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Saint kaya Oct 2023
My heart is so heavy over losing you
I have not been able to make sense of this
I just know that this is all wrong
My existence craves you like no other, and to think I might have lost you
Is grievous
I am completely and utterly lost
I am open bare as each day passes and with you I have lose myself whole
I am filled with insurmountable grief
Over you…over us
I clutch to my very bed you stray so far away from
I have woken up dismayed
plagued by homesickness in my very home
I am turning on myself over the loss of you
My heart is no longer my own
Appalled and vengeful over my soul
Every beat of my heart belongs to you as if you were the very essence that gives life to my being
My heart is with you
In your name, blazing full of you
And I too, my love
cupid Aug 2023
Sita smiles as i bring her a sandwich
Two toasts with butter, ham, and cheese
And yet sita smiles as if i've made her a 5 course meal
Sita smiles as i make her a drink of my own recipe
‘Thank you pepe’ she says
And brandishes a glass of mysterious content
She hasn’t tasted it yet
But still she smiles

Sita cheers for me as i run down the soccer field
She’s waiting for me with a hug, even after games i don't play
From the bench
I can see her smile
Sita is waiting in the car i've known my whole life
‘How was school’ she says
Always with a smile

‘I'm coming home Sita’
It's been 2 years since i've seen her
She doesn’t ask when
She doesn't ask how
She smiles

‘I can't come home Sita’
It's the day after the flight i couldn’t get on
She doesn’t ask when i can
She doesn’t ask but I tell her how I missed it
I tell her i love her and will see her soon
She smiles

It's been 3 years since i've seen her
Sita tells me she has cancer
I tell her she's the strongest person i know
I love her
She smiles

‘I promise i’ll fly out to new zealand to see you’
The last time we spoke
She tells me she hates the food there
I think about how i’ll make her a sandwich, like i used to
I tell her it’ll be okay, she’ll be okay
‘I love you Sita, I promise I’ll see you soon’
She doesn’t ask when
She doesn’t ask how
Sita looks at me, the face I’ve known all my life
And she smiles
Sita has sadly passed away, and I think she's taken a piece of me with her.
Brant Jul 2023
You
You move without grace
or ease of temperament,
But your soul is light with air,
Devilish and warm
Whisper Yes Dec 2022
It's ok to miss people
It's ok to miss them
Let yourself feel it
Feel it all
Open wide don't push it down
Don't push it away
Allow the feeling
I miss you
What is this missing?
Let go of needing to know
Allow it when it comes
Alow the love, the missing and the longing
Allow the regret
And the disappointment
Allow it all
Welcome this feeling
Give it a home
Give it expression
Do not suppress or judge it
People touched your life
They touched your heart
Allow it
Don't make it wrong
Don't try and wrap it up as if you understand
Let go of needing to understand
Allow the mystery
Allow it to flow
I love
I miss
I feel
Nothing needs to be done
Open up and allow it expression
Allow it to bring you alive
They mattered to me
They deeply mattered to me
And I miss them
Ila Mar 2022
When you do an action enough
Your body naturally remembers it

My hands still remember the trace of your face
Moving to your lips, a soft outline

My eyes remember the way it felt to divert the attention you had so pleasantly given me

My mouth remembers the way I spoke your name
The laughs we shared together

And in a way, my tongue remembers yours
Learned ways on how to pleasure and love

My body remembers the way you touch it
Innocent touches brought to my face
Passionate touches went to a different place

Muscle memory shows us the past
Things we might’ve forgotten had it not caught after us
Your lasting touch still burns on me
It singes my memory

Until now my muscle memory bugs me about you
Oh how I would love to be touched again by you
The thing is, I saw you recently and we held each other. First of many or last of us?
Louise Oct 2021
You're not talking to me.
Avoiding me.
But the 5 second eye contact we had
felt like everything was back to normal.
MG Sep 2021
I am hurt by you.

I am hurt that I cared more about getting to know what lies beneath your skin.
(Than You did)
I am hurt that you made me feel things I haven’t felt since Him.
(Feelings I didn’t know I was capable of again)
I am hurt that you touched the places that others have been too scared to touch.
(The places that I am too scared to open up)
I am hurt that you lead me to believe that you care more about what my body can give to yours.
(Like all the rest do)
I am hurt that I believed your broken promises.
(Excuses, excuses)
I am hurt that I wanted to trust You, and only You with the most valuable thing I could offer.
(The thing that has been shattered time and time again)
I am hurt because I thought I finally found someone who valued me enough.
(Your actions say the opposite)

But I am grateful for you.
Because you showed me exactly what I will no longer tolerate.
That I am capable of connection, vulnerability, and true intimacy.
Things that I thought had died within me years ago.
Things now, that only someone worthy will receive one day.
To the first person I’ve opened up to in years. Maybe one day we’ll come together again. Ouchie but thank you.
seekai Sep 2021
I walk through a ghost town
where I’m never alone,
kicking empty cider cans across the road,
whispering secrets to the stale, morning air
where my life, at a standstill,
hangs over the beat of a single heart

and a single large Eye,
watching,
always watching,

judging my footsteps as I cross
the path, to a flatland, between the forest
and the streams of music playing in my ears -

there's a spring in my step this cold winter.
Even though I don’t see the sun until it’s too late,
I dance, like the dead, poison in my veins,
because I’m free from my grave.

I’m free from monochrome soil -
draped in a bright pink dress,
I kiss the days away with a warm hand in mine,
and a stolen, back-washed bottle in the other.

I skip on the pavement, rocking back and forth
to high notes and drum rolls,
where I find myself moving between friends and pages,
collared sweatshirts and daydreams.

I whisper my moments of happiness to the North Wind
and hope it travels South,

down to you, down home,

where you’ll hear of my vices
and understand everything.
this poem captures my first term experience in my first year of university. it deals with new-found, personal freedom, along with the chaotic response that comes with it. there's a sense of despair within the anarchy, but also a feeling of homesickness - i've missed you through it all; i want you to hear of my adventures.
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