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I’m starting to believe that this nomadic lifestyle
Ain’t at all for the faint of heart
Thousands of places in so little time
Exhausted but I can’t stop yet as no one place holds extreme value to me
Footprints in the sand tell a story of where I’ve been
Darkness engulfs me and makes it harder to decide where to begin
Perhaps I should just ‘eeny meeny miny mo’ it
Since stopping isn’t nearly as important
Thoughts clutter my walkway like precious gems covered by a recent sandstorm
Disgruntled, I glance out over my shoulder
Listening for the whisper of the wind to call out to me
But wait… I’m getting a head of myself
That’s dangerous when you’re a nomad
Whatever is waiting around the next bend
A mystery waiting to be unveiled
Like a grieving widow, mourning her sanity
I run
Disjointed from reality
I feel no pain
Opinions stabbing me like shards of glass
Dripping with the blood of identity
I’m a fraud… and yet, on I run
The tears I’ve cried flow through this deserted land like the Nile
It’s ingenious
They nurture my steps
A suckling waiting to be fed
I travel the worn path
night and day day and night
Stopping only to mark my place
I’ve been here before
And I never even left the comfort of my bed
This journey of a thousand steps
Inside my ever restless mind
Flowers bloom
The sun shines bright
The outside seems alright

But you're there
All bottled up inside

Storms don't last
But yours felt like
Clouds of dust following you
All year round

All you wanted was to shine
But all you see is their squinting eyes
So you stayed behind
Waiting for the crowd to be kind

So you wished
If there was another universe
Where your feet wasn't chained to the ground

You started your first day
Thinking of new beginning
But you stayed inside your head
And ended up running
"Maybe I couldn't"

Strangers and friends
Didn't differ that much
Gone faster than the wind
They wouldn't look back
silence is loud when you're alone
and it's not the absence of noise
or the humming in your ear,
it's something only you can hear and no one else
it's constant and explosive and all around
it's the uproar of your thoughts
making all that sound

you can try and hush it,
try to make it a nice place to be but
you know another just comes
and it can affect you, hurt you
leave you in a loop— analysis paralysis
now don't lose yourself in it
break from that cycle, don't let
it eat at you bit by bit

it's like a virus that spreads
and starts numbing your body
your mind'***** overload and
just blaring, almost deafening...
but still,
you can never hear complete silence
not even when you're alone
so go rest your heavy head
and escape from reality
i'm sorry you have to do it again
because dreams are temporary.
my mind won't shut up and it's speaking nonsense
Brendann Apr 2021
A shifting plane of alternate realities

The waves in the ocean
The uncertainty of the collide

Peaceful for a few moments
Then back to the war of a lifetime

A maze of thoughts
That you try to outrun

A deep and thorough rot
Paralizying you
Keeping you in fear
Giving you glimpses of hope
Just for another wave to consume it

A day in the life
Of an overthinker.
Free Verse
Robert Guerrero Mar 2021
I'm so passed overthinking
My overthinking over thinks
The thinking I'm overthinking
To the point I'm thinking over
What's over thought and I thought
I was over this
Just didn't think it over enough
dilemma dilemma
yeap
Hold on we're in for a bumpy ride
Airwaves collide
I'm pretty sure we've been here before
I'm confused
What was the thought
Somewhere amongst this chaos
I forgot the original thought
Now I'm overthinking
A thought that can't be found
Wait wait
Oh yes I remember now
The thought was simply
Peanut butter or jelly
On the last piece of toast
So both
Or one
But which
Rock
Paper
Scissors
How do I answer this
It's an impossible equation
1+1 is good
1+the other is good
1+2 makes 1
But I wanted to share it with you
So now there's not enough
Either way
So what do you prefer
Before my brain cells implode
Giving up on the hope
I'll ever make a decision
That will justify the reason
Why I'm overthinking
What to feed you for breakfast in bed
Maybe just coffee...
Wait which brand?
How strong?
More or less sugar?
Too much creamer!
**** it I'm going to work
Everything *****
When over-thought thoughts
Become thoughts we've been over
Overthinking themselves
Into non-existence
And I forget how
I started this conversation with myself
Or what it no longer pertains to
What was I talking about again?
Oh yeah do I have everything
What did I forget
Wallet
Keys
Phone
Socks
Shoes
Pants
Shirt
Necklace
Hat
30 minutes later it'll remind me
I woke up hungry
Couldn't decide what to feed myself
It's too late, I'm late for work
My daily life as an overthinker.
Lissa's Locket Feb 2021
First thought is no wrong doing then comes the guilt an overwhelming brush of worry and others judgement piercing threw your sub conscious with the desire to take over every emotion until you feel the wrong the hate the absolute anger that you have given or force upon another to open your mind to realize your inner darkness has a tendency to shine threw your eyes or ora perhaps that Darkness numb your heart or even blur your vision it cannot do magic nor make disappearing moves with the truth first thought is only no wrong doing when you're not seeking forgiveness
Nina Feb 2021
3 am

─┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄─

What if we both left the earth,
And just run over it.
But I wish I could hear-
That we don’t have to be ordinary.
I’ve been thinking too much,
I feel tired inside,
But I am never tired of you,
You don’t know what it feels like.
I would write you a million love songs,
just to hear you sing,
I’ll make this feel like home,
this isn’t just a thing.
I would give you all the stars,
If you give me the night,
Where can I go more than far,
If we are out, out of time.
I’m strong enough to leave you,
I think I might die,
but weak enough to need you,
my heart asks me to cry.
Memories haunt me. I can't hide my feelings.
I was a piece more or less,
Unfit in the puzzle of society,
Framed and judged,
Broken and scraped,
Torn to the base.

I stood to be the thinker,
With thoughts as the mate,
As the wife is too a husband,
I kept courting with anxiety,
Maybe sometimes with fear,
Or with shame that world-acclaimed,
As the flaws of being me.

I stood there many times,
Neither to be oriented,
Nor to be included,
Just to be accepted with love,
As a poison is to nectar,
I was the toxin to them  
I was discarded and treated,
To purify the viciousness,
An be a part of the deprived fellowship.

I can't stand anymore there,
With the crime of resistance,
To not oblige with the rules,
As a cage is to the bird,
Statutes were the prison,
To my solivagant soul .

Shredded with the conclusions
I was qualified as an outcast,
Neither a human,
Nor a living being
All it was a prolonged-term
As a slave is to the master,
I was chained to the phrase.
To be always smashed,
Under the debts of acceptance.
From expecting to accepting.......
Rosie Toes Sep 2020
I'm lazy
but only when I shouldn't be.
Why is the idea of running errands so paralyzing?
I pick and choose my battles
but most of the time, I choose wrong.
I get scared easily.
I lack courage, I lack strength.
I dwell
constantly, continuously, painfully dwelling on everything.
I can never muster up the courage to look at my reflection.
I love to poke and tease, playfully,
but it shatters my core when it is directed at me.
I'm an overthinker, but I will react without thinking.
I am sad often, when I don't have a right to be.
I forget sometimes, "each day is for the making"
and I drink too much coffee.
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