Counting candles


It’s a gloomy Tuesday as the rain falls all around.
The sound of church bells sums up the irony of this day; so down.
Another void future, a distant horizon pulls away from me.
Frozen in place; my heart is empty.


In this fragile state of mind,
I just don’t have the strength to self-hate.
I love to loathe, but what is the point?
People walk on by as I stare at my feet; I am without a choice.
Love life’s hand-break is keeping me in this state.
A heart divided; I cannot give this love away.


Romance is a stranger to my life.
Everybody is in love, it seems, to the one who cannot even try.
Last chance I took turned into a joke.
I laughed at my luck for I am a fool without hope.
I trust in the failure when I fail to trust.
I love my misery; it does not ask me for love.


I’m counting candles in a church;
So many old flames have gone out.
One day I will give up searching for love
And leave you all to be happy without me…
But that time is not yet now.


(C)2017 Aa Harvey. All Rights Reserved.

I heard you whisper
...that poem to me
You're right here...
where you should be

I heard you whisper...
sweet poetry in my ear
and all I hear...
....just draws me...
nearer...
to you
and I now
I just can't breathe

Feels like we are too far
in between the pages
our spirit and our soul
..it feels like I am whole...
And your beauty is...
everything to me.

You told me ....
my everything
that it would be alright
that I have nothing that I should fear
should have pushed you from my ears?
I know...
something that I just can't fight
at least
not for tonight
so alright....
I'll just..
relax.

And listen to the crickets
and the blinding stars
And be thankful for
just where we are
In these tight fitting arms...
again...
Your intoxicating
magic charm ...
you've got me
....gone....
tonight.

At least
... if you..
my everything ...
if tonight it's just a dream
It seems....
I have found you under my covers
....my only....
one true
....midnight lover

Though I'd be totally remiss
if I did not wish
.... for such soft and perfect
pillow kisses
on my neck...
oh...
what the heck...
yes....that's the place
and touch your beautifully...
familiar face
so that I...
... can retrace...
our love.

It sends me off...
to the farthest recesses of our outer space...
without a trace..I'm gone
again.

And in your deep
..... sweet voice...
it's seeping in...
when we got lost
in endless nights
in long pillow talks
and on our passioned  lovers walk...
I wish that I could...
....Keep you here with me
though I know..
that you are free
I am praying

Eyes open....I blink my eyes
then close them tight
... and quickly realize
It's just a dream...
I'd really wish
that
I could scream..
..but...
I want to thank you
for stopping here
my darling...
my love...
my dearest...dear
and dropping off of such a beautiful memory....
letting me see you again...
and giving me the chance
to finally ...
say
Goodbye.

missing the time in between
what was won't will be sometimes often
didn't

easy to forget the reasonable logic
behind the now seemingly nonsensical choice
that left you in the current Yearn.

the sweetsour regret, softly ignored scratches
the polish and veneer of worn out synapses
a  pleasantly blurred fastforward-lacquer

I skip the years like stones
pausing fingers on the page of a smile
turning my face away from  the cracks
stepping blithely over the day your words carried false

licking the envelope on an argument
stamped To Forget.

I choose

instead.

to love the memory of You.