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I was Knocked  out cold in ICU
For 20 Hours apparently
Of that I have NO memories
However when I started to come to
I heard  the Ding Ding Ding of  a particular sound
The sound of a Heart Monitor  in the background
And  I felt as if I was  travelling on a slow train
On a Course of gentle ups and downs
Turns out I was on a fancy Hospital Air Bed
That was starting to deflate under my weight
For I  had blown up like a Michelin Man Balloon
You know Elephant size in a small room
Most importantly the main thought streaming my Head
Was that I had actually returned from Death
I really had something  I needed to say
And asked for Pen and Paper straight away
In this crazy moment
Without Glasses  on I could not clearly see
What was right in front of me
I had an idea what would  occur
Beyond the  Blur
The mission overwhelmingly clear
To document  a flurry of words
That were erupting in my mind
Let's just say it soon became a frantic mess and time drew close to digress from all my witnessed scribble dribble
To be heard with a  revelation of my so-called life changing  words
It was chaotic with Family, Doctors and Nurses  gathering around
I even called out to the Wardie too
As I sat upright in bed and said
I have something important to tell you
Firstly I shouted out that I needed a  swear jar
You know something to toss a coin in, maybe quite a few
Then I felt in overdrive when I  exclaimed there's nothing there
There's nothing F'Ning there
Off the top of my Head
No F'Ning Afterlife  I meant
The Lights go out and there is no one Home Kind of Zone
I didn't get much of a chance to  Banter on
Before a  Nurse  kindly Shhhhhhhh'd me
And suggested later when we were alone she would
explain all I needed to know
Being so disturbed I was quickly made to  realize that Doctors had saved my life  when they knocked me out medically
So apologetically I cried out to everyone in the room that
I didn't do a Led Zeppelin - Pink Floyd - see the Dark Side of the Moon
For I  sincerely hoped in the moment I had not stumbled anyone's  world view - beliefs and values
I had just been on some kind of trip
Versed in Metaphors and Analogy
Induced by something pretty strong to  remembering specific Songs
The upshot is  I actually  do care that I have not been there
And I am Grateful that I 've  had the opportunity
To  resolve a Mystery!

(c) Debra Lea Ryan
10-July-2024
& Feb 21st - 23rd, 2021
☀♥ƸӜƷ✿♬
This piece I guess needs more work.  I just really wanted to write  in this Moment (well I flowed and worked the words over a few Days) .  This experience was Hell on Earth at the Time.   The Healing Humor kicked in for me  eventually.  Maybe I need to write a song called ICU Blues -  Bed Pans and Tubes!
Megitta Ignacia Apr 2022
Eighty years young
Speaking in tounge

Your body fought
Head full of bizarre thought

Arms and legs restrained
How are you not frightened

Are they violent, Yah?
We tried, everything,
for the shake of your revival

I can't bear to see you like this
I wish you are dismiss

Heavily sedated & exhausted
To tired to wrestled & agitated
Lord please take his pain away
090422 | 18:28 in Borromeus ICU's waiting room. Dari kemarin dadakan dari kantor langsung ke airport ke bandung. Ayah kritis. I go bcs mama papa minta langsung ke bdg. It's painful to see him like this. God give him mercy please.
Coralium Dec 2021
It’s strangely busy around the deathbeds,
as well it’s my last nightshift of the year.
I try to make no noise, can you hear me?
Push my hand, if you can, move a limb.
Your breath is so slow, please keep going,
monitors flash in time with the ventilator.
I’ll control the pupils, I know it’s blinding.
No one goes with their sparkling old eyes,
we are usually fading before we are dying.
Seranaea Jones Nov 2021
-


what do you say to someone
you love from such a distance ?

a stroke could be measured by
how far it is from the first floor
to the intensive care unit

or from the steering wheel
to the door **** of the
hospital entrance

or from your drive way to
the spot where you have to
pay for parking

or from the handset of
your telephone to his ear—

exhausted,

you can only
whisper
into it—

"i love you Daddy"

and hope this time
he can feel your
breath...


s jones
Nov 2021


.
Sweet Calamity Aug 2021
No real connections and no restraints…
I watch you breathing and feeling faint.
I hold your hand and ask you to fight.
I will tell you, your attitude can save your life.

I know you’re alone, please know I am here.
I see you starving for oxygen, I feel your fear.
Please listen to the doctor trying to prescribe,
their knowledge and experience can save your life.

Please try my darling, you’re just too young.
Starving for oxygen can leave you high strung.
Don’t you understand the BiPAP can save your life? Or should we start the process and notify your wife?

Sweetheart, I get that this is hard!
You can’t breathe deeply, your lungs are scarred.
I know that I will always ask for too much.
We need to get you out of bed and sit you up.

But, let me tell you the other route.
If you give up, unfortunately, we have our doubts.
We might end up having to intubate…
And leave those strong wrists in soft restraints.

This is something we as nurses know,
Unfortunately, once intubated your prognosis is low.
Most Covid patients never wean off of the vent,
So say goodbye to your family and friends.

I’ll hold your hand no matter what you decide,
I’ll hold the phone to your ear listening to your families last goodbyes…
We will all cry and all of our hearts will break,
You’ll just just be another statistic the media will define as “fake.”






… please know I’ll always remember you by heart,  I’ll remember your story from end to start, I’ll never forget what you’ve been through, because that’s what we as nurses do.
Corbyn Apr 2020
Everything is black
I don’t know where I am
Everything is unknown

this couldn’t have been the plan
my body is shaking
they rush to my side
my heart is racing
theyre afraid I might die

Levels of consciousness vary
I verbalize many of sounds
My limbs are impossible to carry
In my head I am no where to be found

My eyes were open
And my mouth too
I took too many pills
I didn’t think things through
Somewhere in my mind
I’m hoping I don’t die
And my body took the controls
and said, “We have to stay alive“
Corbyn Feb 2020
There’s pieces missing of my life
I know I should have thought twice

Taking the pills
and mentally preparing my will

But knew it wasn’t right

I drove to help
So glad I did

If I had waited
I would be dead
Corbyn Jan 2020
I don’t remember much of the time
Where I was in the hospital about to die
Awake for 36 hours
But what is time?
When you’re not coherent
Everyone’s afraid you will die

Memories come in fragments
I don’t know why
I try to remember
It makes me cry
I feel like I have lost that time
I want to know what it felt like to almost die
Corbyn Dec 2019
Ambulance ride
Why did I do this?
I’m scared I will die
Losing coherence
Seizures arise
I don’t remember
Days of that time
They’re scared I won’t make it
My family cries
I had a suicide attempt a few months ago that almost ended my life. I want to write poetry to help myself process what happened. I’m going to tell my story in segments because it’s hard to write about. Thank you all for reading my work! <3
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