I sent you a message last morning,
still waiting on your usual reply...
But I'm strucked with the dreaded news,
your confidant...your friend, SHE DIED.
Ofcourse someone must have lied
because you told me you'd be OK...

So, how is it even possible?
How can this news be real?
Dumbfounded...
Left in utter shock...
I'm fighting to breathe again,
but my airway just seems blocked.
💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔
Breathing has never felt this difficult.

I keep hearing it will be ok...
But OK would only be believable if you were allowed to stay
And you weren't...
Evil triumphs now in such an unjust way
-------------------------------------------------------------­---------
What have you ever done to anyone but be Sacrificial, Understanding, Sincere, Absolving and Nonjudgemental
Yet, that never seemed enough- DID IT!
We all stood and watch you take the fall.
And Evil was only too happy, he took it all...

Now, here I sit...waiting for my heart to beat again...at its normal pace
But that seems almost impossible FOR...
Yours has stopped beating
And I've lost the comfort of your smiling face
Your warm and affectionate embrace
Your encouraging words despite your fears
Your caring hands to dry my tears

I'm still waiting to hear your child-like voice
"ah girl!" "Hanging in there."
Still waiting to see you typing...
"Gm dearie🤗..."
"God is all we need in this world"
"No matter how things seem, God is in control"
I'm still awaiting on our next church date
I know I'll see you in eternity, but until then...

I'm still here... I'm still waiting to BREATHE...

                 For Susan who left me BREATHLESS

since his passing, I feel nothing
life seems like it’s for nothing
so I started to flirt with Death
like: “psstt, I’m here waiting for you”

shutting my surroundings

I feel so alone in it all
my future is gone
my love is gone
my best friend is gone
my baby is gone
my everything is gone

I’m slipping away ever second
wishing for him back
.I’m alone.

I can taste death calling my name every second
It’s very soothing
I want to answer...
Maybe I get to see him...

baby I really need to feel your hue
at least in my dreams
I have been feeling heavy since your birthday
drained - weary - weak - weepy
.so alone that I can taste the void inside me.
thought friends of yours be a help but they injected a deeper void within my soul
a reminder they aren’t you
no one can ever be the way you were
...
wish you were here to hold me
wish you were here to adore me
wish you were here to love me
wish you were here to care for me
...
.visit me.please.come back to me.
living without you everyday is another stab right into my heart everyday
.the wound is getting wider and stronger.


.come back.