The sun has set, the darkness has risen
The time is now–

My written letters, long and full of apologies
Placed on the table, where my “family” is bound to see

Strikes of lighting zap my heart, making me anxious yet full of fog
As I step out the door, saying one last goodbye
To the place that's my home— but never felt so

Taking down the sidewalk, with limbs so weak,
So tired– yet full of so much relief,
For at last, something now, takes action—
To try and end my suffering

That something is me—

Arriving at the bridge, climbing onto the railing
looking down upon the fast flowing river
I knew jumping was sure to get me pulled under by the tide
And then I would drown.

That however, was the plan

So as I tore away the remains of my resolve
I closed my eyes, and lept
Crashing down with a loud splash,
Into the dark, cold, wet abyss

The shock of the cold and strength of the fall,
Pushed the air out my lungs
The quick, ruthless tide rushed me down the river
Pulling me under, filling my lungs with ice-cold water.
As the cold absorbed me, taking all my heat
I knew for sure, I’ll never again feel warm

banging hard into surrounding rocks and objects—
The last bit of fear— The last speck of will to live—
Died as I stopped fighting the tide and let myself fade
Accepting that death was superior to life

My breathing stopped

I felt myself die.

Staring into space
I think of a distant time
A time were the sun would never shine,
But you, were one half of the moon
And I, the other half

Together we lit up the night
Together we ruled the stars, the sky

At the time, the night seemed endless
As if it would last forever

And though we shone so very bright
Called this free world our own
It couldn’t last forever

For the sky we called our home; our safe haven—
Became blanketed in thick fog and smoke

The volcano of trial, pain, and hardship
Had erupted and destroyed our home

From the eruption,
A burning magma rock flew

Flew with such force, that when it striked me and you—
It shattered the moon
It broke us apart–
Back into two


So now the night,
is dark,
Cold
Empty
And sad

The moon nowhere to be seen,
for it’s two halves—
you,
And me

Are no longer whole

And that is why,
full moons come slow

My ill-filled mind adrift on winds ethereal,
Hopeless, I muse on my own burial.
I dug six feet in foreign lands immemorial,
As ruminations run wild, rabid, and feral.

Imprisoned self, reborn as antisocial,
Past cohorts are now strangers, fantasmal.
Depressing illusions intensify suicidal,
Knocking on doors of the heavenly celestial.
Yet kneeling at the pulpit feels nothing special.

Words misunderstood, deemed uncolloquial,
Unbothered to learn, It's deemed impractical.
Learning the language they use in their imperial,
To make my plea resound consequential.

𝒩𝑜𝓌 𝒽𝑒𝒶𝓇 𝓂𝓎 𝓅𝓁𝒾𝑔𝒽𝓉 𝒻𝑜𝓇 𝒶𝓃𝒸𝒾𝑒𝓃𝓉 𝑔𝑜𝒹𝓈 𝒷𝒶𝓃𝒶𝓁!

"𝑯𝒂𝒓𝒌! 𝒐𝒍𝒅𝒆𝒏 𝒈𝒐𝒅𝒔 𝒉𝒆𝒆𝒅 𝒕𝒉𝒚 𝒃𝒆𝒔𝒆𝒆𝒄𝒉 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒄𝒖𝒓𝒆,
𝑭𝒐𝒓 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒆 𝒔𝒐𝒖𝒍 𝒊𝒔 𝒐𝒏 𝒂 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒕𝒆 𝒐𝒇 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒖𝒏𝒔𝒖𝒓𝒆.
𝑻𝒉𝒚 𝒔𝒆𝒆𝒌 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒔𝒆𝒍, 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒏𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒆𝒍𝒔𝒆 𝒎𝒐𝒓𝒆.
𝑾𝒉𝒊𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒖 𝒐𝒍𝒆' 𝒈𝒐𝒅𝒔, 𝒐𝒏𝒍𝒚 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒚 𝒑𝒓𝒐𝒄𝒖𝒓𝒆.

𝑾𝒊𝒍𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒖 𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒂𝒏𝒔𝒘𝒆𝒓, 𝒕𝒉𝒚 𝒔𝒊𝒍𝒆𝒏𝒄𝒆 𝒂 𝒌𝒏𝒆𝒍𝒍?
𝑨 𝒘𝒉𝒊𝒔𝒑𝒆𝒓, 𝒂 𝒔𝒊𝒈𝒏, 𝒊𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒔𝒉𝒂𝒅𝒐𝒘𝒚 𝒄𝒆𝒍𝒍.
𝑫𝒐 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒓𝒔 𝒏𝒐 𝒍𝒐𝒏𝒈𝒆𝒓 𝒉𝒆𝒆𝒅 𝒎𝒐𝒓𝒕𝒂𝒍 𝒅𝒆𝒔𝒑𝒂𝒊𝒓?
𝑶𝒓 𝒉𝒂𝒔 𝒅𝒊𝒗𝒊𝒏𝒊𝒕𝒚 𝒕𝒖𝒓𝒏𝒆𝒅 𝒃𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒕𝒉𝒚 𝒑𝒓𝒂𝒚𝒆𝒓?"

For endless ages, I wait in vain,
Enduring this stone-hearted disdain.
Forsaken and lost, your silence profane—
An eternal ache, my solitary refrain.

Here it is once more
- a dark form looming -
A shadow from Before,
A storm's mark, dooming.
.
Invisible vise grip,
the weight on my chest;
Marble-heavy crypt,
A thornbird's nest.
.
This hunter is slow,
patient, though relentless;
with no arrow, or bow,
or trigger to press.
.
His footsteps fall monotone
- finality's beat -
Like soot on a wall of bone,
the last defeat.
.
Although he'll stay
out of sight, a dark drape,
Know that his prey
might never escape.
.
When no one's around,
When comforts are few,
In the scent of moist ground,
He could find you too.
.

Talking daisies,
feeding grass,
and marble monuments
to the past.

Blackbird serenades,
painted bones,
the fox is screaming
a lovers moan.

The moon is rising,
waiting stars impatient,
***** crickets
their song so blatant.

The mud is cooling
as the breeze caresses.
Breath is fleeting
and darkness possesses.