7, pimping my fakeass motor, still looking for my heaven, now I guess it's gone, head back to my residence, try find myself out, I'm the counterintelligence, ballin like a laker, like a baker, but I ain't cooking dough, nothing for now but check my flow, can work this like it's nothing, all you ******* can't mess, I'm strawberry fluff'in, have a 1000 ******* and I never bluffing, rocking my shift cos I came from nothing, now I got on the gucci socks in the bathtub, everyone lil bit jeason but that's the thing, you know it's 15 years and that ain't no discussion...

It's time...
It's come...
I didn't do this for myself...
I didn't do this for the money...
I've made a lot of mistakes, gotta understand my life isn't so funny, when I get mad, scribble it down on the page, and like to just laugh, I know it's not enough, but it works, it's got its perks, now I got a chance, believe me I can't where we at, God put us here for a reason, now it's my season, this music you're feeling, my reason being to give this passion a lashing, a beating, a thrashing, understand it, it's not a spliff I'm passing, sick feelings just beat it, you see it I might be sick in the head, believe it, believe that, I don't want your respect, I don't care if you're asking and in the end it's never the cheques I'm cashing...

Both of us see it...
I want to believe it...
I want to accept it...
Our roots have spilt...
You'll never be how far I can see...
You better know...
You better believe me...

Now take a deep breath, need to focus on my strengths, while I write these lines with depth, losing the fight at night, can feel it in my head, instead of mourning I look to the sky instead, praying one day I can look ahead, to a time where I'll never be misread, that's what he said, I'll just be the reject, the unusual suspect, in effect I'll never be perfect, maybe I'm just been indirect, outside playing with the friends in my head, don't believe a work he says, wind in my hair, take my last breath, stand tall it's what he recommends, caution tape is my final rest...
long way down; better clear my head... take the decent...
"Believe me"
he said...

Listen...

I think it's about time we go back to the basics, ever since I joined this I've risen and I'll take it, met people who called me out on ******* what you think that I fake this, everything everytime and everywhere, I want this bad and I really wanna make it, been a few years since I've been at this, but been through hell since age of age six, eyes looking to the light looking for the oasis, but I guess I'm the let down, seeds of our past are long since sown, the king of me never owned a throne, just turned twenty but it feeling like millennia I've been around, some days I still feel like I'm drowning, mostly just feels like I'm surrounded, by my family looking up from the ground...dead is where I'll end up, don't try to interrupt, glass half empty , half full cup, I'm still taking baby steps, been 4 weeks since I've slept, love what I'm doing but I'm still just an adept, but it's the ones closest to you you should protect...

Lines and lies...
I've watched as time goes by...
Where came from and where I hide...
Lines and lies...
Lines and lies...

Now let's rewind 13 years, back when I had no clue why I'm here, don't try say that this isn't real, really you have no clue how I feel, how I'm dealing with this fear, a kid whose life was torture for years, fond memories of being beaten by the stairs, only escape I could see was rope, letting my head hang loose, from the end of a noose, but the reason I didn't choose it, it's because I'm not ******* stupid, what I did instead, was jot all of my thoughts in my notepad, making my life feel a little less sad, a little less mad, a little less lost, a little more like home, yo, choosing to lose my myself in the lyrics, you hear what I said, feeling the music through my veins, trying to feel no pain, now from listening, bless this, hip hop mended all the wrong what I did, do not try to fight this, fall into the abyss, just a kid with the ability to resist, now sing a prayer for this, yeah...


Lines and lies...
I've watched as time goes by...
Where came from and where I hide...
Lines and lies...
Lines and lies...

Addicted to these drugs, addicted to this love, through this war I'm the white dove, I'm never giving in, never giving up, sometimes wondering if I go to sleep will I ever wake up, nah, made a lot of mistakes but I let God do the judging, lying under oath, trying to do both, never try to swim when you can float, set sail on this boat, out to sea, out to see if my life is mine, state of mind, make my worth writing these lines, never need to chase lines, it's my life I've gotta find, limited edition, one of a kind, yeah, addicted to a life I don't really understand, grinding through life ain't never making plans, but how you gonna say, I'll just make it on my way yeah.


Lines and lies...
I've watched as time goes by...
Where came from and where I hide...


It's a little bit twisted, if you learn this, teach this, hold this, keep this. Quieter's quiet won't this, don't try to predict my actions, this is what I'm left with, lost my in own feelings, Closed curtains , doors with railings, jailing me in the current of condition of my state of mind, I can't find, let the light of God shine, clear a path through time, where I'll end up will be redefined, a path walked but always blind...

At the start of it all, with nothing to record, cos my stories were out there being made, these themes of family and faces, being replaced by torture and feeling faceless, with such insignificant lil things remind me of updates of disgrace, born being honest and ended up wasted, refrain..

Tired of chasing these feelings of pain...
Broken legs won't take this strain...
Hills so far from the house of insane...
Street lights are home again...

I gotta thank everyone who pushed me through, my mind was stuck to you, and through you I forgot all this pain, never again, almost lost myself too rope, no hope, too close, lost as a ghost in this home all alone, her anger invoked, her anger in the walls, anger in the floor, but I won't feel no more, gift from God, delivered so raw, the ice did thaw for we now men... and did all for you lord...  

amen...

