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- Jul 2016
Feel less dread when you think about the complex nights you've had,
stupors you've fallen into,
lovers you've kissed.

Those things are okay,
and everybody does them.

Eat your breakfast on the fire escape, and watch the birds.

Read a little every morning, too
and remember that "morning"
means "before twelve pm."

Breathe a little, darling,
and not just into the mouth
of a stranger.
Number 48.
- Jul 2016
I am migrating between two worlds,

and learning to do it swiftly
Number 47.
A pretty joyful little number for today :)
Julia Mae Jul 2016
i hate it when i have to sleep without you
but i can't tell you that
because i know that you do not feel the same  
you do not miss my skin as your blanket
as i do yours
nor my chest as your pillow
yet you are my favorite pillow
i miss when i can't see your face the moment that i awake
it always gives me the best start to my day
i know that you will awake and start your day just the same
with or without my bleary eyes and sleepy face

i hate it when i have to sleep without you
because of all these tiny things
but i can't tell you that, no ...
i can't
Julia Mae Jul 2016
i like laying in your bed better than my own
even if i'm alone
because at least here, there are still traces of you everywhere
and maybe when you come back
you'll lie next to me in bed
and tell me that you love me
melting into thoughts of the other
as if this is our own quiet world
and we cannot be bothered by any hurt
- Jul 2016
Hello, I hope you're doing well in the midst of this chaos.

I'm aware that I left a long time ago, but
I wanted to write to you and see if I could recall your face.

I hope that you've transitioned smoothly,
found yourself in that whirlwind of a body at last,
and quieted.

I hope that you're still writing,
that you've tamed the seas
the way you often dreamed of doing.

I hope that you've found dry, calm earth
and settled down
in Tuscon
to grow old and paint
like the Georgia O'Keefe you always said you were.

Please paint a beautiful ******, just for me.

I hope that you'll recall my name now and again,
and think to smile, and, I hope

You'll forgive that all of my sentences have begun with "I."

See, I don't know how else to tell you
that I wish I could get to know you again, and that
your eyes held answers I could never have imagined,
nor knew how to uncover.

I don't know how to write you, because
this isn't a love letter
no, it couldn't be a love letter, but
something deep in here wants it to be?

I wish you'd know that I'm sorry for leaving,
and all the pain I'd caused, I wish you'd know also that
none other has compared to you

(I know it's a small consolation, but bear it with you in the night when you're feeling lonely, I suppose)

I hope you've found games you love to venture into and people who make you smile, and that you've seized all your opportunities for adventure with both hands.

I hope you're no longer hiding your poetry, and that the world will soon bear witness to your words and declarations, and, I hope

that, someday, you'll remember
to stop forgetting me.
Number 46
SPOKEN WORD
A letter to another, but a letter to myself?
Julia Mae Jul 2016
everything is different and strange
but i can't force change on you
and i can't make you love me
just like you used to
- Jul 2016
I fell in love with an actress

and she didn't know

when to step off the stage.
45
- Jul 2016
You said, in small text:

<p>OKAY. Let’s talk about this. </p>

<p>✨CW: transphobia, mental health stuff, strong language✨</p>

<p>[Reblog the hell out of this post. It’s about to be important].</p>

<p>I woke up this morning to my girlfriend, my partner-in-crime, my best friend, my favorite bean, sending me this photo. She couldn’t believe that it was real and thought that I was playing some sick joke. </p>

<p>Good ******* morning. </p>

<p>Listen up, whoever you are, you entitled little ****. Your opinions, attractions, desires, whatever they are - they DO NOT MATTER. Assuming, based on the context of your post, that you identify as a guy, let me just say this: </p>

<p>You are a small man. You’re using the guise of anonymity to objectify a radiant woman whose depth and breadth you can’t ever begin to comprehend - and I’m not just saying that because she’s mine. You’re also transphobic as **** - and clearly don’t understand that trans-ness and genitalia are actually (and often) far removed from each other. </p>

<p>I’d like to think that I don’t need to explain why the comment “your girl ain’t a girl no more” (in addition to being grammatically terrible) is NOT acceptable, but in case I do, here is MY two cents on the matter of MYSELF. </p>

<p>I fought for this body. I bled for this consciousness, I shined light into places in me that I didn’t know existed and found depression, dysphoria, trauma, and loads of anxiety. I nearly died for this body. If it hadn’t been for a select few people who saw me for the love I was worth, I wouldn’t be alive to write this post. That’s not an exaggeration, it’s a fact. </p>

<p>I’m telling you, stranger, this because there is more behind your words than you know. Each time you take your privilege and cishetero advantage for granted and allow misguided, bigoted words to fall out of your disgusting face-hole or fingertips, you’re reminding me of how I almost died for this body and consciousness. How my girlfriend and countless others like us have been subject to vast physical and mental torment for our queerness, our trans-ness, our SELVES.</p>

<p>I’m addressing you not as you, but as the mass of people you represent. I’m posting this on behalf of the 22 trans people who were murdered last year because of ignorance like yours. I’m posting this on behalf of feminine-identified people everywhere who deal with the wrath of objectification, sexism, and violence that your very actions embody and permit. </p>

<p>
Number 44.

This is a coded copy of a draft written awhile ago, see the previous poem for context.
- Jul 2016
He said to her:

So you date guys? Cause like your girl ain't a girl no more so hit me up ;)
Number 43
- Jul 2016
She said:

<3 I love you very much babe. You’re amazing <3
Number 42

Written to be paired minimalistically, across the page from one another.
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