My Mother-In-Law lives with me,
and boy does she need some help;
She doesn't brush her hair anymore,
she's given up on herself.
~
Her outlook is mostly negative,
for she sees no good at all;
I which she was a Horse,
so I could put her in a Stall.
~
I cringe whenever she wants to cook,
for a Pancake she can't even flip;
I'd love to take her for a ride,
and push her off of a cliff.
~
She's become a bit, "Man Crazy,"
she'd take anyone who can breath;
So I took her to a Nursing Home,
she replied, "Too old for me."
~
I began to feel quite sorry for her,
so a "Blind Date" I one day arranged;
He brought her home, 'fore ten p.m.,
and said "She was much too strange."
~
Her bleach-blonde wig kept slipping,
and her teeth, they wouldn't stay in;
I believe she doesn't stand a chance,
of finding a date, e'er again.
~
She has no taste in men,
so I never allow her to date;
I keep her hidden inside all day,
'less Bigfoot wants to mate.
~
It seems I'm truly stuck with her,
so I'll take the good with the bad;
For she has a never-ending love,
that I am so blessed to have.

She attacks in the night and the day too,
She counts her thorny roses then throws them at you,
The cuts they sting but not worse then the look she gives,
She’d be glad if you died as long as he lives,
Love her as if she was your own,
but when I try she steps to the thrown,
I’m the peasant so she thinks,
But she doesn’t know I bite like a lynx,
Karma will catch up to her,
When I attack I don’t purr,
My claws will give you the pain you gave me,
Once you open your eyes you’ll let us be..