Outlaws in Love

You, a chaotic beauty,
Shootin' smiles from distance.
A dangerous puzzle -
Lost, with in your own existence.

Me, a haywire mess,
Trying to make sense of things.
Willing to be by your side;
In summers, winters, falls and springs.

We, a crazy hybird of chaos and peril.
Ready, to have a crazy ride.
Ready, to be the outlaws in love,
Like Bonnie and Clyde.

Depression is when the clouds leave you for a while, but they stand, hovering, remnants of it leaked into the atmosphere, and if one little thing goes haywire, well, then it comes back. And hard. It is not something that can go and stay for a little while. It's always there, hovering, waiting for the right time to strike.

I’ve burnt my tongue
On the ashen words
forgotten past
Forgotten year
the bitter-sweet
Destroying
the dark past
Up in flames
I see the writing in the sky
I see the writing on the wall
Social graces social falls
White noise
Amber hate
Static whispers crawling deep
Keep the dream slow and sweet
Nine fathoms deep
a buzz and rush
I feel the situation hopeless.
You claim ‘Love’ but what is That really?
my fingers are numb
Love is no reason or excuse.
One must feel love to accept love-
and I do not feel or believe in it.
Everything is shutdown. Out of order
Come back tomorrow.
Try again. No pass no admittance.
No crime or punishment.
No smiles or tears with me.
A blank wall. Cold brick.
Cracks shored up again and again.
A full time job shoring up these cracks
Crumbling cave ins
I think of you everyday & often still.
I cry when I see love stories & heartbreak.
I cry when I hear 'there is always hope.'
I had so little faith & was so afraid.
I never wanted to hurt you.
I hope you can forgive me giving up
losing hope.
I am still in love with you.
I pray now those feelings fade.
Love doesnt thrive in the dark
gathering dust
but set free a proclamation a declaration
a truth shone in light
. No shame.
No closet feelings buried ;
No whispered desires and intentions
Faith?
The illusion crumbled in my hands
and faded from my eyes.
I could not SEE
how we were supposed to BE
Too many lies weakened the line.
So weak ripping easily this love line
no longer yours or mine sayonara
love mine
love line
Its all Hay wire
a fine Tangle and bind
Be so kind & hang up
your hang ups clashed with mine
no nurture no teddy bear cuddle
But sharp cuts
a twisting jumble of words lost in the rumble
Lost in rhyme
delete unfollow block mute ban hide
I still know your alive.

© Lesley Wood

https://soundcloud.com/royalejelly/haywire-ft-lescelin