Glass half full
Glass half empty
Want me to quit this
Don't try to tempt me
Learning how to love
And grow except he
Can't and he knows it..

The glass on the table, not so stable, but I know it just sits there, I wanna change but I'm know I'm not able... to follow my dreams, it's not as it seems, sometimes it just creeps in, depression just seeps in, change doesn't seem to fit in yeah I see the same people, day in, day out, these people are the reason I see you... when it gets bad and things get worse, sitting in the dark and fly with this curse...

Glass half full
Glass half empty
Want me to quit this
Don't try to tempt me
Learning how to love
And grow except he
Can't and he knows it...

You know time goes by, so better let me rhyme, you know these rythmic rhythms are mine, all time, used to rap about gold and grime, all the things you have when life is fine, but now I'm staying in mind, for its my brothers I'm out to find, skipping countries to find, ya'll like "join us" I decline, your soul relies on crime, half empty just like mine, all these petty rappers been outshined, and every single time I try these thoughts in my mind take control of what's left redefined in my life, who knows what's left in the sky once I'm refined, no clouds, stay loud, what's left to my right, half empty half full it's my place in life I have to find... yeah...

Glass half full
Glass half empty
Know I can't quit this
Don't try to tempt me
Know how to love
And already grown except he
Can't and he knows it..
Can't and you know it...
Can't and I know it...

These long nights...
Our grey skies...
The fire in our lies...
I can't back down,
March on to the fight...
 
Grey skies on long nights, I know the past is the past, on these long nights I'm just wondering if it lasts, used to lead myself in the fast...lane but now just feels overcast, seeing people you used to see, and they ask, "what you doing with your life?", you wouldn't get it, but you really wanna know right, hoping to change things, long flights on these long nights, feeling feelings you know are right, days gone by, never see the light, only feel the heat when to me you lie, take what i can get, work by day and work by night, grinding out my life, I see you look in from the outside, live my life by the wayside, chase my dreams but don't chase lines...

These long nights...
Our grey skies...
The fire in our lies...
I can't back down,
March on to the fight...

 Gimme my shovel it's about to get scarier, tearing out your tears, tear down my boundaries, digging myself a grave, but end up burying her, is that how I feel, maybe I should bury my anger, now I'm scarying her, I know I'm not alone out here, traveling my on own, not a soul to endear, is that ya'll see it, question me and I feel it, shoulders dripping from your tears, I'm the bird of night, break up, we fight, we lose, I choose, chose this path, how many outcomes can you see, do the math, music as passion, music as a life, chasing my dreams despite it, taking longer without a guide, my future is in the hands of my applied crimes, though this I decline, with a home I can't find, under these grey skies, on these long nights...

These long nights...
Our grey skies...
The fire in our lies...
I can't back down,
March on to the fight...

When I was...

When I was...

When I was 18!

Back at it again, mind doing loops, going through a bend, wading through a field of blood but all I needs a friend, feeling like I'm starting to decend, down a path I'm never coming out of, feeling things are a lil bit intense, and I'm next, but ain't no nobody do it like I do, and in the end, I'll be the one everyone, everything, and nothing will never ******* comprehend, it's this I'm chasing, they might hate it, Ill act like ya'll get it and the game isn't ready, but I am

Living like I'm 18
Take my days with my dreams
Things are different, it's never as it seems
Feeling trapped as a machine
Living like I'm 18
It's hard to choose between

Now I'm starting a new expansion, flushing out everything I use as a distraction, feeling like things are becoming too much; I need to take action, need to go ahead with this, this kinda life I need to abandon, if I go to far now we got a real problem, it's no mistake homie, use your glasses, nevermind my status, this is my ride and I'm captain, I know it's hard to imagine, showing my compassion, no matches to action, I'm no fake for real passion and now it's feels like I'm crashing...

Living like I'm 18
Take my days with my dreams
Things are different, it's never as it seems
Feeling trapped as a machine
Living like I'm 18
It's hard to choose between

I'm full of surprises, how would you discribe this, never too late to realise, how far I'd go to unto demise, yeah now I've got a place to divise, no respect for these lines, ya'll have no idea what I'm going through but ya'll ready to criticise, suppose I should release something more often, and now it's me you've forgotten, walking round looking like a big shot, how long until it's ya'll I haven't got, like to act like a hot shot with a free thought, struggling away last couple of months, sorting out my life and I wonder if I still got it, showing a bit of spark like a megawatt, electricity's not my game but whose to say I'm not shocking, all the little ******* taking their shots, saying I got a case of writers block, so we gonna cut the small talk, they think I've got the writers block, acting like I've hit a road block, that's how you feel well then go ahead and **** my...

...I know it's a joke, a bad one at that, but it's who I am, and it's why I'm born to rap, been wanting to do this since primary, and to all the offended *****, you don't like my music just fire me, oh wait you can't cause ya'll ******* can't touch me, I'mma follow my path to be who I wanna be... this path I thought would stay uncharted, it's just this, this is my beginning, hate this, but I am just getting started.....

Living like I'm 18
Take my days with my dreams
Things are different, it's never as it seems
Feeling trapped as a machine
Living like I'm 18
It's hard to choose between...