My fingers lace through yours
Even though it's new it feels like home
We're surrounded by crowds
But I can only see you
When you reach for my hand
My heart drops into my lungs
A contact so simple
Yet it seems to change everything
Chaos twists into calm
Anxiety transcends to joy
Right now nothing else matters
Just heartbeats and soft skin
You, me
And nothing in between

body in a rage
blood bubbles rummaging
horns begin to make an entertrance
howls of shrieking agony
veins shattering
with pupils dilated and saliva trailing down my crimson stained lips
your best bet is to run.
get the **** away from me.

my body is a topic that trails the mouths of a family at dinner
it is the trail of saliva that leaves shortly after breaking a heated kiss
always leaving a bitter taste

but when did you taste me?
when did I crawl into your mouth full of cavities?

existing as I am cements chains in people's root canals
a topic for discussion
my life to debate
trans people being the forefront
it is so inconvenient and sinful
and yet its the flavor on their seething lips

kissing one another trailing more saliva
knowingly trading hate with ones mind and lips
integrating more citizens and normalizing their behavior

transphobia is the topic for discussion

pieces of my puzzle are aligning
trauma and enlightenment go well together
it seems as though once you've hit rock bottom
the very top feels like heaven

a walking contradiction
how do you go from wanting to die
to living your life with authenticity

pieces fitting in shapes never seen before
pieces shifting sizes finishing the next assignment

a life on hold
holds very little to me

finishing my next task is today
but what is for tomorrow?
craving more isn't selfish
it's fulfilling
questions make me contemplative
unable to sleep at night
thoughts running for more
the adrenaline keeping me alive

pieces of my puzzle can break apart
pieces deceive me and don't actually fit
it is a lesson to look more closely

a piece has appeared
it's unclear where it goes
where it starts
where it ends
it will belong in due time

This one time you said
Your feelings live in your stomach
Well mine live in my lungs instead
Like flowers tangled along my ribcage
My feelings for you steal my breath away
Intricate patterns of greens and pinks
Weave carefully along the cold white bones
And tug so frequently against my airways
They're starting to feel like home
I see your face and
For a second I forget to breathe
Even your name across my phone screen
Pulls my inhalation out of sync
Your arms wrapped around me tightly
Exhale all else nonexistent
The beat of your heart against my own
Feeds those clinging vines
All the air that I have left
But in those breathless moments
When its just you and me
I swear it feels like peace