inadequacy is not a feeling of sadness;
more so one filled with great anger
and a sense of betrayal.
don’t let yourself
get to your head
because-
soon-
it will surely
force your happiness
dead.

Sweeten, let’s, a coast of dun
Therefrom which, the tides erode,
A castle to blind the mighty sun
Affront to that Poseidon, and others
On the beach.
***** the walls and battlements
Fair crystal arm the turrets
The audience of the hermit *****
Pay silent homage to the throne
Intricate are its libraries, etched
Our history inside the tomes.
Only grains of perfect stock
From which antiquity, in full credit,
Will revere the lot
And poetry of human might
Shaped and forged to kiss the day of light
Only  that may suffice.
In this endeavor, no ancients will tenet
Its salty beams but the children of the morn
For we shall build the universe
From when progenitors are born.

Before it began, we were dismayed
Our future, castle, by waves waylaid
Aspirations sink, now, from shape.
But, Gods, I curse you!
Let my destiny rise free!
Look now before you:
A stone in ocean of mediocrity!
All these that build up forts
Lack in that spirit to fight, retort
**** you, **** you, waters of my doubt
Turn false the shades of realism
Which I thought it all about
**** you, **** you sands of time
For now all that founds my dreams
Is erosion of the shoreline sand.

Another slimy page absorbed by gentle, tender hands
Another reality channel infected by impossibilities
Another grainy film shaded by green to hide the truth

All eyes are glued to these perfections
Simple utopias I can never be

Her hair, his eyes, their laugh, that smile

How disheartening it is
for my friends to say one word
when the tags on my clothing say another

A dent here, a scar there, a bulge elsewhere
hips too wide, skin too rough, hair too straight, eyes too red,
toes too small, nose too big, scar too dark, skin too light
My entire being is stitched together faults

So my eyes burn as yours shine
I guess it is yet another imperfection

But then again, are the blemishes even mine?

Rosy dreams of means.
Justification after the fact
Rationalize your failures in a moral safety sack.
Fun's gone down while complacency goes up.
You failed to chase after it graced you.
You failed to keep your nose on the tail.
You failed to open up your life to a modern fairy tale.
You're suborned in to night, possessed by desperate hopes gnawing
at the wreckage. incited by the swelling flesh absorbing it all
like wildfire.

A touch of younger stuff
just rolling off your cuff
Weakens my knees
as through the day
I find myself kneeling.
By the end of our encounter
I'm holding back from begging
and crying in between the lines
of the words I speak.
None of it does any good in the end
as your eyes look down
and beckon my back
to the ceiling
Kiss me old man
tell me I'm worth a glance
and I'll give you the nothing sagging through my fingers
As I pursue
my bones find a lack of a base in my words
so my eyes bleed spat flowers
horror on the floor.

Remind me of goals lost
in days of slowly rotting
finding comfort in an easy hole
I can make friends learn
I made friends learn to see only forgetting
Please
just another ten minutes
of panicked searching for proof
that I am the redemption ****
that could grow
through all the stones
I bragged I could seed

The liar mouse is revealed
and pity stays another hand
so I can find another life to steal

Wet stone cuts
through earth
in waves
of a dark sea rising
to settle back
into streaked moonlight
under stars
and clouds
deep blue outline

Warm skin aches
for the peace
of dangerous things
safely seen
at a distance